Dead to Me
by Joynessdotcom
Summary: ONLY D&G Chapter One. Certain actions force Sookie to end the bond, but what are they? And will Eric ever be able to truly love her as she loves him? A bit OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter One**

Everyone stood tense waiting for the pin to drop. The room was like any other hotel room. The walls were eggshell, a perfect off white and the lines were clean. The room felt sterile, as if it knew that any more color or craziness would flip the switch to set the bomb off. Her heartbeat was the timer. And it was ticking, and everyone, including her, could hear it.

"Sookie, please, honey, it doesn't have to be this way," he said making sure his eyes were meeting hers.

She kept contact, and with their meeting glare, the bond flared, buzzing high and sharp. It was alerting them that something was wrong—that they should be aware of the danger showering upon them. As if they needed that.

"This is what I want, Eric."

The pain, his pain, caused her to flinch but she did not look away. She couldn't. She filtered through the card deck of emotions. She could not remember a time when there were so many feelings throbbing in the bond. She was looking for her strength, and selected hope instead—not wanting to risk keeping the moment aching any longer.

Bill's arm rested carefully around her waist, and his fingertips hung to her belt but did not move. His other hand rested on her right shoulder. She knew that this was killing Eric but did not make any effort to ease his comfort.

"I can't live like this anymore—it's killing me. You know what you did, and I do too. This is really the best for you."

He discarded the thought, as if he was important in this moment.

"Breaking the bond could kill you."

"I told you I was willing to die for you."

"We don't have to be together. We could live separately—I could move away and you'd barely know I existed."

She didn't waver. She was unwilling to let his words make her change her mind.

"You'd still be there, I can't live with you under my skin—reminding me of the pain you've put me through. I want to move on—I'm trying to move on. You're killing me."

She had said it twice and each time it cut into him. He was her protector; all he could think about was keeping her alive. It was against the grain to allow her to suffer, but if he was the source, was he willing to keep putting her through it?

"You said you were willing to die for me."

He said it as if it would be the declaration that changed her mind. She always kept her promises. He allowed her hope to fill his—this was the moment that her crazy idea would flicker, and then be extinguished.

"Not slowly."

He fell to his knees and the blood ached to come through every orifice but only his tears spilled over. She took this moment to breathe in and look away.

"See, you feel something."

"Yes, your pain allows me to feel nothing else."

He looked away, letting the shame seep into his heart. Pam stepped towards him; the wave of movement made every person in the room bristle.

"When the bond is cut, you'll be dead to me. You are dead to me."

She nodded to Niall who stepped forward. She grabbed the dagger that had been on the table between them. It glittered and for a moment she caught the reflection of Eric's eyes. He was taking the moment to search the bond and remember everything that was left of them. She cut through the skin that was tight against her flexed wrist before he could feel anything else hovering between them.

She felt Bill tense when the smell of her pulsing blood filled his nostrils, and Pam looked up from Eric, fangs down. Sookie lowered herself to the small lounge chair and held her hand over the white bucket that was placed on top of newspapers left there to protect the carpet. The blood spilt.

"Get him out of here, Pam. Before he does something irrational and gets himself killed."

Pam rotated her master towards the door, and debated whether to pick him up. She looked over her shoulder finally granting herself the opportunity to speak.

"Sookie…"

But before she had the chance to finish her thought, Niall had taken the dagger and cut open her other wrist.


	2. Chapter 2

_**EDIT: SORRY TO ALL OF THOSE WHO WERE CONFUSED. THIS CHAPTER, AND ALL THOSE TO FOLLOW LEAD UP TO CHAPTER ONE. I know it can be a bit exhausting but I'm hoping it will be worth the work and worry. Also, again, this is my first story, so please be patient and kind with me. **_

_Thanks to all who added Dead to Me to their story alerts and such! I'm especially excited about being added by those authors of fabulous Eric/Sookie stories that have kept me alive this past month. =) Thanks for the reviews and please let me know if I'm having too many errors and I'll see about getting someone to edit for me. I hope y'all enjoy!_

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Two, Six Months Earlier**

"Shit!"

My white shirt was drenched with yellow. I could already feel the beer seep into my socks as the pitcher was still bouncing between my sneakers and the dark carpeting. At least it was meant to take this sort of wear.

"I'm so sorry, Sookie! I'm no good at this," Amelia looked at me, waiting for some form of forgiveness after bumping into me and spilling my already late refill.

She was right though. She wasn't meant to be a waitress. I had finally decided that Arlene was worth all of the crap she had put me through. At least, she gave my feet a bit of a rest.

"Its fine darling—not like this is the first time."

Of course not, this was the second pitcher in those three days, not to mention the fried chicken salad that took forever to pick up last night. My southern sweetness had soured after the fifth day of back to back shifts in the past eight day run. I hadn't ever missed Sam this much.

He had called tonight to say he would be staying for five more days but his mother was out of the hospital. He was trying to intervene with Don, but it would be a hard road to travel, especially since Don had realized that Sam was a shifter as well. I'm sure that revelation was a bit of a show stopper---well, one plus one does equal two, dearest step-daddy.

The revelation had certainly given journalist a lot to talk about this past week. The news had been on constantly, interrupting the games to give the newest reports of incidents, and random animal killings. This would certainly be an adjustment that would require patience for the long haul. The first couple days had been overwhelmingly busy at the bar. Customers that weren't there the night of the Were Revelation were coming in to get a peek of Sam (as if they had never seen him before), but disheartened when they realized he was away.

I reached up for the woven rope and clanged the bell. "Last call!"

My feet and back ached but mostly I was feeling a bit sick. I had served my last whiskey sour and started filling the salt and pepper shakers. I pocketed my last $2.50 tip. _That will take care of the cable bill this month. _My attitude was definitely not helping anything.

"Y'all can go home, I'll close up."

"You sure, Sookie? I can come in early tomorrow morning if you want," Holly's mind flickered to the shift she really didn't want to do. She was hoping I wouldn't ask her to fill in last minute but was too nice to say no. Not now at least. _Hoyt will kill me if he doesn't get any tonight, it's been four days, and really—I could use some lovin'._

_I can too, sistah._ I could manage tomorrow on my own. There's really not much of a crowd on a Thursday lunch. God, I needed Sunday to get here. At least football season was over--- no need to be open early. Sam had told Trey not to worry about Sunday; I knew it could sometimes be a big night because of the liquor shops being closed, but really, I didn't think I could be that good of a friend. I felt Holly's annoyance at my delay.

"Of course not, I'll be right after you just have to do a couple last minute things and then I'm going home."

Holly nodded and left with Amelia to get their purses. Trey waited by the bar for me to turn off all the neon signs and then wrapped his arm around Amelia's waist. I knew they would wait for me, so I decided to let the restocking wait until the morning. Maybe Terry wouldn't mind the physical labor.

We shut off the last lights and I took out my key. "Y'all go ahead—I have to water Sam's plants."

"You sure? We can wait Sookie."

"I'm not afraid of the dark. Who's going to get me in Big Bad Bon Temps?"

Okay—that was rhetorical. It was good that Amelia hadn't been here forever and no one had filled her in on the details. Or maybe she was too tired to give me lip.

"Okay! I'm staying at Trey's tonight. Call me if you need anything."

I watched their taillights edge off in the distance before dipping my hand in his empty, tin, watering can for the key to his trailer. _I'm sure Sam wouldn't mind, but just in case._ Obviously, Sam wasn't much of a gardener but I gave his Camelia bush a good soak and then yanked out my car keys. I stood next to my locked car door, allowing myself to rest my head on the cold metal. I could feel my headache move from my forehead to the back of my scalp, resting in the tight muscles in my neck.

_Pop._

I flung myself around placing my back to the car. In the process, the loose metal caught the side of my head and made a three inch gash extending from my temple to my cheek. My cold fingers made contact with the already leaking blood and I winced.

"Shit."

My mind finally caught up with the fact that I was in danger and I allowed my left eye to make contact with the trouble before attending to the blood that was spilling onto my eyelashes. _Claudine._

"This is not my night, Claudine. You could win a medal for the art of being subtle, you know. Think you could help me out here, instead of just watching me suffer?"

"I'm here for prevention purposes—its not my job to heal you."

She was surprisingly formal. I thought we were all into the cousin thing now days. Perhaps, my tone wasn't the cousin vibe either, but was unable to set it to rights.

"Well, some fairy godmother you are. You didn't see this coming," I used my other hand to indicate the gash that was starting to tingle from the exposed air.

"No. I came to tell you that you shouldn't drive tonight," she gave me a look that reminded me that this wasn't her idea of a good time.

"Sorry—like I said, it's been a long night. So how am I supposed to get home?"

"Perhaps I could be of service?"

His leer made my dead feet tingle. I hadn't felt much behind the bond; maybe the concentrated pain covered his humming. I turned around to see him, fangs fully down, and he had given us a fifteen feet berth to tolerate Claudine.

"Eric."

"Sookie."

Claudine and I exchanged a look—mine meaning don't you dare leave me here, hers, apologetic.

"Well, I really should be going… I have to… well, stay alive. Night Sookie. Don't DRIVE!"

And with that, we were alone, and only the bond seemed to be present company. I noticed that all bullfrogs or owls had been smothered. _Obviously, I wasn't the only one afraid of Eric._ The headache and pain had eased with Eric's closeness.

"Lover, I'm surprised that you have made it this long without some form of injury. May I?"

I nodded. My hand, red and sticky, lowered itself and hung limp as my blurred vision found contact with the shimmering blue orbs. He stepped forwards, and I stepped back until I had made contact with my car door again. There wasn't anywhere to go, and my movement hadn't indicated my need for personal space. He kept moving forward until I could feel the rippling of his denim against the spandex of my uniform. I allowed my head to dip down and rest. The sound of my breathing was resistant to silence. His index finger hooked my chin and moved my eyes so they aligned with his.

He moved, still keeping eye contact, as if to smell my hair but instead his tongue extended and made contact with the exposed tissue. I flinched from the pain---too caught up in the moment to anticipate the pain he could cause.

"Sorry. I lost control of the bond for a moment. Your proximity can sometimes make me feel a bit… what is the word…" he pondered for a moment searching the sky and freeing my eyes from his view…

"intense."

I was confused. Did he mean the moment was intense? Because I would have to agree, or was he tense? It didn't matter, I understood the sentiment. He filtered my pain and offered me numbness. As if Novocain had been injected through his returning gaze, I was finally content. Or was that his pleasure as he moved in for another lick? Our bodies were flattened against each other and I could taste his scent clinging to his skin. It was surprisingly intimate? My extremities were starting to warm with his pressure.

I closed my eyes obligingly as his tongue lapped closer. When I opened my eyes again, everything was suddenly clear. He moved a couple inches away, giving me room to breathe but still keeping our abdomens touching.

"Thank you," we said simultaneously and our eyes made contact once again. I was surprised to not find his smirk present on his face.

"I'm sure you've realized by now that the bond is permanent barring extreme circumstances."

I nodded, not ready to speak again.

"Your pain these last couple of days has made me uneasy."

"I've felt sick to my stomach, well, that's the emotion I connected with the nausea from my humanity," he clarified.

Not as if he was upset that I was in a bad way. Why was he telling me this? And suddenly a crunch and his wrist was thrust to my lips. I moved my mouth unconsciously. Wait, I didn't want to be doing this, did I? He nodded as a mother would to her child that had just swallowed grape syrup. I waited for him to say "good girl." Instead, he took my hand, still covered with dried blood, and slipped one finger at a time into his mouth. His tongue swirled happily absorbing the remnants clinging to my nail beds.

"Shall we?"

His eyebrow arched and I felt him shifting through my emotions. Yes, I suddenly remembered, the sex had been unbelievable. My feet may have been dead but I think I had some energy left to relieve the tension in my shoulders and neck. If we hurried home, perhaps, we could get in seconds before dawn.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks to all who were patient with my little mishap last chapter. Again, I'm new at this. Hopefully, this lemony goodness will do the trick. (Obviously, this is my first attempt at something like that) Also, this is from Eric's POV and who the Eric of my_ _story is, and with time, perhaps, he will come to be the Eric we (faithfull, Eric addicts) want him to be. Especially, if the first chapter is any indication. Enjoy. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!_

**Dead to Me: Chapter Three**_(Same time frame as Chapter Two)_

EPOV

Her taste clung to my lips and my tongue dug between the crevices of my teeth searching for the sweet but burnt flavor of the blood. It wondered if all my memories were as realistic as I had accepted them as being, if so, her taste had changed. _Absence makes the heart grow fonder._ No, that wasn't it. Her taste had changed. Her fae blood was more present; enough to make our separation and recent proximity leave me engorged almost instantly. _Blame Claudine._ I had decided on more suitable, restrictive undergarments tonight. There was no reason for random disturbances to distract us from our rendezvous. _Yes, there would definitely be a rendezvous tonight. _Her heartbeat had neglected to go back to the calm beat I had taught myself to memorize when she didn't know I was in her presence.

I finally stepped back, this wasn't the place. I left my hand extended, palm opened to the sky. She rolled her eyes but placed the clanking metal in its place. I folded myself into the box of metal. _Buy American, my ass._ I slammed the door and knew what I did wrong before her warning look reached my consciousness. I cranked the engine and noticed the absence of the warm intensity I usually encountered underneath me. She made as if to give me directions, but stopped after my curt nod. I slammed the pedal down as I flipped it into reverse. If I were human, I would have crashed into the trash bins behind us; the brake was not tuned to a delicate touch.

"This isn't one of yours. It's not meant to be ridden hard," she said without fear in her tone. _No, she had other things on her mind._

"Few are."

My face was set carefully; it always came off better when no emotion took away from my quick wit. _Alright, it was a bit too easy—even for me._ I allowed my chains on the bond to unleash; (my feelings always seeped through anyways, but containment could be helpful for both of us) she could have an idea of my intentions for tonight, momentarily. If I hadn't been so absorbed in myself, I would be aware of her underlying prickling of anticipation. _Not everything is about you, Eric. _

My self-scolding did not get me very far. I had been of this mindset for over a thousand years. Even I knew that something life changing would have to shake my core enough to prompt some form of self-analysis. But really, I wasn't made to take care of her—to think about her first. She may have been a former obsession but now, she was mine and that wasn't ever as exciting as the long goose chase she had thrown me on. _If I had known a feeble, weak Eric would take her heart, spread her legs, I would've stolen her virginity---days before Bill._

The fleeting thought brought me back to where I had resumed conscious thought. She had tasted different. She had had another lover. I knew she would be sullied with the Tiger, but her scent was even wilder, as if she had been infused with something bubbly. _Yes, this was certainly a twist._ My revelation had almost made me forget my place. I put all of my energy into breaking her mid reach of opening her door. She caught my eye and didn't look down. What had gotten into her? Usually, she would blush and find her feet excruciatingly interesting. Her gloriously firm ass swung sweetly in her uniform as she made her way up the steps. Everything flexed in the right way. _Yes, the shifter certainly got some things right. _

"Are you coming?"

I met her glance again. _Get into the game, Viking. _

"Blood?"

"No. My appetite has been spoiled."

She raised her eyebrows but said nothing._ Where had my innocent, vulnerable Sookie gone?_

"The were revelation has lined our suffering state's pockets with quite a few bills."

"Our meaning Vampires."

It was not a question.

"Of course."

"When one man's door closes, another locks him in."

Her sultry voice had entered my ears and lit my limbs on fire. I had never heard her so smug and confident. It flicked my wick.

"I'm quite sure that isn't the saying."

"Is it really necessary to force conversation, slide in dirty comments, flirt, and then find some excuse to touch me? When we could just do—this?"

She shed her white shirt allowing me to take in the fresh taut breasts tied down by a lacy, white, obstruction.

"Who has been between your legs lately, lover," I asked, making sure my voice didn't sound too interested. I was too old fashioned to share my meals. She ignored my question.

"And this," she whispered as she jerked my carefully chosen belt buckle open and unzipped my jeans before I could feel my vocal cords catch up with my impulse to emit a growl.

"I didn't bring a were home with me tonight, did I?"

Her teasing made me breathe. I never needed a reason to shed clothes. So this is what she wanted.

"I think we both know who is best at riding you, lover."

Her heart sped faster, and her nerves flashed across her face so quickly, too quickly, I may have forgotten they were there if the bond hadn't seemed to resist her stifles. I cupped her ass and thrust it to my flapping jean opening. And we were now against the wall. My instincts and quick action sometimes seemed to surprise even me.

"Octavia," she breathed out.

Damn my lover and her guests. Perhaps, I could pay someone to rent from her that would make themselves scarce. I lot of business meetings, coming up, whenever my extremities hardened. _The bedroom it would be. _

We were naked by the time I had shaken the bedroom's doorknob loose. I controlled my hands to move at human pace—to graze her mound, fingertips lingering, before I plied her lips apart. I knew she was ready before I made contact but hundreds of years of thousands of lovers had led to a common conclusion. A happy lover made a more satisfied Eric. Her head rolled back when I slipped my middle finger inside of her. The warmth always surprised me, a few degrees warmer than any mistress I had encountered before. My thumb knew what to do without conscious thought. I scraped the outer layers of where she wanted me to press, knowing she would have to look up eventually. This level of pleasure was adequate but we both knew where our night could go.

Her sweet blood hummed beneath my skin, and I knew I couldn't wait much longer. It had been too long. Our whole night had been full of foreplay, and we could take our time on seconds. Then I could be the lover she wanted, the lover she was not admitting to herself that she wanted. Her head moved back to me, finally getting impatient. Not wanting her mind to wander, I made contact. She moaned and I took that moment to set her knees on the bed and thrust a pillow beneath her torso.

"It's been too long, lover."

My hands reached around for her breast as I entered her from behind. I inhaled her scent, and moved my hands simultaneously. My left hand clasped her hip, guiding her in a circular motion, making sure to absorb both of our building pressures. My right hand, tickled the soft tissue beneath her hanging breast, where I had learned she was sensitive. I slowed down, almost pulling out, giving her a moment to remember my gracious plenty before fulfilling her want.

It was moments like these when I wished Sookie wasn't breakable. So I wouldn't have to worry about harming her, passing the point from rough pleasure to pain. This time, a simple mistake, and I would have to answer to a higher power, Felipe, if his asset had met the… _died._ I reminded myself where I was. I felt her pleasure almost there and I took the moment to flip her.

"C'mon lover, I believe you owe me a good scream," her breast held a pleasurable rhythm. The way her tongue caressed the name I called her, made me want to take her again even though I was already in the process of fucking her.

That I did. Her long nails, polish chipped, grasped my rear and accompanied my last hard thrusts. _One…Two..Three.._ I slipped three fingers into her cooler mouth, muffling her moans and then put pressure where her walls clung tighter immediately. With a flick of her nipple, her scream was almost frightening, but it brought me to where I needed to be. I found the soft spot next to her collar bone and made contact. My blood had already enriched her flavor, bringing her essence forward with our connection. Two more thrusts and a flick of the thumb gave her rippling aftershocks as I let go. Again, I was thankful for my vampire strength that left me still standing, though my ankles did click about finding the appropriate pressure.

_Yes, she may be the best… however, those two Asian witches._ I had almost forgotten the Spanish flamenco dancer. Yes, but she certainly has time to climb ranks. I fell back onto the bed beside her. Her smell, the one that had relieved me of the torture of my restless mind, left me almost sated. Her breasts heaved as she struggled to control her breathing. I couldn't help but give my ego a good rub down. I was talented.

"Maybe that'll give her a reason to finally find her own place," she said. Her statement surprised me and I laughed at the thrill she seemed to always instill in my lower abdomen. I shuffled through the bond. Her exhaustion had been relieved by my blood, and for the most part she was content--- and in good humor. Yes, I deserved a pat on the shoulder.

I rolled to my side so I could look at her flushed cheeks.

"Your brazenness did exciting things to me, lover."

"Yes, you weren't too bad yourself."

I raised my eyebrow and started to stroke her naked stomach. The blond trail to paradise was still soaked with sweat.

"Really? And I thought you were doing all the work."

_Road hard and put away…_She giggled; the rippling of her body did interesting things to my recovering part. I took her breast in my mouth but she didn't seem surprised that I had already moved onto another round. She raised herself onto her elbows so she could watch. _We would be much more in control this time._ I began to lick all over her body, if she wasn't going to have time to shower, I would make sure this time, her scent didn't linger forcing my nostrils to be filled with beer and cigarettes. Her breathing hitched, surprisingly faster than our last round. _This is the lover she wanted._

I tasted her, and looked up to find her still staring at me, mouth hanging open to catch more oxygen. I continued my work and knew her head had begun to loll back.

"It's your turn to be in control, lover."

Confused in her hypnotic bliss, she didn't move, so I rolled her on top of me, and allowed her to watch my biceps flex as I slipped her onto me, not even needing to look to make perfect contact. She pressed her palms into my chest, scraping her fingers across my nipples. Her knees lifted and resumed our separation and joining. I allowed myself an almost silent moan, but could tell she heard it and groaned back a sexy mew. I swelled.

Her pace was slow but satisfying and I gave her the benefit of my full attention. She brought her eyes back to mine.

"Eric…"

I knew what she would whimper, and that was when I took my opportunity to bring us to missionary. I found the spot without a second of hesitation and brought her over-- neglecting my own orgasm. It wasn't worth hearing those words. I slipped out, and gave her twenty-two minutes of curled up satisfaction. Her twisted, matted curls clung to my chest. Finally, her heartbeat returned to its calm state; she was asleep. I disengaged and wrote a note.

_Sookie,_

_Your shift has been covered for today by one of my girls—go back to sleep. We must meet the day after the shifter returns. It is a pity; I will have to miss your sweet scent for so long. I have heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Wouldn't you agree?_

_-E_

Yes, I had certainly learned a trick or two in my thousand plus years. I taped the message to her alarm clock. I checked on her facial cut and it had healed, as I remembered before, but it never hurt to be positive. I licked my bite marks, making sure all of my bases were covered. I was sure I would be enjoying that skin very frequently, and couldn't allow myself to be the fault of its blemishes. The taste of dried blood lingered in my mouth. Yes, a few more grindings and I'd have her back to the way I remembered. Now what could I arrange to be delivered before dawn? I would think of it on my flight home.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks again for adding me on story alerts or favorites. I hope this one gets you going--- nookie free, to my relief! LOL. I thought I should say (since I neglected to mention earlier) that Charlaine Harris owns the characters, I'm just writing my own fantasy of how these things turn out. Not too much action—but important to the storyline so stay patient! Enjoy._

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Four (Fight or Flight)**

SPOV

"Not yet… please, not yet," I wasn't sure who I was speaking to, but I just wanted someone to give me more time. _All I need is a few more hours. _I prepared myself for the cold air, and the energy to raise my arm and reach the alarm clock. _Ugh…god… this week has been awful… my body feels...it feels... fine. I actually feel…great. _The silence of the alarm clock allowed me to process my tangled mind. I felt as if I was reading a thousands of thoughts all at once. _Put it together, Sookie._ I realized that warm light rays were being filtered through the blinds across the blankets covering my naked body. _Hmmm… I thought I'd decided to be more modest since Amelia and Octavia got here. _

Octavia. Eric. And suddenly the memory of sex made my breath hitch in my throat and my toes curl involuntarily. _Yes, the sex was amazing._ My hand reached between my folds and found thick moisture, and surprising tenderness. _Do I have time to shower?_ I was too distracted to realize that I hadn't checked the time. _11:45. Shit!_ And that was when I found the note.

_Sookie,_

_Your shift has been covered for today by one of my girls—go back to sleep. We must meet the day after the shifter returns. It is a pity; I will have to miss your sweet scent for so long. I have heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Wouldn't you agree?_

_-E_

My heart slowed to an even pace--- giving me a moment to realize that I hadn't let Sam down. He must've changed my alarm clock. _Why not a few more hours, then? Yes, a few more hours would be blissful._ I let my body settle into the pillows, but the aroma of sex took over my nostrils. I got up, not bothering to cover my body. _It's their fault if they come in unannounced._ I turned on the shower, ignoring the creaking of the pipes, and waited for the hot water.

My fingernails scratched at the scum of sweat and saliva that covered my body in a thick layer. My nipples hardened involuntarily but I didn't let myself succumb to the idea that it was my mind that induced the pressure. _It's the cold. _The water burned my shoulders but I needed to stay in the moment. I couldn't let my head take over. The smell of my pomegranate shower gel invaded my mind. _Our exchange definitely left me subjected to my senses. _

Last night had unfolded just as I had intended. I was shocked, at first that he was there. I knew that he would be coming soon; I had been preparing myself for weeks. I knew because I could sense his mind separating what he wanted versus what he needed. However, the revelation and my taxed body could not allow my mind to cope, to think for a second on his side of the bond. So, all of a sudden, he was there.

He was unaware that I had come to conquer the bond, and perhaps, I understood it better than he. There was a moment, sometime after Christmas, when I had allowed my mind to accept the bond for what it was and what it could be. It was as if the supernatural part of me was taking care of the human side. My fae and genetic quirks were pooling together to form a new Sookie, meant for something more than being a barmaid. It wasn't that I didn't love my job, I did. There was just a moment, and I'm not sure when, that I was no longer naive. I was almost sure it was either when Quinn betrayed me or when I realized my role with Hunter was significant. I wouldn't be pretty in a uniform forever.

From there, I learned to process the bond as I did the thoughts in Merlotte's. I could weave through the emotions and choose which one to dominate the part of my brain and soul. I could separate between my emotions and his, just as easily as cutting a deck of cards. Our bond was my playground. A couple of days of practice and I had been able to move my shields to cover my emotions and prevent his from invading my threshold.

Last night was what I needed. I figured out how much stress I could deal with and keep my shields maintaining their careful locks. It was also easier that there weren't any humans around to take up that side of my brain. I took the moment of separation in the car to send him anticipation, and then lowered my bonds to find lust breaking upon me. It took everything I had not only to not submit to his dominate feelings, but to keep my satisfaction to myself. I couldn't let him know how I wanted to unzip his pants and ask him to pull over. But most of all, I couldn't let him know the anger I felt that this is what he wanted at that moment. He didn't want to make sweet love, or thank me for the way I held his hand when he was frightened. He would've liked nailing me against the hood of his car and maybe I would have too, if we hadn't spent that month together. If I hadn't felt that something more.

The truth was, he had made his decision on our situation. It was one night, almost three weeks before last night. I knew he wasn't working, assuming that he was at his resting place, his home which I knew I would never visit. I knew because he wasn't preening, and still had a bit of hunger invading the bond. He was processing emotions so quickly that I had to sit down and give in: vulnerability, anger, success, lust, possessiveness, and rejection. But in between, there was something there, not love exactly, but something more than lust. Despite that one feeling, the bond settled into content, because he had made a decision, and for some reason, he was happy with it. And for some reason, I was sure he hadn't decided on leaving Fangtasia and living with me forever. _Taking care of me. _

I had chosen to act like a slut for him, but mostly for me. I couldn't let him stand there and lie. I couldn't hear him say that he cared about me, when for the most part, I knew he didn't. I didn't know if my shields could handle that level of stress. He may not have mastered the bond completely, but I was sure he thought he could still conceal things from me. So, I gave into what he had come there for. _And it was amazing_. I silently reprimanded myself on letting go during the second round. This was not a moment to submit, that wasn't what Eric wanted. I could not let my emotions take control of me or things would never work out between us. There was an agenda to follow.

I shut the water off and grabbed my fluffy robe. I took a clean towel and shook my hair through it, leaving it in a twist wrap above my head. _What to do with the day?_ I thought about taking advantage of the extra strength and do some men's work around the house, but didn't think I had the motivation to get to work. I focused my attention to the sound of a car lifting up and moving onto my smooth gravel driveway. _Oh the perks of Eric. _I headed to the door a little more quickly than I realized. The screen door was opened before the car had been shifted into park.

A woman in maroon scrubs got out of the teal Volkswagen parked in my driveway. I didn't seem to mind that a thin layer of cloth separated us from my birthday suit. _Hmmm… I hope the bond doesn't give me some of his characteristics along with his feelings. _

"Miss Stackhouse," her voice was level, snapping me out of my stupor. Her mind scampered between fear and doubt, finally deciding that I wouldn't cause her any harm. It would be nice if I could instill some fear into others. Well, perhaps that is my advantage. Eric didn't get me yet--- right? He had no idea who wore the pants in our relationship.

"Yes?"

"I was told I should give you this… where should I set up," she handed me a thick piece of cardstock with Pam's handwriting etched into the surface. When the pain entered my consciousness, I went to his card deck of emotions and chose his tranquility, flushing out the remnants of disappointment. _He may not know it but I'm in charge._ I reminded myself.

_Sookie, _

_I wish I were working out your kinks—but I'm sure this someone will set me at ease as well. Let this woman do the trick. And your peace should be just as comforting to me tonight. _

_-E_

I could almost feel the vomit surface my throat at the thought of Eric asking Pam to put something like that together. Though, I had to admit, it did sound like him. _I'll let myself believe it was dictated to her. _I couldn't believe his gift was so selfish. _But then again, I can._

"Ma'am?"

"Excuse me, what?"

"Where do you want me to set up?"

"Oh—of course, umm... the living room would be fine."

There was no sense in putting her in the bedroom, though I knew that the only reason the smell of sex was bothering me was his blood. But who knew what she could smell—you never knew these days. _Hmm... that may be a good idea..._ I searched her mind a second time, and banked on human.

"I'm going to heat myself up a bowl of soup before we start. Do you want anything?"

"No, thank you."

I headed towards the kitchen, not wanting to be in her way while she got everything put together. It always made me a bit uneasy to stand still while someone is doing hard work. I heated up a to-go can of tomato soup, and couldn't help but compare it to a true blood. The clanging of things being put together and organized went still and her even breathing told me she was ready.

"So where do we start?"

She squealed, startled by my silent entrance. _Stealth. This blood was definitely doing the trick. Underestimation is definitely good._

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's fine. I'm just a little—do you have any questions for me?"

"Nope, just tell me where you want me."

She gestured to the massage table laid out in the center of my clean, living room. _Well, at least Octavia is good for something._ The masseuse (Carly, I gathered, though she didn't want to leave her name just in case—unsure about whether she was hired by a vamp or were) held up a sheet and looked to the side while I shed my robe and rested my torso on the table. She covered me and then began her process. Her mind invaded mine as I tried to lower my shields and relax. _Eric's asleep, he'll have no idea._ But there was one score against Eric, because as soon as my mind was down, there was her mind panicking about whether I was a were, and how she couldn't afford to turn down this hire. _I guess Eric can't get everything right. _

I had to admit, I was still a bit disappointed by his lack of thought on the gift. This was far from relaxing. _Do I really need to write a thank you card for this?_ I knew what Gram would say, so I rejected my laziness. I couldn't help but think while the woman was rubbing me down, and my shields had gone back up where they belonged.

I thought about Eric again, and my new mind sense. How I had come to be like them in a way. I was starting to think like the vamps, analyzing my role with them, and looking for ulterior motives. Maybe you could call it self-preservation, but I just wasn't sure. So from there, I knew with Eric's decision and my lack of trust, that the only person I could really be with was Eric. _Fight or flight._ This was the only thing I could think of since his decision. _Fight or flight._ I wanted to be independent but I couldn't see myself alone.

My mind wandered to the night I was coming home from Jackson. My body automatically tensed at the reminder of Bill. The way he had looked at me—half as if he was apologetic, and half as if he were my savior. I pulled my emotions back to tranquility. What had Eric said?

"_Had it occurred to you that you tend to walk away when things between you and Bill become rocky? Not that I mind, necessarily, since I would be glad for you to sever your association. But if this is the pattern you follow in your romantic attachments, I want to know."_

I smiled at the memory. _Yes, he may want to walk away from this one—but I can't. I'll never be able to form another relationship with him inside me. _The phone rang---interrupting me from my train of thought.

"I need to get that—thank you for your work, I know it was a long drive, but just between us, I think we can call it a day."

I ran for the phone—catching it on its third ring. _Shit… now I probably really scared her._

"Hello?"

"Sookie. It's Alcide"

My heartbeat stayed even. _Maybe I'm more attached to Eric than I think. _

"Hey Alcide, how are things going over there? Sam's alright if that's what you wondering about."

"No, but thanks for the heads up. I was actually calling for a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

We both knew that I knew what he was wanting, but I knew it would be better for him to say it aloud. Paranoia had ensued.

"We're putting together our were area, merging packs and such. I need someone to read everyone. Tell me who's in it for the long haul, who wants to be on top, where our weaknesses may lie. Basically, it's going to be a summit of some sort for lack of better name. I need you to be there."

"I don't know…"

"You're renowned in the supe world. Everyone will protect you. You won't be in any danger."

"I feel like I've heard that before—maybe in not so many words but…yeah, Alcide, I just don't know. I'm so busy here. I have to take care of things for Sam, and I've got something I want to do for myself."

"You'll be paid, Sookie. And it's not for another month."

_Fight or flight, Sookie. _I knew this was the best way to go. _Submit to Eric, give him an ego stroke, make it a chess game. _

"If this is a job, Alcide. You need to be talking to Eric."

"You're human, Sookie. You can't be owned by them. This is between the two of us."

"Eric and I are one, Alcide. Nothing is between me and someone else. We're bonded. If you want my abilities, you call Eric, and work it out through him. He told me that the vampires and weres are switching roles on bodyguard duty."

"I should've known you were going to be his. That Sookie I saw, making me breakfast yet so heartbroken and strong willed. You loved Bill with all of your soul. I wanted you then. A woman who knew what she wanted, and where she could go in life. But now, you're his pet. The man who held a debt over my head, risking my life without any thought."

My anger overtook me for a moment.

"Are you putting yourself on the market, Alcide? And as for Bill, I was his chew toy and foolish to give myself over to someone so easily. I don't think I'll ever be able to give someone that much devotion, again. I know where I stand with Eric. If you need me, you can call Eric. Otherwise, we're done."

I hung up. I was beginning to understand what Eric got out of the last word. I was slightly turned on by the power, and started formulating an agenda. What does Eric want? _Submission…sex…comfort…but yet… independence._

The living room had been vacated as I had expected. It was almost dusk. I went into my bedroom and caught myself in the reflection. Stark naked. _Well, he said I needed to relax. _I opened by bedside table and found the pink rubber tool; Tara had given one to all her friends at her late bridal shower. It was her way of saying, "Enjoy the single life, I've got someone to do that for me and take out the trash."_Clever._

I laid down and spread my legs. I was still tender which was odd considering the blood taking care of everything else. I tugged on my nipples and used my other hand to caress my stomach. I thought about him, about the night before, about what he was going to feel right now. I knew he got up before the sun fully set. I released my shields and allowed my sexual tension to overcome him. I flipped the switch on the gadget for the first time and let the butterfly linger over my nub before inserting the rest of the object. My walls tightened to get the best resistance and push me closer to the edge. My breathing started to catch and I pulled my nipple harder. I quickened the pace and let my head fall back. I could feel the orgasm building on the pain from my sensitivity. And just when my feet started to flex away from my body, I pulled it out. My panting and need almost made me bring it back but this was a marathon, not a sprint.

I allowed my need to fill him. And as quickly as it started, I ceased. I brought my shields back, though leaving a lingering need to take control of him—to remind him what he was missing. I got up quickly, and shoved the vibrator back into the drawer—making sure to tighten my shields around the humiliation of doing what I did. I pulled my black, uniform shorts on, but had second thoughts; I needed to clean myself up. I still had some sense of priorities. I set up a to-do list in my mind, but made sure I was in Merlotte's to take over by 6:30. A smug smile pulled the corner of my lips upwards. _Fight or flight._


	5. Chapter 5

_These characters belong to Charlaine Harris. _

_Hello lovelies! I should be reading the fabulous Wilkie Collins novel, The Moonstone… for my Victorian Heroes and Heroines class… y'all are way too important to ignore! =) Also, I feel as if I've already read it… but maybe that's just my splendid imagination. So we're going to ERIC's POV again (sorry, if you're offended by the language, I found it suiting to what I was looking for, for Eric). Keeping you on your toes! Reviews are always appreciated. Sorry, for the wait! _

_Lastly, I've found that a lot of writer's leave some songs that inspired their chapters. None of my music directly inspires my writing, (usually, I'm bored in class and write through details of my sketch) but here are the common songs that I listen/watch music videos of () while I write. _

_You Found Me by The Frey_

_You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by The Offspring_

_If I Were a Boy by Beyonce_

_Don't Believe In Love, by Dido_

_If Everyone Cared, By Nickelback_

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Five**

I usually woke up with morning wood, but never on the brink, unless there were delectable thighs wrapped around my waist--- but even then, I had never wanted to explode so eagerly. I could feel her heart within' my dead one, and if I closed my eyes and licked my fangs I could taste her, and feel her warm lips surrounding my nipples. So I submitted, allowing my eye lashes to graze my cheeks and holding my hands stiffly to my side, letting her do the work. Just as soon as my lips opened to emit a moan. Just as soon as my fluids churned and the wrinkles fully expanded. Just as soon as my head pressed itself into the pillow. Everything stopped.

My pecs started to flex and goose bumps covered my forearms. My hands were noticeably colder, enough that I yearned for a hot flame to hover over. I flinched when I touched my hard-on, not only because my hands were so cold, but because it was so sensitive. I jerked hard, moving faster; it still felt warm as if she had just dismounted. As much as my hands worked hard, her need was my need. I could't reach the surface. _It's a good thing I always make sure my partner's happy--- this would make our love life… painful. _

I got up. I felt anxious and I thought of the three little words she would've emitted after saying my name, last night. The intensity in my nether region lessened. I exhaled even though it wasn't necessary_. Some things you just learn to mimic after watching a lot of television dramas, and practice adapting over 1000 years._ Nevertheless, I slipped on a pair of sweat pants knowing I would be hidden in my office working on payroll for the whole evening. I thought about flying but didn't think I could tolerate the wind breaking against my body. I would just drive.

When I arrived at Fangtasia, I signaled my child to bring me dinner, she didn't have to ask in what form. While waiting, I reviewed the complaints made against vampires in my area, and sketched out details of their punishments, taking care of most of them as to not give Victor anything to complain about. The door opened and I waited for someone to bow obediently at my feet. Her smell hit my nostrils as if I had been punched in the face. I recoiled.

"Pamela"

The girl was dressed in a sweet, pink dress with a peter pan collar. She had on fishnets underneath it leading downwards towards a pair of shit kickers with worn silver buckles.

"You don't own me," the girl's voice was thickened with cigarette smoke and her smell told me she was obviously aroused.

I raised my eyebrows, indicating to my child that there better be a good reason why my meal had spoken to me.

"I thought you liked them innocent yet stubbornly independent. It's not like I had the time to drive to Bon Temps."

Pam met my gaze and the corners of her smirk straightened. She had been enjoying her attention a bit too much lately. She immediately caught the girl's eyes and the clarity left to catch the cloudy place that they would no doubt be with someone else hours later. I did not need to ask if she had been tasted before. I could smell nothing but humans in between the scent that polluted her inner thighs. I was not a man that was willing to have… what was the phrase... sloppy seconds.

I scolded myself for my mind automatically returning to Sookie. And then my need. Yes, well, she would do. I sunk my teeth into the corner of her shoulder and neck before lowering my waistband. The girl huffed and moaned against me—her groan so much more masculine than my Sookie's whimper. I pumped harder at the memory. I felt her muscles squeezing me loosely as her head flipped forwards---I knew my relief would not arrive, but couldn't accept defeat. I finally pulled out, unsatisfied. My meal fell to her knees, as if my cock was the only thing balancing her in the air.

"Pamela."

"Master?"

I was angry that she felt the need to ask what I wanted. I waited expectantly and she picked the girl up, and pulled off the pink dress, exposing the fangbanger's leather dress. She threw the garment in the waste bin behind her. She pulled the girl, still dazed, out of my office.

I sat down in my office chair, again, deciding not to put myself back to rights. I needed the girl's sex to keep me focused. I looked down the legal pad, tracking the phone numbers I needed to return. Pam's leather stilettos were already interrupting my peripheral vision. She shoved the telephone under my face. _Yes, she is definitely on her toes, tonight._

"Northman."

"Packmaster Herveaux, here."

I was immediately irritated. Had she already gone to him for protection? _Was she already unhappy with our arrangement? _I silently corrected myself---I hadn't formed an arrangement, yet. _That definitely needs to be done._

"I received your check, Mr. Herveaux, you would have known by now if I had not," He played along, ignoring the were's title and dropping his contractions.

"Yes. Good. I called about Sookie."

"My bonded," I pronounced my subtle warning, that would alarm any supe.

"Yes, I'm aware. I talked to her today about needing her services. She directed me to you."

Ididn't think I could get any harder but her act of submission almost made me ask Pam to leave the room. _But who was I kidding, I am sure she wouldn't be bothered watching. _I reminded myself of those three little words. My clever reminder permitted me to listen again.

"The details?"

I kept my word count to a minimum to remind the were I was above a conversation with a dog. A weekend "summit" would take place in three weeks or so. Events would take place at night with small interviews and conferences during the late afternoon. I was already aware of everything—my locals would be security during the evenings. I was promised she would have trusted security every moment she was not with him. I did not like that she would be alone with him.

"$25,000"

The dog sputtered, and made some form of an argument that he wasn't the only one benefiting from her use.

"I'll drop a thousand because of her regard for you—but you will find a way to pay it, or my bonded will be entertaining me that evening."

"If she knew you spoke of her…you don't know what you have."

"Sookie is grateful to have me by her side. And you have never had her, so you do not know what I have as well. I will have her in my executive suite ready for your use by seven in three weeks. "

My tone finished the conversation; _I am sure I'll be able to fit in a good fuck by seven._ It was rare for him to plan three weeks in advance, but considering the current timeline.

The were's gruff voice stuttered out an argument but by then the phone had been passed back to his child. I rewarded my success with a mental pat on the shoulder. _39% to Felipe. 22% to my bonded. A little bit more than 9,000 in my pocket._ My calculations had rewarded me again. I felt better about the decision. I hadn't thought about that decision for weeks.

A scared knock clamored across the door reaching my ears slower than my vampiric attention had sensed the new visitor.

"Enter."

A small chested brunette entered his office in her Fangtasia uniform.

"Master, I just wanted to inform you I had returned."

"I don't remember authorizing any vacation time."

Pamela stepped from behind his desk, alerting the girl to her presence.

"Melissa was to work at Merlotte's today."

I was pissed that Pamela hadn't alerted me before I spoke, but I dampened the temperament. _She would be punished tomorrow evening for her attitude this week._ I decided it may have been a better resolution, the waitress now knew her place in my mindset, perhaps, she would yield to her fear of her master and not her sweaty fantasies.

"I believe your shift doesn't end until one."

"Two thirty."

I raised my eyebrows at her correction and she stuttered out her explanation. These were the moments I wanted my bonded's talents.

"She came in for her nightshift. I thought…"

"You are not paid to think."

"She said I could leave…that she would take care of everything."

"Does she pay you to think?"

The girl had teetered slightly forward, resting on her toes and then collapsed into Pam's waiting arms. I was not surprised at her reaction, nor those of my bonded. She was stubborn; we both knew that. My need for release was still surfacing my stream of consciousness. This was becoming a problem. I summoned my child to bring me an attractive piece of educated entertainment.

She brought the waitress back in the room and told her that she could get back in my good graces if she worked hard. The girl nodded and I debated if my good sense permitted this form of behavior. I pardoned the pleasure because I knew I would not be entering her, and she had been trying to find my favor for months now. I was surprised she had lasted this long here. _I could only think it was because of the vamps she ended up going home with._

She lowered herself to her knees, slipping her sweaty palms around my still exposed girth. Her confidence grew when I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of beer and friend onions. I let her concentration surround me but all I could feel was need, unsatisfied lust. I searched the bond for some feelings but my emotions were reflected by need. I dismissed the girl, who allowed my head to plop from her mouth. Her eyes teared up with disappointment at my reaction to her attentions.

I stood up, finally tucking myself back inside my sweats. I thought about returning to Sookie's home, ignoring the blissful memories and pounding her raw. I picked up my car keys but my mind caught up and brought myself to rights by the time I touched the doorknob. _Never two nights in a row._ _I committed to eight days—I will see her soon enough. _

I lit a match I had snagged from the waitress' purse pocket. I lit the edges of the documents I had checked over earlier and set them in the bin with the pink, collared dress. I exited Fangtasia with the lit can underneath my arm. I ignored my mind's alarms of the burning scent that clung so close to me. I found a carton of gasoline in the trunk of my car and poured it generously over the bin. The flames scorched the tips of my blond bunched hair. I was suddenly reminded of her glowing breasts, the hearth, and my covered feet—warmed from numb cold.

A stumbling red head dropped her keys a few spaces over. I caught them on their second bounce and caught her eyes. I was capable of finding my own kill--- _meal._ I corrected myself. My fangs sliced through, happily bathed in drunken blood. My human memories of nested cocks and warmed ale entered my consciousness. I was thrilled at her sated state, but my mind recalled the danger of allowing humans to leave my bar so drugged. _It seems it will be safer for the world if I drive home tonight._


	6. Chapter 6

_The characters belong to Charlaine Harris. This is __**SPOV**__._

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Six**

My week passed quickly with my head constantly focusing on Eric. You'd think it'd be the opposite, but I was always planning---always deciphering his emotions, and he was certainly responding in kind. His emotions went from want to need to anger to depression in the matter of minutes, but lately, these last few days he had become calm.

Sam had finally come home; he was exhausted, and obviously emotionally drained but he kissed my cheek and smiled enough to make me realize why I had been working so hard these last few weeks.

"I'll drop your check off as soon as I finish pay roll. I think I'm going to close the bar down for the month too---"

I started to protest but he seemed like he had something he wanted to say.

"I'm tired, Sookie. I thought I expected the hatred and discrimination but I guess with people like you, we forget sometimes. It just makes you worth more to us than ever."

"But closing the bar will be like giving up. Letting them win."

"I want to be more active in the supe community, Sookie. I'm going to take this month to further the cause and put myself in an active position. And don't worry about the money, Sook—you deserve some vacation time, and I'll make sure you're time off is taken care of."

I was shocked that he wanted a real role in the community. It seemed odd, but maybe everything would come together. I caught up with the silent moment.

"No, Sam. I'm fine—I think Eric has a couple of jobs for me to take care of anyways. Just let me know if you need any help with anything."

"Thanks for understanding, if anybody would, I knew it would be you."

He hugged me tight and whispered in my ear, "I'm jealous that he gets to be the one to keep you."

My body went stiff automatically. Even he knew where I wanted to be—who I wanted to be with, who I saw when my eyes closed. When I saw him, I would lay it all out on the table. I was sick of playing mind games.

The next day, the day Eric and I would reunite, Claudine popped by (emphasis on the pop). I was already soaking in the bath, careful to not remind him of anything but myself tonight, I didn't add anything, so the water was clear, no bubblies, no oils. Pure Sookie essence. I had been planning a good pleasure ride before I started to prepare myself for his viewing when she made her presence known. At first, I was shocked and reached for my breasts and crossed my legs tightly… but fairies like all other supes were very comfortable with nudity.

"Is there danger I should be aware of?"

"It's not imminent," she seemed calm so I took it at face value. I reached for the faucet to dump more warm water around me. I had a feeling she had something she needed to say. I waited for her to gather her thoughts but she seemed to know what she wanted to say; she was more preoccupied with her sitting situation. She decided to hover in the air—wrapping her legs in Indian style.

"I thought you had a while 'til you got your wings."

"The wings are both literal and figurative by what they represent. Faes are gifted in several levels of supernatural gifts."

"But not telepathy."

"Correct."

"So the danger?"

"Well, some things should be said first of all," I waited for her to spit it out—until then I decided to relax and let her guide the conversation in the rocky direction.

"Yes--- well, you should know that your one-eighth fairy content is only superficial," I stared at her blankly, waiting for her to get to the point—it was obvious I would not catch on until she said what she actually meant.

"You may have the eighth of fairy blood, but because of your telepathic skills, friendships, bonding, and sexual escapades. You have the strength and abilities of a stronger fairy."

"Sexual escapades," I was already angry before she was allowed to explain. I felt as if I was being berated by one of the Bon Temps priests.

"Sex is a very important aspect of the fey life—no matter who you choose to partake with."

I took the moment of comfortable silence to read between the lines. My telepathy gave me some form of magical essence, one that Niall hadn't totally deciphered. It was obviously a genetic quirk, so some part of my blood had important connections to something that I was somehow aware hadn't been totally tapped into. My friendships with several species and protectors were a fey aspect because almost everyone except vampires (for uncontrollable reasons) admired and respected the fey. Also, Amelia had been giving me round-the-clock teas, which I was starting to think had some form of enhancement though I was too afraid to confront her thoughts about it. The bonding was self-explanatory. My experiences in Rhodes alone spoke for my stronger senses and if it helped strengthen my telepathic blood, could it do that with my fey bloodline? And the sexual escapades? Bill, Eric, Quinn, and Peter Pardloe.

I felt dirty all of a sudden. If I was so fey then why did this shame coat my clean skin? So what does this mean?

"I think there's something you're leaving out."

"Isn't there always, Sookie? Just because fate exists doesn't mean that I'm allowed to reveal the storyline, you're supposed to trust yourself to find it."

"I have a fate," it wasn't a question, more of a reassurance and a thought process. I had learned to trust most of the supes around me. They knew what was what and I was starting to be smart enough not to ask questions.

"Of course, I mean, I don't know all of the details but I am here to give you the limited guidance permited."

"And that would be?"

"First of all, drink this," she turned on the faucet and filled my cup (usually used for teeth-brushing situations) with tap water. She poured a dark green powder into the cup and then swirled the handle of my toothbrush through it.

"Well, aren't you practical?"

She ignored my comment and simply ordered, "Drink."

"What is it?"

She rolled her eyes but answered nonetheless, "It's an elixir—it will simply bring your fey qualities to the surface, so we won't have to wait for you to discover them—or learn them. You're in too much danger to be patient for everything to reveal itself."

The way her eyes darted around the room when she said danger, made me choke down the water that had now turned to syrup.

"Danger?"

"Yes, of course, well, you're always in danger—we both know that. But Niall's enemies have become more aware of your presence due to Rhodes and the bonding. You know the supe world talks."

I didn't, but couldn't help but find the irony in the fact that a group who lived on the promises of secrecy thrived on gossip.

"And you're coming to me now?"

"Well, like I said nothing is imminent. I just thought you should be aware."

"Aware? You say this as if I-110 has changed the speed limit or I have an overdue book fine. What the hell, Claudine? And that potion, now everybody's going to be aware of my fey bloodline--" On that note, I suddenly remembered my life purpose. Eric. "What about Eric? Is he going to be able to tolerate me? This could kill our relationship."

"On the contrary, this'll keep you on his mind even more. You'll be irresistible."

"Yes—for some reason I don't find that comforting."

"You're his bonded, Sookie. Even if he hasn't realized it, you have a huge significance in his life."

"I do? How do you know, and what do you mean he hasn't realized it?"

"Sookie. Keep up. Fate, remember? And he's not here, is he? It's obvious your sexual escapades as of late are indicating that someone's not putting his wishstick to work."

I couldn't help but giggle at her terminology but then realized she was remarking on my masturbation habits and I was suddenly horrified.

"And as for the danger—it's not imminent. But I would like you to come stay with me for a couple of weeks, it seems one of Niall's enemies will be in the area this month, and I'd like to take you to one of my favorite fae worlds to practice and strengthen your skills. "

I wasn't sure how to respond. What was more significant--- someone dangerous would be around to kill me soon or that I had been invited to a universe that only few knew of, let alone visited.

"I'll think about it—but Claudine, I'm getting cold, do you think you could let me get dressed. I'm meeting Eric tonight."

"Of course. Just call when you decide, but I'm sure you will do what's right," she took my towel off the rack and rubbed if on herself, as if she was the one that was wet. I stood up to reach her outstretched hand. My nudity hadn't even occurred to me. I didn't want to think whether this was because of Eric, my fey bloodline, or my sexual prowess. She handed me the towel, winked, and disappeared.

I decided to use the towel—very aware of how this could kick my night up a notch. But she was my fairy godmother, how much could it hurt?

_Sorry—I know this seems slow—as if we're not going anywhere…but I really want to build a concise story and cover all bases to get us back to Chapter one. Also, we have a six month time line so you can see that this may take awhile… granted I'll throw weeks away at a time (acknowledge above chapter). Thanks for keeping up---I might get one more out tomorrow before I have to get back to school work. _


	7. Chapter 7

_Yay! One more out! Hope this will keep you going. And thank you for all of your reviews of support, sometimes I get a bit anxious when I see fanfictions with crazy amounts of reviews and less story than mine.. But I love my readership, so thanks for sticking with me! I want to apologize for the typos last chapter…I think I'm usually more careful but I really wanted to get it out. This is __**third person—all knowing.**_

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter Seven**

The brawl started too quickly for her human eyes to follow, but something instinctual whether it was the fairy concoction or the bond, moved her out of the way. Her back was against the wall watching his golden blond hair weave between punches and stabs. "_Some fairy godmother," she thought._

The night had barely started when chaos had developed. Sookie arrived five minutes before eight to a growling Pam at the door. The line was especially long for a Tuesday night.

"Unless you have something to offer, sluts, stand back. Find an escort to bring you inside—otherwise we don't want your white trash blood."

"I believe that could be considered racism, Pam."

"Sookie," her o's were elongated as her tongue curved around her maker's bonded's name. Her fangs ran down before she even realized how turned on she was. Sookie wasn't her type—too innocent for her taste, but perhaps that was changing, literally, Sookie tasted fabulous.

And that was the OhShit! Moment. Instead of smelling Sookie, dipping her head beneath the frizzy curls and inhaling, her teeth had dragged along the pulsating neck, and sliced through the layer of skin. Not enough to harm the young human but enough to let the blood droplets drip.

Pam stiffened as she realized the danger about to ensue. She called to her maker, ignoring the punishment she would receive later in the evening. Sookie's gasp finally escaped her mouth, which made Pam sure Eric would arrive within' seconds. He was always panicking over his human's feelings. Pam's elbow made contact with a usual's throat, stopping him before his nails dug into the girl's torso. From there, the fangbangers had realized what was going on—and began to scream.

Sookie had moved against the wall, and Pam caught her eye as she twisted the neck of a hungry female that Pam had never met. The loaded stare had so much said that Pam could push her hunger back into her consciousness she could resist the taste that coated her mouth. _If she could be so satisfied by a lick, how would taking the girl in quantity, leave her? _

Eric's feral growl made Pam momentarily freeze, shaking the thought from her head. He had come weaponless, and she knew from past history that he would make this a game more than a battle. He ducked a blow directed at him as he was standing between the enemy and his bonded. He allowed the young vampire to pull a chunk of flesh from his stomach, gain a bit of confidence, and then Eric ripped his arm from his shoulder—the tendons whipped a spray of blood against his baby blue t-shirt.

Sookie fought control over her body as she watched her two saviors take dominance over the situation. The thoughts of panic made her exhausted immediately, but what frightened her more was the buzz of Eric's mind and Pam's calculated thought. She couldn't hear everything, but the impressions came clear. She focused on a black haired vampire heading towards her. She could still tell that the woman was young, and had been turned within' the last three years. It surprised her how she had honed in on age just by outward appearance. _So sweet, the best thing I've ever smelled…must have…damn this pressure…oh my head… what the…_

Sookie looked up to find the vampire headless and Eric grasping at her hand. She didn't have enough time to evaluate the vampire's awareness of her invading mind. She wondered if Eric could sense her focus, earlier.

"Unless you want to be dead---you will bow before me immediately. This human is under formal protection of King Felipe—if you were strong enough to control your hunger, your position tonight would be more comfortable."

Sookie was still in shock from her mind invasion, but she started to follow a checklist of what was important at the moment. She banked her emotions, making sure Eric couldn't tap into the fear and anxiety she was feeling. She was too worn to exchange more comfortable emotions. She mentally checked Eric, he was in some pain but too excited over the events to rest. She examined the bond—he was proud. She had to take another second and think about that concept again. She remembered her place physically and looked around to find vampires, including Pam, bowing before the two of them.

"Pam—can you control yourself enough to chain those alive in the basement?"

"Of course, Master," she was insulted, and his tone stung. She hadn't pissed him off this much since she had fucked two of Eric's maker's meals in the late eighteen hundreds, subjecting him to ample punishment. _What could she say? Everyone in her vampire lineage had good taste in both turning and feeding._

"Send Fellicia out to clean up this mess—and get Clancy, where the fuck is he? Find him. And have him glamour the fangbangers still conscious."

He didn't wait for her response but took his bonded into his arms and ran to the office. He was furious. Sookie knew this and allowed her fright to slip through the bond, it was the only way she could think to remind him that she was human. His hand was grasping her arm and she could somehow feel the blood flow slow as it stopped passing through the veins in her hand. He could hear her panting from the duress on her heart and let go.

"Sit," he instructed stiffly, making sure she couldn't tell how turned on he was. Her smell made a fog over his thought process, stopping him from immediately yelling at her.

He could sense Pam bowed behind him, waiting for permission to speak.

"Yes?"

"It's done. What would you have me do?"

"Call Sandy. Let her know what happened and that I will need to make a report when she is available. Your punishment will take place after I have calculated the damage."

"Eric, it really wasn't her fault. It was a mistake," Sookie squealed out what she wanted to say before he could cut her off.

"Silence, woman!"

"It's okay, Sookie, you tasted exquisite, it was worth everything."

The crack as Pam's nose broke surprised her. She hadn't ever remembered such open hostility. She cowered away from her master, even though she was horrified that she would be so submissive before a human. Sookie's choked sobs were the only thing that stopped her master from allowing his foot to make contact with her ribs.

"Go now."

Pam did not allow herself to rise to full height, or look at Sookie. She exited with as much pride as she could spare.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Sookie? Coming here after contact with a fairy. You're so lucky it was Pam that found you first."

"I'm sorry—I didn't even think about the smell affecting anyone. I was so stupid," she allowed herself a few sobs before looking up at him to gage how well the lie passed. He seemed unaffected. His rage had quieted to anger. He kneeled next to her to have his eyes keep even contact with hers.

"Did the fairy come by for a reason?"

Her proximity made his mind swirl and his cock swell. He wasn't sure how much longer he could last. She felt his dizziness and mistook it for the aftereffects of his wounds. She shook her head.

"She just wanted to check on me. Let me feed you."

"This is nothing. I've set up a job with Alcide in two weeks—you'll need to pack a bag and stop at Tara's. Alcide set up an account."

"It's the least I can do—I'm sure we would've gotten to this sooner or later. Please," he questioned her silently and she nodded.

"No sex though, I think we still have things to talk about."

He hadn't realized his hand was already cupped around her breast while licking her wrist. He dropped his hand and crooked his head at an angle that would make the bite the least painful. She exhaled as his fangs made contact. The sudden sweetness overwhelmed him. To him, she was perfect, as if she had been mixed specifically to what he had been looking for over ages. His moan echoed hers as he kept sucking past his normal need."_I was injured,"_ he reminded himself.

He reached underneath her dress and freed her from the garters and underwear. He let go of her wrist and made contact with the soft spot by her collar bone. She squealed and slipped lower on the couch. Without stopping sucking from her, he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled himself out. He leaned over her and positioned himself, he was surprised by the feeling of pantyhose hugging his engorged member.

"Please, Eric, I'm not ready, no, not like…"

She mumbled her last words and fainted beneath him. The blood flow had slowed even though he had unconsciously moved to a new spot on her neck. He disengaged, the pain of her suffering finally catching up with his deflating member. He panicked as much as a vampire could. He subjected his anger, directed at himself, to the back of his mind. _How could he risk putting her in just as much danger as earlier? Felipe would have him killed if he ever found out._

He poured the True Blood down her throat, being careful to flex her neck in the right way that it would reach her stomach.

"Sookie, Sookie, wake up," he knew she was not going to die, but he was strangely nervous nonetheless. The emotion was gone as soon as he had recognized it. He did not risk giving her his blood, unsure of how her fey-rich blood would respond to the dilution. He wouldn't go there until he was sure she was healthy.

"Sookie," he growled, letting his anger wash his vocal cords in a harsh demand.

Her eyes fluttered open and she took all of him in. There was a part of her that was afraid, and she knew that he could feel this, but she did not move out of his arms. She just kept him in her eyesight while deciding whether or not to dampen her feelings. She didn't want to alert him to her factors of control.

"It was more than just a hug wasn't it?"

Her head flopped forward but she didn't have the strength to raise it again. She hoped he would get her intention.

He raised her chin, the full weight of her head resting on the crook of his finger.

"I could have killed you."

"I would die for you," the weight of her words, especially laying on nothing more than a whisper hit him hard.

"I love you."

And there it was, the statement he knew she would say eventually. His constant sarcasm and practiced lips were no match for human emotion, and he could feel that she was not lying. She really did love him. There was no place in him that warmed to her words. All he could think about was Felipe, how much of a risk she was to his survival, and how badly he wanted to fuck her.

"There is no sense in that. I will be here forever; you should treasure your mortality."

She knew that he was referring to her declaration of love and not her mortality when he questioned her sensibility. The near rape did not bother her. She should've been troubled by it but she was comfortable with being what he needed her to be. Her devotion to him was unwavering.

"You'll be prepared next time. You'll know not to take too much. I know you have been waiting for me all week, saving yourself for my taste."

He was shocked at her progression. Her fear had dampened and she was simply there beneath him, nothing there for him to read. Something about her submission irked him, where was the fight that he had loved so much? The Sookie he knew would be collapsing to the ground just trying to stand on her own two feet. She would be screaming at him, tears streaming down her face, but none the weaker.

He didn't know that her fight was totally divested in getting him to dig deeper. To feel the raw emotion that was worn on her sleeve.

"Drink."

She took the bottle and swallowed everything without making any type of face. He could see her as mentally weak, like a child, but physically, his cock had decided she was all woman. He wanted her so badly.

His anger fueled his dedication to giving her what she wanted. It was the first time he felt as if he wanted to owe fealty to anyone. An emotion, like the many he had around her, was unfamiliar. Guilt.

"I'm taking you home," he said as he kissed her forehead. She looked at him, her eyes begging for him to meet her lips but he couldn't give her that. He wouldn't. He held her underwear open so she could step into them. Her eyes didn't waver from his. He picked her up and carried her to her car, buckled her seat belt. He held her tender wrist lightly. He licked his fingers and massaged his saliva into her pores, repeating the routine on the other two wounds. He had never been so self-aware, so incapable. He drove her home, calling Amelia to come and get his sleeping bonded out of the car. He wouldn't go inside of the house haunted with memories. Not for awhile.

"I'll be here sometime in the next few days to make a report with Sandy," he said to Amelia. She nodded, and he could tell she wanted to ask what had happened. Amelia knew not to voice her curiosity.

When she had made it to her bed, she was too weak to figure out her next plan to get him back. She thought she had gotten somewhere tonight, fingering her dampened dress. She didn't have the energy to remove it—and wouldn't let Amelia try. Instead she fell back asleep, only to be awoken by Amelia every couple of hours with a blend of tea and true blood. Her body was too tired to gag on the bitter liquid. She would find the energy to plan her next move tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter Eight**

**EPOV**

There was a part of me that wanted to meet the sun. I had never understood the emo children who came and left my bar begging for pain. I once had a girl, not yet seventeen, slip past my throne to my office. I had noticed her, and had a feeling Clancy had allowed it—some form of sexual favor had left him blind. I followed her, intrigued at the girl who could force my submissive to ignore his oncoming days of thirst and cuts doused with alcohol. Perhaps even a near draining. I found her splayed naked on my desk, the way I always envisioned Sookie when I most wanted her.

"I've never wanted someone more in my life."

Her age did not bother me. In my humanity, girls were rarely virgins at her age; usually children were nesting on their hips. It didn't seem worth commenting on, that vampires were commonly turned in that spectrum. The word taboo really didn't hold weight in my life.

"Considering you shouldn't be in my bar—that's not saying much."

She brought the curves of her feet to rest on the edge of the desk, opening her lips to me. I knew her smell was filtering out into the bar. My fangs ran down.

"Please," she moaned and I brought my hands to my waist.

"Don't you want to taste me first?"

"I'd prefer you as dessert."

"I thought I was the one in charge."

I liked her up front attitude—this was nothing more than what it was. I looked for her eyes; she was consciously looking just past my face.

"No anesthesia," she licked her lips and rolled her head back. My brain took a moment to regroup—only the few vampires I had engaged with wanted me to penetrate them without any form of pleasure.

"Get out," I was disgusted, and refused her the pain she wanted so badly. I couldn't even physically throw her out because that was what she wanted. What she asked of me. I called my child.

"Gently, please."

I was relieved when my memories returned. I was relieved to realize that during my time with her, I had always been as gentle as I could. Making sure she was too overwhelmed with some feeling before inflicting the pain those fucked up children desired. After tonight, I understood those successful people who crawled before me to feel the sole of my boot. I had no one to beg for my punishment to shame me for my cruelty.

My maker held me on a tight leash. It was rare for a straight male to turn another but he enjoyed my passion for fighting. We butted heads as stubborn people do but I was faithfully loyal, and his punishments were faithfully stripping. I wanted him to call me so badly—to give him a reason to be angry with me, but that would just put my bonded at risk, and throw away hundreds of years of back breaking effort.

I wished my sleep could be restless but I woke as I usually did, hungry and hard. The only way I could think to punish myself was to live through my misery—to do as I usually did, and accept what I did not deserve so I fed and I fucked. Pam waited for me at the back door of the bar—her nose had healed, but she had not eaten. She knew her place. This would go easier if she complied.

I was not a master that hardened during torture. So I went through the steps as I would any other being. I did not care that she was my child. I finished the last lashes and sprinkled flakes of silver in the crevices. I would leave her in that position, until the next evening.

Sandy was in my office when I walked up the stairs through the closet door that hid my basement.

"Make yourself comfortable," I sneered.

"I have most of the report in order; I just need to speak with the telepath."

"Miss Stackhouse."

She raised her eyebrows but gave a sharp nod to indicate she had received my message. I stripped out of my blood stained shirt, taking a white long sleeved button up out of the mini closet adjacent to my desk chair. I unhooked a set of keys off of the panel.

"We'll take my car."

I swished the keys held between my fingertips and we were on our way. I liked that Sandy never spoke, it was calming. Something I was always aware of. She didn't get to her place by being obliging. I pulled up to the front of her house, knowing she would not welcome Sandy as a friend. I knocked.

Amelia opened the door and thought for a few seconds before saying anything.

"Eric."

She was still upset about the other night. I didn't believe she had a right to be. It wasn't important to her what went on between Sookie and me.

"We need to see her; she's aware."

I stepped into the living room, even though all of my senses told me I was unwelcome.

"Sandy, please come in." I said pointedly while looking at Amelia.

Sandy followed and took a good look around. Amelia headed back towards the bedroom. A few moments later she returned, her face unreadable.

"Eric. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

I was frustrated with my bonded. She knew that I was a subordinate in this situation, was she really not going to follow along with the vampire politics in this moment? I followed the witch back to the bedroom, and spoke.

"What is this about," my voice echoed my anger at the closed bathroom door.

"She's not here."

"What was that witch?"

"I have no idea where she is… I gave her a blood two hours ago, but went to shower and then you came---"

Sure enough her hair was wet. Her breathing had picked up over either worry over my reaction or the location of my bonded. I listened for other noises but her heart was the only one beating nearby. I searched the bond but nothing was there. Again, I looked for the faint buzzing but all that existed was the distant memory of her fear and pain the night before. _Was she dead? No, you would know._

I thought on what to tell Sandy. Something neutral—but believable. I needed to be in control yet subordinate. There's nothing to worry about. I returned to the living room.

"It seems Miss Stackhouse has had trouble recuperating from the tough night. She has decided to take a short vacation time, as her shifter has closed for a while."

Sandy did not move a muscle, and I kept her gaze. The shifter had informed me of the impromptu break—confirming that Sookie would have some opportunities in the supe world to line her pockets.

"You know better than to waste my time, Sheriff. Perhaps, you should keep a better eye on your minions?"

"Of course, Sandy. Let me get you back to your car."

My mind sorted all of the places she could be. I took inventory of her bedroom—nothing was missing that I could see right away. There were no odd smells in the house. I thought of the areas I would look for her first, tapping into the blood. I could not feel her but finding her was natural even before the bond. Comptons, Tara's, Jason's, The Shifters. All were empty of my lover. The peace that waked the exit of Sookie made me feel that something, I was unsure of what, was wrong.


	9. Chapter 9

_I squeezed one more in for y'all this weekend! Don't say I never gave you anything! Hope you enjoy! Also, the characters belong to Charlaine Harris---and the lamb line—Stephanie Meyer—I couldn't resist… it is one of my favorite quotes._

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Nine**

SPOV

I stumbled into the house, a chunk of my jeans from knee to thigh missing. I felt as if I was one of those eighties girls wearing the exercise socks, just with denim instead. Subconsciously, I knew my breast was exposed, but it really didn't matter.

I knew I had noticed Amelia and Octavia hovering in the kitchen, and could see Amelia was on the phone. I heard her side of the conversation, but what I processed, well, it didn't matter, or at least if it did, I didn't know it.

"Oh Shit. She just walked in---what, I don't know---I don't see any blood, but if you can feel that something's not right--you really should come and see yourself. Sookie? Sookie?"

I walked past her and opened up the cutlery drawer next to the refrigerator. I pulled out the sharpest blade I could find, and held it downwards, aware enough not to pose danger to anyone else.

"Sookie… Sookie, what the hell are you doing?"

I slammed my bathroom door and flipped the lock. I didn't need anyone to tell me how dead my eyes were. I was aware of my exhaustion, my need for some form of comfort. I knew he would feel everything flowing through me. I didn't have anything left in me to control myself.

"Open this fucking door right now; I'm not kidding around, Sookie."

I turned on the faucet to drive out the pitch of her screaming—or maybe my choking sobs. I wasn't sure. I thought I heard her say something to Octavia but I wasn't sure. I braced myself for the smell of magic but nothing polluted the humid air around me. I pulled my hair out of its ponytail, in the process my neck flopped backwards at my strong jerk. I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there when I noticed the mirror had fogged up. I used my arm to clean the thick layer of water off the glass, but couldn't take my eyes away from the unhealed gash across my wrist.

Some part of me heard the doorknob separate from the door, and then the complete rip of the wood. It was hours later before I thought, _"there goes another one."_ I lifted my eyes to meet his in the mirror. I grasped the stained hair between my palms and tilted my head to the side to alleviate the pressure. My other hand held the knife to the strands and continued to saw. I had to give him some form of credit for not looking away as I took away at least four years of memories, stained with true blood, my blood, tears, and shame. He didn't even look down at my naked breast when I completed the task and turned around to meet his gaze without any interventions.

Amelia gasped as she saw the whole consistency of my injuries. "_What was it that bothered her_," I wondered. Did she know he had made the three red gashes randomly interrupting the blemished blue, green, yellow, black, and white skin? Eric looked away from my gaze and took Amelia's waist between his palms. Out of the corner of his eye, I knew from his arousal, that he saw me undressing. He pivoted her body so she couldn't examine me further.

"Leave us."

She looked to me, unsure if this is what I wanted--If this was the right thing to do at that moment. Seeing me fully naked, she looked away. Something in me knew that it wasn't because of modesty; it was because she physically could not stomach the sight of me. She walked away, not because of assent to Eric's command, but because of her need for comfort. I knew she would call Trey if Octavia could not provide her with some form of distraction.

I bent over and turned on the shower. I did not care that he saw my body, unclean, unwashed, unshaved. If he hadn't wanted me up until this point, I hardly thought this would be the factor that would prevent him from ever changing his mind. Or maybe, in that moment, I didn't care. He held me back before I stepped into the water, sticking his hand beneath the raining water, gauging the temperature through his other icy hand clinging to my thigh. He let me go and I tried to lift my knee above the edge of the tub, unsuccessfully. His dampened emotions I felt through the bond did not change as he lifted me over the ceramic and I flexed my toes to stand balanced again.

I raked my fingernails along the white trail that stood between the bruises. The pain felt better than the dull ache of the recent memories and the tender bruises that covered every inch of me.

"Stop it," he said. I had forgotten for a moment that he could feel me. I was sure he could see me through the translucent shower curtain, but there wasn't any lust coming across. There was a part of me that wanted to beg him to fuck me sweetly. I wanted him to make me believe that he cared which he didn't. I wanted him to glamour me and tell me that he returned the sentiments of what I had said so clearly. But these two weeks, as long as they felt, did not pass more than a second since I had uttered those words.

"What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Really? Are we going to do this? Tell me, Sookie."

"What are you talking about?"

"Who took you? Where have you been? What made them let you go? Why didn't you call me?"

My mind flickered over the doubt. Should I tell him the truth? Why did I feel as if I couldn't trust him? And then there was the reminder of the factor of the near rape. I wasn't afraid of him. This wasn't the same thing as Bill. I knew it was a part of vampire nature, the bloodlust. With Bill, I could not forgive the mask, the betrayal without an ounce of unselfish remorse. They weren't the same thing—and never would be. Did I have the strength to allow every ounce of humanity to be ripped from my flesh?

I was foolish to give so much of me up. I realized that I was a teenager caught up in a love story. To think that the lion would fall in love with the lamb, and the lamb would survive—to think that his nature would change with my 27 year old mind games. I would be willing to do what he needed. I would die for him, but I will not allow myself anymore false hopes. All of this I had figured out on my time away, but with him, there, his emotions flowing through mine. It didn't seem as simple as I had prayed it would be.

"I didn't have my cell phone."

"You know that wasn't what I meant."

"No one took me, Eric. I needed some time to myself. I'm back in time for the summit."

"And you came back in tip top shape I see. What did you do a little hand to hand combat on your vacay?"

He was angry now. Furious. I slipped down to the bottom of the shower—allowing my shampoo to drip down past my already stinging eyes. I didn't need to tell him everything. I didn't need to tell him the force it took to batter my human body through the numerous portals to multi-colored swirling skies. I didn't need to tell him the time I spent crying at her feet, resisting any form of touch or healing power. I didn't need to tell him that my fairy blood could not prevent the wear and tear of my body--that I was hanging so loosely between sleep walking and death.

"I was training with Claudine in the fey world."

"Training for what? You couldn't have told me—why not here?"

"I didn't think you would notice. She seemed to think that I could be in danger over the last few weeks, so she decided to take me away for a little while."

"Danger—Danger from whom? And she left you in this condition? It is your responsibility to tell me these things. Just because you are Niall's granddaughter does not mean that I, as your bonded, do not matter. I am your protector. I am responsible for you. My fate lies in your fate."

"Get over yourself, Eric, I'm fine, I'm here as you wanted me, on time." I stood up and reached out for a towel and found him inches from my chest. He took a towel off the rack and moved towards me to pat me down. I screamed out at the first point of pressure and he flung back doubling over from the pain he felt from me. He emitted a growl, and came within' inches of my neck.

"I would never allow you to be in this condition."

"Just a few bruises less?"

"Don't make this out to be the same thing. We both know what that was."

I met his gaze, commanding me to disagree. I nodded.

"Stay there—I'm getting your things. Put this on," he handed me a robe and left through the broken doorway.

"Where are we going," I called out. He was within' inches of my face again, duffle bag hanging from his arm, and pressing a speed dial key on his telephone.

"You are coming to my home; I need you at the Summit. A payment has already been promised to Felipe and I will not risk letting you out of my sight, again."

He shook the robe around my shoulders but I was too weak to raise my arms into the sleeves. He seemed to realize this and I could hear him murmuring into his phone.

"Pam—call Dr. Ludwig and have her meet me at Caroline. Does this seem a time for questions? Go to that boutique of yours and find something for Sookie—I don't care if you have to wake up the gods—find something suitable for the Summit. I will meet you at Caroline in forty-five minutes."

"Food," I interjected.

"Pick up something from Wendy's."

He clapped the phone shut and examined me for a suitable way to pick me up.

"This is going to hurt," he warned as he grasped me in the same place when he had raised me into the shower. Suddenly, I was no longer numb. He groaned with my agony and with a sharp pain to the back of my head everything went dark.


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry this took a long time. I was distracted with school and other fabulous Sookie/Eric stories. For those of my readers who want to slay Eric, I hope this will be some form of a relief. It's been so long since I've written that it seems my Eric tone may have slipped, but I was intending for this to be a turning point of some sorts in my sketch, so that's all the better. I'm hoping to get one more out later this week but we'll see! _

_The characters belong to Charlaine Harris._

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter Ten: **_EPOV_

I was eager to knock her out—the more practical choice—but I didn't take pleasure in it—somehow, with all the anger pulsing through me, the self hate, I thought it would be a relief. I haven't felt long term pain, and muscle ache since the years of my humanity, and when I noticed her pain it seemed to linger even longer.

I would not bring her to my home—my nest. I had learned when a woman was sated with this much emotion—and there was a lot there; she usually took it out on the one who wouldn't support her habit. _Meaning me._ Usually, I didn't let it get to this point—however—with Sookie—she was more determined than most humans, and there were too many strings attached for me to take the risk of cutting her off.

Her hair: I know I should've looked away when she took the shards to her neck—or even for that matter jerked the sharp object away, which could have potentially ended her life. It was hard to imagine her without something that was such a part of her to be gone. It was her hair I noticed before her smell, supple skin, and heaving chest. Weeks after we sharedblood, her hair would glow my highlights and I would take glee in knowing what others only needed moments to realize. She was mine.

These days apart had been difficult—I was always aware of the missing pulsing, unlike I had ever been before, and for some reason, it seemed that this was common, but it bothered me that I hadn't noticed it before. My evenings followed a routine; I would call Amelia, check in with Pam, drive to her home, and then return to Fangtasia. I felt the stressful pull on my mind of the days when Hallow's curse had just been broken; as if there was something missing that I was unaware of, but now that she was here, placed where I wanted her—it seemed ordinary--as if nothing had manifested itself in my mind.

The only minor pain I felt through the bond was the reminder of my tough week. I had been teleconferencing with Felipe randomly—and he was always asking of "Miss—Stack HAUS". Sandy decided this was the time to make drop-ins and expected one-on-one attention--not to mention the stress of the arrival and departure of my maker. It did not miss my attention that she had gone missing when he had arrived, when I was kissing his ass.

We pulled up to Caroline and I lifted her out of her seat, passing her to Pam's arms while I did a quick survey of the property. I hadn't been here but once or twice before and needed to formulate a plan for our evening. I took a towel from the bathroom off the foyer and laid it across the kitchen tiles. I placed a bar stool on top of the towel, but decided to swap it for a stool with a backing. I thought about calling Niall and decided against it—he had permitted this amount of damage in the first place.

"I don't think she'll…" Pam interrupted my train of thought and I analyzed her face which seemed to be doing the same with me. I searched my child's purposes, checking the maker/child bond.

"She'll be ready for the Were summit. Besides, it is not your ass if she does not."

Pam nodded curtly, and started to place Sookie onto the couch; I stopped her, "I did not say you could put her down. Are your arms tired?"

The sarcasm was not lost on her and she looked down ashamed. A part of me regretted my sharp words but there was no place for weakness not in this point of my life. I clambered through all the cupboards without luck of finding what I wanted. I found a set of wine glasses below the sink—_who—in god's name—would put those there?_ I took a razor from the side of my Boot and drew a line across my wrist. The surge of pain was comforting from the dull ache I felt from my Bonded. I squeezed the tendons to get as much out as I could and started a new flow from my right wrist. With half an inch left between the rim of the glass and my blood, I sipped. I opened the freezer and took out two ice cubes. I dropped them in the glass, and swirled it forcing the clear glass to be coated red.

I waited a couple of minutes for the ice cubes to thin my blood, and seem more pleasant for her. I willed consciousness through the bond. "Sookie," I tried to balance the correct ratio of authority and care in my voice. "Sookie, my lover, I need you to wake up."

There was no reason for her to know that she hadn't just slumped to sleep. I rubbed the pads of my cold fingers under her eyes and breathed a cool pant across her face. Her eyes fluttered until they locked in mine. She tensed for a moment, realizing she wasn't in my arms but seemed to realize she was safe without looking to see it was my child. "I need you to drink this and keep it down; can you do that for me?"

She nodded without looking at the glass. I brought the chalice up to her lips, interrupting her sightline and she pressed herself away from me, into Pam's chest. She shook her head like a small girl resistant of the cough syrup her mother offered. "Sookie…" I pressed the cold glass harder against her lips and begged compliance through the bond.

"It'll be better if you do it quickly," Pam suggested. I met her gaze and nodded to her and allowed her a silent appreciation.

I held the glass for her until she had taken in all of the liquid. "Swallow."

She followed my instructions. I put a straw up to her mouth and felt her shudder through the bond before I saw her body do it physically.

"Don't worry—it's—"

"Sprite," Pam finished my sentence for me. Sookie took a sip, swished the fluid around and then rested her head on the crook of Pam's shoulder.

I heard a sharp rap against the back door and was reminded of Dr. Ludwig's presence of Pam.

"Pam and I are going to talk; do you think you can eat your Wendy's? We'll just be in the next room."

She nodded and Pam followed my silent instructions to sit her at the bar. I waited for Pam to join me, gathering my thoughts as my patience dwindled. I went to let the woman in and told her to peek around the corner at my bonded chewing through her burger.

"Do you have any idea how she came to this condition," she asked, not alarmed, but perturbed. I had a feeling she was leery of working on humans but was too well paid to say anything.

"She's spent a week in the fae realm and I gave her a quart or so of my blood—we're bonded."

"A week," she questioned me incredulously.

"Yes, is this significant? She's an eighth fae."

"Even if she were a fourth fae, a week would be hard on the human body. She would not realize the majority of it there but movement in time and space is difficult on such a fragile being. However, I doubt the seriousness of her problem is only physical."

I gave her a look that indicated that was none of her business and she sorted through a small bag hanging off her shoulder.

"Bathe her in this and extremely warm water. Then spread this ointment over every inch of her skin—I assume you're willing to do this."

I nodded and took the powder tablets and tube, "What does it do?"

"You should trust me, Northman. It should encase her soul and heal her aura."

With that, she saw herself out, knowing what I expected and seeming uncomfortable with the situation.

"She looks—" Pam froze not sure if she should continue but I permitted her to finish her statement.

"She looks—as if she's a zombie. I don't know if there's anything left in her."

"Yes, I'm having difficulties deciding what the best way to fix her emotionally is," I couldn't think of anything or anyone to relieve her of this dull ache of emotional anxiety that was taking over the erased physical pain flowing freely though the bond.

"Perhaps, I should tend to her tonight?" Pam looked at me expectantly.

"No, No—I will not leave her alone," I placed the razor onto my child's extended palm, "I assume you can handle something sweet, innocent, yet sexy? She needs to go in there as if nothing has gone wrong, as the Sookie Stackhouse everyone has talked about."

"Of course."

I came back into the kitchen to find the meal nearly gone, only some fries still dangling from her fingers. At least it seemed Sookie's physical needs were tended to. I was overwhelmed by the need to do something, as if there was something that was meant to happen in this moment that would not reveal itself. As if the puzzle piece was hidden underneath the puzzle so I couldn't fill in the last hole.

"Pam's going to take care of you," her alarm, the first actual form of emotion in the whole night reached me, and I comforted her, "I'll be here the whole time."

I lifted her onto the stool in the middle of the kitchen, and watched Pam take her place behind Sookie. I leaned against the sink on the edge but still within' Sookie's sightline. I heard the minute pings of the back of Sookie's hair being sliced, dully. I felt something perched in my consciousness as if I was holding the trigger on a gun. I walked towards my bonded, noticing the blond wisps wafting through the air towards the floor when I heard her shriek. Her body caved over grabbing her stomach as the tidal wave of sadness brought me to my knees below her. I tried to find her eyes but the tears were almost cloudy with the emotion that was funneled through me.

"Eric," Pam whispered.

"Eric," Pam said louder.

"Eric," Pam shouted.

I looked away from my bonded's heaving body and realized the wetness rolling down my own cheeks. My pinstripe shirt had been tinted pink around the collar. I had no idea how much time had passed.

"You have to hold her, comfort her; I cannot do this while she flails. Human women must have physical contact and be soothed."

I was too distracted by the raging feelings of humiliation, pain, sadness, helplessness to understand my child. So, she took my arm and used it to stroke Sookie's upper arm. Pam moved my hand up and down the smooth skin until my hand followed the pace on its own. She took my other hand and used my fingertips to wipe away the salty water on Sookie's face. Immediately, I could think clearer. I saw the effect in the stillness of Sookie's body but also through the bond. I wrapped my arms around my bonded's waist because I was too timid to move during these critical minutes. I continued touching her, squeezing her. I stood up and somehow wrapped myself around her but still avoided Pam's razor.

A feeling of desperate peace flailed in the distance. Her body against mine felt natural and for a moment I felt myself give in—rested my head against her breast and lowered myself again until my head was in her lap again and let my fingers tenderly graze her back. This poor human had just seemed to grasp her humanity. She wouldn't have anyone to take care of her, not her brother, a friend, a parent, and because of me she wouldn't ever have another lover.

A sudden stillness alerted me to an open mouthed Pam. I looked up to see my bonded's eyes closed, hands locked in the tendrils of my hair. I gave my child directions for the preparations tomorrow and dismissed her. I let my head rest between my lover's legs for a few moments longer before standing up delicately. I didn't wish to push her further into uneasiness, again.

I lifted her into my arms and noticed that her positioning at the moment felt like more of a parent holding his child rather than anything erotic. I walked through the living room and peeked into the ground floor bedroom. I made a conscious decision that she would stay with me tonight—if she needed comfort, contact, I would give that to her willingly. It was the least I could do for her; after all we had put her through. _Since when did I put myself as the representative of our kind?_

I took her up stairs, my hand cradling her neck on my shoulder. I went through the master bedroom to the master bath. I set her feet on the floor and she started shaking violently and her terror took over my emotions. I tried to ascertain the danger but couldn't sense anything. "What is it my, my love?"

She found my face and wrapper herself around me again, lifting her knees and crawling up my body, trying to find her previous position. With a drop of an r, for her, everything had suddenly changed. I wouldn't grant myself the peace of mind that our relationship had pivoted, but who was I to hold away the only thing this suffering girl needed? I lifted her upwards, placing her where she wanted to be and cradled her while I turned on the bath, loosening my arm to feel for the appropriate temperature.

I started to peel off the robe that was still clinging to her shoulders, watching her face for any sudden reactions. She stayed still and allowed me to continue with my work. I took the tablets from my pocket and dropped them into the bath, which turned black immediately. I questioned myself on whether I should get in considering whatever the concentration of the water but couldn't risk her torment filling my body again.

I wriggled my feet out of my boots and stepped on each set of toes to pull off the thick socks that clung to my ankles. I was careful to ease her naked body into the water, feeling the water climbing up my jeans as I stepped in with her.

Her skin was still yellow but the darkness of the bruising had lightened. We would do a careful exchange tomorrow evening. I took a moment to sense how much time we had until dawn. Three hours was my best, and accurate guess. The steam rose around her naked breasts and I could feel myself harden. She was still pressed hard against me, so I loosened her to allow the treated water to surround her abdomen, thoroughly cleansing whatever needed to be done. Before she could whimper from the separation, I covered her lips with mine. I prompted her lips open and she gave in eagerly pressing herself against me once again.

My fingers lifted cupfuls of water and drenched areas of her shoulders and arms while I distracted her with my tongue. There was something relaxing about taking care of someone, other than myself. I could feel my fangs aching for release and was conscious that that wasn't the only thing that wanted to be free. As if she could sense my reluctance, she tried to free a button, but her fingers were too weak to loosen them. Without separating my lips from hers I lifted my shirt to my chin and then took my arm out of its sleeve, letting my hand graze her erect, sensitive nipple. She gasped, leaving me several free seconds to release myself from my shirt. Out of the corner of my eye I could see our bare bodies hovering together in the mirror's gaze.

My fangs extended; I couldn't hold them back longer. I allowed my tongue to coat her throat and naked chest while my hands fumbled with my soaked belt, finally making it to my jean's button. I shoved my jeans to my ankles and pressed her body against me so I could lull my head backwards and enjoy the lack of pressure. I felt her tongue doing lazy swipes at my collarbone and realized how tired she was. So I went to work, giving her what she needed. I felt her swollen lips and gave her a delicate graze of pleasure.

I nuzzle my face against hers, and slip myself into her, cupping her bottom to lift delicately at a slow tempo. I let the water shrink and swell around us and notice the color has lightened, and her skin has adopted a flush pink tint. Her whimpers become moans when I finger her clip and suck on her nipple. Her fairy scent is intoxicating and I try to concentrate on her face, her breathing, pressing my pleasure into hers.

I suddenly realize that I cannot bite, not now, but can also sense that her climax is reluctant. I press harder on her clit, but only get a small moan, nothing close to rewarding. She separates our bodies by not more than centimeters and searches my face. Her eyes colliding with mine make me swell even larger and I know that I have nothing more than seconds left. So I give her what she needs, "I love you, Sookie."

Her breath chokes in her throat as tears cling to her eyelashes. I can feel her muscles tight around me as a small squeal escapes and every pressure from the week finally relinquishes out of our heaving bodies. I stay inside her while she catches her breath, and see the tub has faded to a faint violet. The calm that has settled over the two of us is interrupted when I notice her prickled flesh and lift her off of me but hold her slumbering body.

I don't bother with the drain, instead bringing her to the bed, slipping her under the sheets and try to press the quilt tight around her so I can have a few moments to arrange things. She doesn't move and I exhale, knowing that this would amuse her if she were awake. I find the tube and hold it under hot water in the sink, trying to warm it up, while I sort other things out. I find a set of clothes for both of us, tomorrow. I close the light tight shades, and set the code for the house and the bedroom. I write a note just in case she wakes before me, and finally retrieve the lotion and start to rub it across her feet. I keep the rest of her covered for warmth as I focus on each pore of her skin. I manage to turn her over without waking her, and give myself a pat on the back. I am satisfied with my blood and Dr. Ludwig's work. _No one will suspect a thing._

A part of my brain nags me, demanding an explanation for my outburst. It wants to know why I am sleeping with a woman, consciously, for the first time in decades. I push it aside, demanding, for the first time in my lifetime, that the sun will come sooner.


	11. Chapter 11

_So I was thinking that it may help to have a review of the story so far:_

_Chapter One: Sookie goes through extreme measures to cut off the bond even though Eric pleads for her not to._

_Chapter Two: Eric returns to see Sookie months before Chapter One._

_Chapter Three: Eric has sex with Sookie even though he is confident that he doesn't have emotional feelings for Sookie._

_Chapter Four: Sookie knows that Eric has dismissed the possibilities of feelings for her. Sookie can control the bond though Eric is unaware of it. Sookie talks to Alcide about working at the Were Summit set to occur in three weeks. Sookie does all she can to keep Eric's mind on her, trying to make him realize what he could have with her._

_Chapter Five: Eric wakes up to Sookie's lust. He continues his day trying to sate himself but cannot find any way to please himself. Eric approves Sookie working at the Were summit._

_Chapter Six: Sookie goes to Fangtasia after having a liquid mixture meant to bring out all of her fae qualities. _

_Chapter Seven: She is attacked by Pam and then Eric cannot resist her after he saves her. He ends up almost draining her dry. Sookie declares her love when she wakes up and tells him she is willing to die for him._

_Chapter Eight: Eric's depressed and feels guilty over what happened with Sookie. He goes with Sandy to file a report but she is missing._

_Chapter Nine: Sookie returns bruised and injured worse than when Eric leaves her (admitting she has been in the fae realm). They argue about his position in her life and Niall. He takes her with him so they can go to the Were summit together._

_Chapter Ten: Eric tells Sookie that he loves her, but does not seem to mean it. He takes care of her by giving her blood and sleeps with her. _

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter Eleven, **_BPOV_

Niall.

He remembered entering the name into his database five weeks ago. Somehow, a collection, to bid the monotonous days, had become a network breaking down several different supe communities. He had learned by now to keep this to himself; there was no reason for anyone he loved to be hurt by his curiosity. Everyone knew that he loved her, unconditionally, and he would not let her come to risk because of his Technicolor world. So there he was, in a small room hidden behind the refrigerator. The walls were covered with panels of plasma screens, sensitive to his cold touch.

He had wanted to use his bedroom but decided that his best memories in this home were there, with her. So, how could he let something like a growing, priceless database, be the thing to stop another memory to be made there? She could, _**would**_, be back there in his arms, moaning underneath him. He shouldn't even be thinking that way. Just her, there, to keep him company, play scrabble, talk about her life, is enough for him.

His concentration was drawn back to the illuminated faces. There was the creature, under the disguise of a man he had seen at the Bellefleur wedding. Had she known all along—through their entire relationship? It was impossible. She wouldn't have hidden anything from him. Her trust issue may have existed before him because of what she heard, but she always gave everyone a chance. His guilt washed through him again. Could he be what Eric had said to her? Her grandfather? She hadn't disputed it.

He knew that Sookie could sense his presence around his home every night. Every night he (day?)dreamed about her coming out to confront him. He would give her some excuse—he had heard a howl under the full moon, news of a kidnapping in the area, anything. She would say that she knew when he was bullshitting her now, and if he still wanted her she would have him. She would tell him that she would never be able to forget but that she could forgive him. The dreams kept coming even after hearing her screams under Eric's manipulations.

He had wanted to run in there and save her, but he was smart enough to avoid that beating. He told himself that he didn't want to humiliate her, not that he couldn't bear to see her spreading her innocent body out as a feast for his sheriff. He was sure Eric could smell his arousal and release when he exited her home, but hadn't heard anything from the bastard since.

He had subconsciously brought her face to the center most screens and paired it next to fairy's face. He forced the screen into something he had never thought it would be—a family tree, her family tree. He looked at the faces below Niall's and tried to match similarities in bone structure to Sookie's glowing smile, pronounced cheek, symmetrical brows. Who was her father? Who did she belong to, certainly none of these fairies? She was his.

He knew he was hardening, but the idea of her blood rich in fairy, too rich for him to savor when they were together, made him want to go to her. It hurt him to leave her the night before, peering through her window at her naked body free to Eric's gaze. There was nothing sexual about it; she was in pain. He could tell from the swell of her cheeks, and their argument was vague. He was too caught up in how he would make Eric suffer to listen to them—but grandfather, that he caught. He knew Sookie's history and this certainly was not the storyline he had studied.

Bill brought up Niall's history. _The Prince._ Indeed. Bill brought up the fairy's talents—masking scent. The battles he had fought in, and continued to scroll down the list, aware that this was just as long or longer than Eric's interface. Underneath the wars and battles was one word: Enemies. The list, men of all supernatural worlds, numbered two or more for each battle or war Niall was involved in. Bill couldn't help but recognize that maybe she was destined for danger and that was why he was drawn to her. How long would it be until someone had put two and two together?

Obviously, Eric wasn't being too careful about who knew. Things were coming together, hours after he had heard the news. Claudine, the forces that would avenge Sookie's death the night of the takeover, her telepathy, everything finally made sense. Bill set the screens to sleep and moved everything back into place.

He showered his arousal away with a few tugs and dried at vampire speed. He knew if he hurried he could visit a donor before he arrived for security at the summit. She would be there. He adjusted himself underneath his khakis—maybe his donor wouldn't mind a bit of recreational fun with him. He hadn't been with anyone since Selah and the takeover. His dedication would appeal to her if he informed her, which he intended to do. He couldn't keep himself in check around Sookie—smooth-- if he didn't clear the pipes, as you will.

He was reaching for his car keys when something dawned on him. Enemies. He jerked the refrigerator out of its place ripping it from the socket. He banged on several more keys and scrolled down once again. Enemies. Fourth down from the list, chronological order, the man he hadn't known still existed until a run in at Fangtasia days before—looking for Eirikr, the man said in a thick accent, one that was too ancient and foreign for Bill to place. She _would_ be his again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Dead to Me: Chapter Twelve: **Friday Night of the Were Summit-- Eric and Sookie (all knowing)

He woke up with her arms and legs wrapped around him; her body was perfectly aligned for him to reenter her. She groaned and rubbed her face against his bare chest. His body was so attuned to her he could feel the feather wisps of hair along her face. He thought carefully about what to say versus what to do.

"I don't want to get up—I could stay like this forever," she said in a level voice but he knew how loaded her words were.

"I know a few orgasms could change your mind," Eric said and choked out a deep rumble. She giggled, her laughter allowed brushes of cold air to separate their bodies when her chest hovered.

"We don't have time for this," she said as she raised her body up but still keeping her pelvis dug into his. The pressure was so pleasant. He cupped her ass and pulled it towards him so they were smashed closer together. He rolled her so that she was beneath him and splayed his thighs so her legs were spread further apart. She groaned enough for him to fuck her mouth with his tongue. The kiss was anything but sensual, deep, promising something more.

"No, we don't," he said as he allowed his kiss to deepen one more time and then clasped his teeth around her lower lip dragging his fangs along the inside. Her lip finally snapped back. He gave her a chaste kiss while she pressed her pelvis upwards to mingle with his. He unwrapped himself and got up, moving to the bathroom to turn on the shower.

"You're such a tease," she called out to him, knowing he could hear her.

"Are we really going to go there," he sang dauntingly. She touched the insides of her folds.

"Sookie," he said both warning and reprimanding her.

"I was just deciding whether I needed to shower too. I don't feel like going through all that work—I don't need to do I?"

"You smell quite tame this evening and if we keep our hands to ourselves in the car, I'm sure we'll keep ourselves on track for the Were conferences tonight."

"You're coming with me," she asked in a shocked tone while getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom.

He stepped out of the shower and noticed her staring in the mirror, completely nude. He gives himself a quick tug to remind himself that this isn't the time.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight—I don't trust you with them. Now that I have you within—"

His voice peters out as he realizes that she isn't listening to him but staring at herself, distracted by something.

"My hair—"

It was hard for him to believe that she was more upset about it than he was.

"Do you not remember,"

"No," she lied carefully maintaining her force on the bond.

"Yes, well, Pam set it to rights… you seemed to think that cutting it off would be best. She did the same cut to herself a few months after I turned her—something about female independence and the damn hot English summers."

His mind was shortly distracted by his memory of Pam waking him in bed—expecting his reaction. She had kept herself up during the whole day to be there when he woke, with short hair. He remembered choking her—not recognizing her or expecting her in his bed before sunset. He remembered telling her if he wanted a boy he would have turned one and her immediate recoil.

"It will grow, lover, your face can pull anything off—let me help you."

She nodded and he left for a stool. He took a second longer to grab one of his shirts, knowing she was cold. He opened and slammed closed shelves below the sink searching and retrieving a curling iron. She sat on the stool and brought the collar to her nose and smelling his scent. She met his eyes in the mirror.

"Put it on," he said noticing the goosebumps and her hardened nipples. She did as he said while he plugged in the iron.

"When will I stop being surprised?"

Her voice was teasing but his eyes were focused on a blond tendril.

"You're cold," he said not looking up.

"I'll warm up with the iron and your shirt."

"Why can't I feel your cold through the bond? I've never had this problem with any others."

"Others," she asked but he ignored her attempt at adventuring on another tangent. A rush of cold took over him and he met her gaze in the mirror already focused on his face. He adjusted his face to an unemotional mask, unused to the sudden feelings.

"How long have you been able to control it? And hear my thoughts?"

He felt a small moment of shock but continued pulling the curls and shaping them around her face. Her emotions returned to the usual hum that hung in the background of his mind.

"Speak, Sookie."

Her fingernails were apparently engrossing. She spread her legs wide watching his eyes flicker to the space between them before she crossed them again. She felt the flicker of lust and then anger.

She decided to speak before he could say something else, "I wasn't sure about the bond until you came that night at Merlotte's. The first night we fucked," she said purposely trying to distract him but continued knowing he wanted everything, "and as for hearing you—it's only once in awhile, right after we exchange blood. How did you know?"

He searched her face knowing he couldn't trust the honesty invading the bond. "So you know what happened last night," he asked. His mind shuffled through a slideshow of every moment during the night before.

"I do, now."

He met her eyes.

"I can feel the pressure—I guess you would call it a dull headache."

She nodded.

"Can you hear others," he asked.

"Sometimes, but I'm not sure all the time—I haven't been around them immediately after taking your blood except during Rhodes—" she heard his silent question, "the vampire during Sophie Anne's case."

She let him mull over that thought. And pulled open a drawer that she had noticed held her makeup earlier. She heard his reference to Pam when she opened her powder case.

"So for the last few weeks—you've heard everything. And you here, next to me; you trust me."

She wouldn't let him know that she didn't know everything, but still wanted to give him something to think about.

"Of course. Were you so eager to believe that things were as they were? So aligned to how you wanted them to be? And as for trusting you—it seems I am justified after last night. I know you're not sure about us. That you don't think you meant it last night. But you do and will."

"You're sure." He said. It wasn't a question.

"I am."

"If I believe you—and you love me as you say. You will do as I ask."

"Ask or command," she smarted off at him.

"You will keep the bond open—if you trust me, if you love me as you say, there is no need to hide anything."

It was a challenge and she knew it. He unplugged the curling iron and she finished applying her eyeliner. She took a breath and took a pump of the lotion sitting next to the sink. She lifter her leg to the counter and started rubbing it onto her opened legs. She exhaled and pressed everything in her soul into the bond.

He had to look away and step back. Not sure if he could handle all of this emotion. He realized that the moment she expressed her love—she screamed her pain, it was nothing compared to this raw passion. He felt her soul retreating.

"No. I just need a moment with it."

She knew he was overwhelmed but she gave back in. He staggered back but this time she was listening more closely. She tried to hold back her smirk.

"Bill told me once that we shared the same 'joie de vivre,'" she said, trying to distract him.

"He said that did he," Eric asked trying to keep up the impression that he was handling this well.

"More or less," she said and continued, "if you want this—if you want me to give this to you, when we're together you can't lie to me. It's just hurtful when you do it to my face. Vampires are supposed to think highly of their bonded."

"You're suddenly an authority on the matter," he said following her nearly nude body to the bedroom where she had started dressing.

"Amelia taught me how to use the internet."

He let down his guard, finally relaxing. What was the point if she knew everything? He started pulling on clothes and was done before she had managed to discard her pantyhose—he couldn't help but be happy with that development. She laughed and raised her leg into the air and pointed her toes. Stepping into the heels he had laid out she walked to the mirror and raised her hands to her blonde hair and leaned towards her reflection.

He walked up to her and put his arms around her; her bliss became his and he could see that he could grow to like this more than he expected. How funny that he had told her the same thing so confidently at Rhodes and didn't believe it himself until now. He ran his hands through her hair and pulled the curls into a loose mess. She looked sexy as if he had just taken her. She rubbed her backside into his groin and moaned at his pleasure that she felt through the bond.

"Are we late," she asked in that lusty voice that drove him wild for days. His fangs extended. She looked up through her half shut eyes.

"With my driving, we'll make it there early."

She turned around to face him and rolled her eyes, "You're hungry."

"There'll be donors there."

"I trust you—"she said as she stretched her neck before him, "It'll be easier for both of us this way."

He knew she was right and gave in because her scent was driving him wild anyways. He was lucky to have made it through the bath safely the night before. He lowered himself and licked the soft spot in her neck and she groaned. If she did that again he would certainly lose it. She seemed to be in his head again because he heard her teeth dig into her lip. The weight of her presence in his mind was lighter now. He pulled on her nipple as he bit into her throat.

Suddenly they were no longer standing—and she realized his pants were sinking to the ground. She felt his finger run through her insides and then enter her. It was there so shortly that she wasn't sure if it had happened. He thrust into her and she squealed his name. He slowed down controlling the fey blood pulsing through him. He gripped her breast and seemed to use it to flip her onto her knees. She couldn't be sure if he had withdrawn from her but she liked it. It felt as if he wanted her. He smacked her ass with his left hand and she shrieked. She reached back and took the arm and he almost stopped—so sure that she was going to give him an ear full. He wasn't sure if he would be able to listen to her; he felt possessed. A thick pain took hold of him and then crashing pleasure took over the bond and his member. He could see the blood droplets stain the white sheets below her head.

"Sookie," he exclaimed as his body jerked and released.

He knew she wasn't there yet so he fingered her clit while moving forward. She took one last suck and let go.

"Mine," he grunted as he quickened his pumping.

"Always," she said as she came. He kept thrusting into her, looking for the spot, and found it. He came once more as she was coming down from her second orgasm.

She rolled onto her side, panting while he put himself back to rights.

"I'm sure you could leave me alone at the Summit now. No one would dare touch me after that," she whispered.

"They would be stupid to do it in the first place," he jerked her skirt straight and slipped on a new pair of silk panties.

"Thanks," she said winking so he would know that her appreciation did not just refer to his redressing her.

"You are more manipulative than I thought."

"Never. How could you think such a thing," she said so perfectly that he almost believed her but was glad to realize that the bond was fully open. Her attitude seemed aligned with Pam's usual state.

"C'mon," he said, "We're late."

She was still shaking when he had finished checking in to the suite that had been booked for the two of them. She would never get used to his driving, and was surprised he could deal with her fear and still keep his foot heavy on the gas pedal.

They walked into the elevator and interlocked his fingers with hers. She could hear that he didn't like it but he seemed to accept the discomfort. She smiled and thanked him through the bond. His phone rang some garbled pop song—"Pam" he said justifying the ringtone. "Northman," he threatened the caller. She knew it wasn't a vampire by his tense state. She gripped his hand tighter—watching the numbers go up until they stopped at the highest floor. She waited for him to finish his call before she stepped out of the metal box.

"Alcide is a bit ticked off that you didn't make it for the dinner but I informed him it wasn't a necessary meeting unless he was willing to cough up more money. He'll be up to collect us in a half hour."

She was comforted that he felt it still necessary to tell her what happened even though she could hear it quite clearly through his mind.

"So we were late?"

"What is late? Really Sookie," he said with a grin.

He slid the key card into the electronic lock and raised his eyebrows to smirk at her. She followed him inside.

"Wow, Eric—it's so---"

He listened to her voice trail through the room as he turned around to grab the bags from the bell boy. He slipped the boy a twenty and realized that something was wrong. He slammed the door on the boy's face that was still caught up in seeing a vampire for the first time.

"Sookie," he called and took off at vampire speed to find her. It felt as if an hour had passed in the millisecond it took him to find her on her knees.

"Eric—Eric, I can't breathe," she said then she vomited onto the beige carpet. Her mind was sucked onto a rollercoaster and all she could see was red and Eric's tear-stained face pleading with her. She could feel the other presences surrounding her, smothering her. Each thought signature was different from the next: evil, pitying, devastated, worried, and confused. She fought for air, to resurface from the water-logged state she felt pressing down on her. She choked on her last breath and called to Eric even though he was kneeling hopelessly before her. _This is the end_—she thought, hearing a thudding heart dampen, sloshing out its last spurts.


	13. Chapter 13

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter Thirteen: **EPOV

All I could think was that I had turned her and didn't realize it. Yes, there is a pattern, a routine that we're supposed to follow—but have there been mistakes? Yes. Just ask Bubba. It infuriated me that I willingly left her side to dig through her feminine pouch and find her cell phone to dial Niall.

I could give the prince some respect because he did come immediately—at least he served her in that form. I tried to find an even stature as he was so confidently calm. I told him what happened.

"…for some reason my memory of Pam and her turning has completely lost me. It's as if her panic has robbed me of proper thought."

"She hasn't been turned. What has happened to you Viking? How can I trust you with my granddaughter if you react like this?"

Her presence sorting through my mind stopped me from reacting physically to the fairy. I left the conversation to enter the bedroom of the suite and check on her.

"Sookie," I said not having to tell her what I expected from her. The bond opened up completely and she was feeling slightly weak and very worried but nothing extreme.

"How do I look," she asked with a small smirk.

"You look amazing compared to last night."

I felt the pang of her mind in mine and tried to catch her eye but she was already getting up to examine herself in the mirror.

"Yes, I suppose I do. Niall's in the living room?"

I tried to hide my shock but this bond was my weakness. Did she realize how much this exposed everything of me? I couldn't allow myself to understand how I was suddenly not in control anymore. Where was the great sheriff? No wonder so many wanted to kill her.

"Niall, I'm so sorry to have alarmed you," I heard her say—not even realizing she had left the suite's bedroom.

"Do you have any idea what happened? Could his blood interfere with my fey line?"

He seemed just as perturbed by her calm demeanor and control. If I hadn't been aware of what was going on inside of her I would have given up right there. Let her wear the pants in the relationship, declare undying love. But I did not love her—no, that certainly did not exist no matter how sure she felt.

"I'm not sure. It's unheard of for fey—even partial fairy such as you to bond with a vampire. You're usually dead before anything like that could occur—"I could feel her shutter at the prince's words but she kept her stature.

"—we could end your bond but it would be dangerous. I would have to personally oversee it. It consists of—"

"—Never," Sookie cut him off with a strong voice.

"I know you were taught better, Granddaughter. My words are not spared—I expect you to not interrupt me."

I growled at his reprimand but she shot me a look and apologized, "Excuse me, grandfather, excuse both of us. Please continue."

Niall and I carried a visual tug of war before I had to look away. Did I just heel to my bonded? My anger saturated everything inside of me and I stomped off. I ripped the door off the hinges to find Alcide's arm mid-knock.

"Sookie needs a moment; she has company. Perhaps, you could find her something to eat while we wait. "

"What kind of game are you playing, Northman? You are working for me here."

"I work for no one, Were. Get my bonded a meal and she will be more than happy to facilitate all of your meetings."

"I should throw you out right now. I am pack master, and have more power than you could ever imagine."

Sookie's voice carried out interrupting my hands gripping the former flame of my bonded, "Do not play games with my bonded, Alcide. He does not need to be a mind reader to know you are lying. I am sorry that I'm holding everything up but I have an unexpected visitor and it seems our room—" looking at the unhinged door, "needs to be changed."

Alcide lifted his veiled eyes to her; I could already smell the magic of his near turn. I did not look at my bonded, afraid I would kill her if I looked away from the asshole in front of me.

"Of course, Sookie. I am certainly in your debt; it is not a problem. I'll have a room prepared for you—and a snack sent up to take care of you for the evening."

She took my arm and let her fingers run down the length of it grasping my fingers, "I need to talk to you for a second, can you come back in?"

I felt her searching my mind. _Get out._ The pressure was gone as quickly as it came. I followed her inside and Niall had made himself comfortable in the lounge chair in the corner of the room.

"I told Niall what happened and he thinks it is seer abilities. He says that Fintan could control his quite well, but refused to use them. We need to leave—there's no reason to tempt fate."

Sookie ran to the bathroom to answer the phone—I suspected she needed a moment to herself.

"Room 314? Great. Thank you so much—no, it won't be a problem. We'll be down in ten minutes."

I needed a moment to think about this. My bonded was not just a telepath but perhaps even a seer. What could that mean for us? If something was going to occur; I was not the vampire to hide from a fight. I was annoyed that we would have to leave. Let them come; let me vanquish them.

"No one's coming to get us. It won't be a battle," she said startling me out of my thought. I barely felt her presence that time.

"Don't be angry—"she said, "we're bonded, we will be more efficient if we work everything out as quickly as possible."

I couldn't ignore her practicality. Did bonded couples take their partner's attributes? How had I done this so many times and all of a sudden be so helplessly lost?

"Then what was it? I do not run from danger. I have not survived as long as I have from tucking my tail between my legs. If it is destined to happen—let it come to us."

I felt an overwhelming sadness.

"You are promised to protect me, and I saw myself dying. You were kneeling below me crying, unable or unwilling to do anything. This is not up for debate. Put your pride away, Viking."

"I do not cry," I challenged her to mention the night before but she knew better. Niall was still there and seemed entranced with the argument.

"Your room is waiting, and I have research to do. Call me Granddaughter if something comes up. Viking," he said nodding to me before popping out of the room.

I left the living room to gather bags and give myself a moment. I felt damned. What the hell could happen that I would sit willingly and watch my bonded die? It would be risky to give in to her mortality; I had no idea how my existence would manage through another bonded's death. Those earlier in my existence had felt like the shredding of my body—and those did not have the intrinsic properties that ours had. They certainly never made me doubt my relationship to be more than what it was. I left the bedroom with the bags and heard Sookie inviting someone in.

Alcide stood in the foyeur with a steaming mug of something that I was sure was filled with garlic. There really wasn't a doubt. Prick. I was so caught up in the odor I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I heard the echo of a slap make contact with skin. I snapped my head up ready to pounce on the man who had taken a hand to my bonded but was surprised to find the one with a hand to cheek was the Were.

"How dare you? I am a friend of the pack—and my bonded should be respected as thoroughly as I am. You insult me by acting so cruelly. I am going out of my way to help your kind and you do this?"

I suddenly felt emasculated. How had this woman taken control of almost everything in her life? And I stood behind her doing nothing.

"Speak, packmaster," she sneered, making clear that she held no respect for this creature.

"Forgive me, I didn't re---"she raised her eyebrows, "I wasn't thinking; it'll never happen again. I'll have something in your room by the time you make it there."

_Perhaps, you can put your dominatrix aside until we get to the bedroom, Lover. I have a feeling you're close to losing your respected status among the supes. May I play bad guy?_ She sent her consent across the bond and I took over.

"Would you like to brief me on our agenda for the night," I asked him. He looked to her still a bit shocked.

"I was under the impression that time was of the most importance, Were. Let's hear what you need of Ms. Stackhouse."

"Of course," he said pulling himself out of his head, "We will meet in a meeting room on the second floor to discuss among the packmasters the territory we will be a part of and how our social structure and government should be organized. Sook—" I growled, "Ms. Stackhouse will need to listen to see who has strong opinions, dangerous thoughts, or anything that could cause trouble for negotiation. From there, we will decide the agenda for the rest of the evening and Saturday night. Important events will only take place during the evening so the vampires can monitor security."

"Do you have questions, my lover?"

"Do I report to you or say what needs to be said out loud?"

"That's to your discretion. If something needs to be said. Say it, but small things you can take note of and let me know when we debrief."

"Everything sounds acceptable, Herveaux. Shall we meet you on the second floor?"

His gruff voice mumbled out some form of consent before exiting the room.

"If I wasn't worried about my cock being sawed off, Lover, I'd be turned on right now."

She smirked, "I don't know what came over me—it was as if my need to declare you as mine took over me."

"I thought we were against possessive pronouns?"

"Says the man who shouted it when he fucked me hours ago," she looked over her shoulder at me and winked. We were exiting our old room and making our way to the elevator.

"Has it been that long?" I asked her as I entered the elevator and pressed her against the wall. I ran my fangs from her lips over her chin down the center of her neck to her heaving cleavage. The contraption beeped and the doors slid open. She pressed herself into me as she squeezed herself out of the box and ran towards our new room. A uniformed man was waiting for us—dampening my appetite. He let us in and I could feel the panic again.

She started to breathe heavily. "What is it?" I asked. I couldn't believe she could be having another vision so close to the one earlier.

"Is it another one? What do you see?"

"No," she said, "It's just—it's just…"

"If you faint again, I will let you have it, woman. Spit it out."

Her tears ran over and she bent over so her breaths would come more easily.

"The room is exactly the same as the other one," she said.

"Of course, did you think each would be decorated differently," I asked confused.

"I don't know—I just thought that once I changed rooms—it wouldn't be able to happen, but everything's the same it could happen anywhere here. We have to leave, Eric."

I put my arms around her remembering Pam's suggestion. She sank into my grasp.

"We cannot avoid fate, my lover. If it is destined. We will find it, embrace it, and then fight it. Agreed?"

She nodded.

"You have to trust me, Sookie. Do you agree? Can you trust me?"

"With my life," she said, and the feelings coming through the bond were so true it almost frightened me.


	14. Chapter 14

_Hello, my faithful readers! I am so sorry it has taken so long to update—I just got back from spring break abroad and the week before were midterms. I am hoping to get another chapter out within' days but we have a second week of midterms this week. Fingers crossed! This chapter gave me some difficulties—so sorry if it does not quench the thirst, I know it is a bit short. Reviews are always appreciated—good or bad!_

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter 14: SPOV**

Content with my snack, and ready to get this over with, we met Alcide outside of the second floor meeting room. I was still a bit shocked over my treatment of him—but I attributed it to the newest dosage of vamp blood. It definitely left my emotions on a rollercoaster—or was that Eric, tonight? When I entered the conference room, all eyes shifted from Alcide, to me, to Eric and then stayed there. Go figure that the well-chosen outfit by Pam was nothing compared to a hunk of sexy man—or maybe it was the vampire prejudice. The room was filled of men with the exception of a well-toned red head and masculine brunette.

Eric gripped my waist and stepped partially in front of me—no matter the blood his senses were always stronger than mine. Alcide took a position standing in the front of the packed room. All of the chairs around the conference table were taken so I let Eric position me against the wall, behind Alcide's left shoulder.

"Welcome everyone to the Southeastern Were Summit. I'm Alcide Herveaux, packmaster in Shreveport—I will be leading the negotiations. I'd like to point out a few things before we get started. Greg, in the back corner will be filming the meeting available for the Shifter/Were Association for America and a live feed for those unable to attend. In addition, everything will be dictated and forwarded to all members in the area. Those who did not show up or leave early from the summit will not be considered when final decisions come to tally. Behind me is Miss Stackhouse, some of you may have heard of her in association with the Vampire Summit at Rhodes. She will be monitoring the meeting."

A few murmurs went through the group but only one voice interrupted the rumbling. An older grey haired man with horn rimmed glasses shouted from the center seat in the room, "What makes her so important that she can be here? This is for Weres only—even the vamp security has to remain outside. What's with her and the beefcake?"

My emotional rollercoaster was taking over again as I tried to suppress a giggle at Eric's nickname though it somewhat fit—and the flash of anger at being called out as not good enough to be in the room bristled the hairs on the back of my neck.

"Miss Stackhouse is a friend of several supe communities including my pack—as well as a telepath. I guess I need to spell it out. The beefcake—is her bonded—and local Sheriff, Eric Northman. He is here for her security purposes—I'm sure you all realize that she could reveal some personal thoughts—I'd rather we be safer than sorry for her sake. Just in case anything gets out of hand. Perhaps, one of you would recognize the respect due and permit her a chair.

I had never thought of my position there as dangerous. When it came to vamps, I knew that I could be beaten, kidnapped, drained, or bitten any second—but weres just seemed like the everyday cup of tea. They were human after all. Well, mostly. But could one get so furious with my announcements that I could be attacked? I nestled myself closer to Eric.

A growl penetrated the settled silence of the room and I saw a younger looking Were jump out of the seat adjacent to Alcide. I guess I could understand not wanting to stand through a meeting intended to last several hours. I smiled to him—which seemed to scare the Were even more, or maybe that was Eric lurking behind me?

"Let's begin with declaring the Southeastern region's vote on how the American Were community should be run."

I settled into the chair and spun it to an angle where I could reach Eric's hand. I could feel his panic, and questioning sinking to the bond. I settled on seriousness and followed his train of thought until he realized that it helped me hear them better. Not wanting to seem weak, he let go of my hand and placed his hand sexily against the naked area of my back. I couldn't suppress the lust which made me blush, but when I looked up at his face, it was blank despite the unwarranted lust being returned. This was going to a long night.

"I don't see why anyone would have a problem with a system similar to the vamps—there should be a hierarchy. It will take forever for things to get done if we work under a democracy system," said the red head in the back corner. Her voice was high pitched and stood apart from the grumbling arguments of the men.

I could hear the rush of minds and located the one who had decided in an instant to reply, "There is a reason why we hold vamps at arms lengths—" there was another term he wanted to use but Eric was a bit too bulky for him to continue that train of thought, "all of us like to have some form of a leader and also feel as if we contribute equally. All of us are aware of the kingdom turnovers and wars that the vamps end up dealing with. Usually, we get stuck in the middle of it. I will speak for myself in saying that I consider myself more human than supe and we should have a system that follows the Humans."

A few cheers broke out around the room, but a few minds were still stuck on power and glory.

"I think we should take it to a vote," said a gruff voice from the back corner of the room. I knew who it belonged to immediately. He walked forward from the shadows and made eye contact with me. His mind was swirling over the announcement of my bonding with Eric—and I was surprised he had voiced anything with the seething hate that was consuming his soul. My emotions must have triggered Eric's because he placed a second hand on my shoulder and gripped it a little too tight for comfort.

_It was never about putting her first—I knew it all along—it was about him; she loves him, she's practically oozing her scent all over that chair for him. _

I blushed and he realized that I had heard anything. He didn't make any effort to apologize with a facial expression or show any culpability.

"A vote it is," Alcide exclaimed, breaking apart the split tension and awe of Quinn's presence.

"All in favor of a democratic style system for the Southern states of Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Arkansas raise their hands."

Most hands flew up immediately, and I listened closer to the hesitant ones. Most were happy with the development and those that lingered before raising their hands, simply had doubts about how well it functioned.

"That makes everyone—let's move forward then," Alcide proclaimed.

"If I may," my voice choked out the syllables before I could think about it first. Eric had made a barrier between my body and the room without my eyes catching the quick movement. _Wow._

"Of course, Sookie," Alcide's voice was somewhat annoyed but maybe he was just nervous. He was paying a lot for this after all.

"I think there should be some sort of guidelines for what the democratic system would entail—some are a bit wary. Also, the man over there—"

I hated pointing but my eyes were not good enough to read his name tag. He was a rolly polly man but I had a feeling that he shifted into something a bit more dangerous, "has some strong feelings against the agreed upon system. So much so, that he intends to use his financial status to gain enough power to fight it if he has to."

The shocked intake of breath could have conjured up its own hurricane. The man flushed, and did not look away from my face. My chair, conveniently on wheels, was shoved by Eric to the corner behind Alcide, the pressure of the hurl was the only thing that kept me balanced on the contraption. A high pitched but still masculine noise was emitted from the rolly polly man—which I had finally read shifted to a bull. _How fitting._

"Eric!"

He was already moving towards the man and within' seconds had him dangling above the ground holding the man—Clyde Arnez—by the back of the neck. The man was hovering in the air and somehow already unconscious. It still shocked me to see how strong my man was. _How was I already claiming him in my head?_

A few Weres stood up to interfere but Alcide had already let out the rough growl that had commanded my seat hours before.

"I think we all realize that Mr. Arnez was not going to be able to control himself. There was no blood spilled. Let us continue. Thank you, Mr. Northman for handling that so appropriately."

Eric seemed unsure if he wanted to just leave the man unconscious. I could feel his inner debate on whether he could risk some other form of punishment. I refused to read further in his head—maybe he would trust me more if I gave him his space.

I saw a slice of Bill as he ran into and out of the room to retrieve Mr. Arnez. I was aware that his eyes lingered on me—my state—and maybe even my chest but I couldn't be sure. Eric gave him a cold look and he left as quickly as he arrived.

"As Miss Stackhouse mentioned, we should clear up the details of the democracy scenario."

The group argued for another forty-five minutes on random details. The pack master of each group in our Southern region would declare his pack's opinion or vote on any significant matter. Those that were unique such as Quinn would have a collective vote that was similar to number as the pack's votes. Problems within' packs would be settled as always, and there would be a formal hearing from a pack outside of the region of any dispute between two packs in the region—to prevent alliances or bias. A leader of the region would be chosen to deliver any opinions to national summits and chair panels on unforeseen issues. Everyone seemed satisfied with the arrangement and agreed that it should be sent to the Shifter/Were Association of America. They would iron out any kinks that did not suit the group's needs.

"But who will be the representative? How will you choose—a vote?"

I could feel Eric's annoyance that I had spoken up once again but it seemed odd that this one small detail was skated over.

"A pack contest of course."

"Oh," I said—reprimanding myself for not thinking about it harder.

"I think we've taken care of almost everything for the evening. Why don't we have anyone who wants to participate write his or her name on the white board? We'll let the winner celebrate tomorrow evening and have one last conference on Sunday early evening. Thank you everyone for your patience and cooperation. We should get some rest—tomorrow evening will be a trial, I'm sure."

I stayed seated and watched as every person in the room put his/her name on the board before leaving. Sam winked at me as he scrawled his name under the crooked list. I stood up to go to him and stop him but Eric held me back.

"It isn't your place."

"I'm his friend—he could die. This is stupid Eric."

"That is the way of the supes—we handle things both mentally and physically. He knows what he is risking; if he didn't believe he could win, or didn't believe it was worth it, he would not be here."

His gaze commanded me to listen to his reasoning and for once, I gave in. I would be the first to admit since Bill walked into Merlotte's, I would never understand the ways of the supes.

"Come, lover, we still have time before dawn to relieve that tension from your hard work this evening. And I believe you need something to take your mind off of your worries—Alcide, we'll meet you tomorrow before the contest."

"Of course. Thank you, Sookie—is there anything you didn't mention?"

I handed him the notebook of notes I had taken but all seemed irrelevant with the meeting settled. I took my Viking's hand in mine and he did not move away for once. Perhaps, he knew I needed it. I was happy that everything had gone relatively well but we were on our way back to the hotel room—and the memories of that premonition surfaced. For now, I could let it go. Everything seemed better than it was because I had him within' my reach—actually, I had him intertwined between my fingers.


	15. Chapter 15

_Sorry, this is a bit fluffy. I'm planning on getting us more on target with the storyline, but sometimes, it's just nice to have a story and some fluff. Look forward to BPOV or the Contest next chapter, probably out this weekend! Enjoy!_

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Fifteen**

Her shirt was ripped to shreds, barely hanging on to her shoulder blades. She was pinned to the wall his mouth inches from hers. Her chest was heaving, so much that it would graze his breast pocket each time she inhaled. He left inches between them so it was noticeable. Her hands were pressed above her head, crossed so she was at his mercy. She knew he could feel her arousal, and slight stubbornness with the situation she had found herself in.

"Lover, I am surprised any of the men in that room got anything done with so many eyes looking at _my breasts_," he emphasized the phrase 'my breasts' with sucking the fleshy fat begging to escape her bra.

She couldn't believe that her breathing could speed up anymore, but it did. She knew he was happy with that fact. She was happy to be underneath his smirk, still uncomfortable with the fact that the night had unfolded the way it had earlier. He ducked his face underneath her curls and inhaled.

"I could smell me on you all night. I could also smell that you were still in need of my nourishment," he started to kiss the side of her neck, nibbling and blowing cold air over the wet skin.

Her cheeks flushed and she was suddenly no longer begging inwardly for him to fuck her. No matter the amount of lust that pounded through the bond, begging for her to fight him, to turn on the slutty attitude she had given him weeks before—she did not want this any longer. All she could think about was Quinn and how he had looked at her—his disgust at what she had become. She always knew his resentment for vampires as he had a right to—but this was nothing more than the belief that she was a man's fuck toy, his slave. Is that what she had become? Look at her, pinned beneath him, chest finally slowing down because of a quivering emotional revelation.

For a moment, his erection pressing against her stomach distracted her but when she reached this conclusion she reprimanded herself once more. What had she become? She was never her own woman—she just lived under that illusion. Before Bill had walked into Merlotte's, she was a scorned woman with no hope of a probable relationship. Then, she lived focused on the fact that she would never have her dreams, and now her dreams revolved around the man before her. She was becoming his common slut. She was someone that wouldn't chatter on incessantly, or treat him like a freak, so she was worth coming back to night after night for a feed and a fuck.

The bile rushed up her throat and she was lucky that he had realized her state of mind. He let her out of his grasp and she slammed the bathroom door—just making it to the toilet in time. Nothing came out but she wanted it to. She needed these memories, these erratic, crazy, life-threatening, heart-wrenching, and horrible years separated from her life. Was all of this pain she was feeling, that had suddenly caught up with her again, worth the blissful hours in the bedroom and cuddling? She lay down on the floor to allow the cool tiles to ease her flush and cool the hot flesh drenched with sweat.

She was glad he hadn't followed her inside even though it could probably be his fear of human fluids that weren't red. He had shown some human emotions to her in the past: shame and regret when he made Bill purge the truth, empathy when he told her he was almost sure Bill was dead in Jackson, fear when he held her hand in bed the night he was lost, and care when he bathed her last night. That was the reason why she loved him—if she did love him, she realized it could really be just desperation.

Did she bottle up all of those feelings and call it love because she was so desperate for a man to take care of her? She feared that she would become an old maid with occasional visits from her always youthful fairy bloodline. Was that why she had put all of her eggs in Eric's basket? She stood up and opened the cellophane packet. It had a tiny vial of toothpaste which she emptied onto the white bristles. A concise rap on the door and patience lingered through the bond. She continued to brush her teeth, surveyed the scene, and flushed the toilet before uttering, "Come in."

She spit before looking up at his always youthful and stunning face focused on her half naked body but the lust was tempered now.

"I'm not going to take this reaction personally," he said in a light tone.

"No, I guess you wouldn't. But your ego could sure use the deflation."

She pulled the last scraps of the blouse off of herself, throwing it in the waste bin underneath the sink. She unhooked her bra and enjoyed the freedom momentarily. It took everything she had to not cover herself up, because she wanted to take a stand. She wasn't sure what it meant—why she was adventuring into such wild, strange behavior, but it seemed necessary. She palmed her breast, not because she wanted to excite him but because they ached from being bound in the tight bra. She had been trying too hard to look good for Eric. She was realizing how tired and exhausted she was. Her body may be in tip top shape with Eric's supplements, but emotionally, she was still a wreck. She could put on her happy face and smack some people around, but she was still a mess. She kicked off her heels and turned around, trying to find somewhere to squeeze past him.

"Where are you going? Don't think your rebuff can piss me off enough to indulge your need for a tiff. What is this about?"

She looked up at him, and wanted to throw herself into his arms but was still unsure of her relationship with him. Could she ignore the new sense of doubt perpetrating her side of the bond? And could she deal with the cash of emotions left over from all of her heartbreaks tonight? She was already freaking out about tomorrow's big contest and death that was no doubt near. Was she confronting herself because of her impending mortality—she had seen that she would die this weekend, in this room. All she could think was "I'm too young to die."

He had her in his arms, cradled carefully. He was getting used to being the caretaker, and realized it was nice taking care of someone else besides himself. He owed her after the curse, for babysitting him. He would never admit that to her—he owed fealty to no one, let alone a human, but he owed her. He knew that he would always be in her debt no matter the amount of bullets he took for her. She had taken a few bullets—so to speak—for him as well. He took her arms and raised them so they could slip into the sleeves of one of his shirts. She was too stubborn to lie down in the bed so he let her sit up Indian style after he had gotten her down to just underwear.

"Don't you ever wonder what it would have been like to live a full life? Do you ever think what a blessing mortality could have been?"

He was a bit stunned at her question. Would mortality have been a good thing? Would his life have mattered—who remembered many Vikings these days? But now days, he didn't have much of an incentive to make a difference—as humans craved, because he would be around to see himself do it when it came to that.

"I can die any day; in some ways, I'm just as mortal as you. What is going on, Sookie? What are you worried about?"

She was glad he had called her by her name—perhaps; he realized she needed that, in this moment. There was so much to tell. Could he understand and listen about Quinn without doing anything rash later? She was sure he wouldn't do anything that could piss her off—but he certainly wouldn't do the Tiger any favors.

"I am too young to die."

"And that is why you won't be doing so any time soon."

She searched the bond and found only conviction, "you didn't see what I did, Eric."

"I cried."

"Yes."

"Were we alone?"

"No, there were people there—I couldn't tell who though. You were dragged out of the room—you left me to die alone."

"I could not do that; I have pledged my protection to you."

"It was so real—I know it will happen; why can't you listen to me? I have been through hell for the last few years but here I am doing everything I can to appease you. I have offered you everything. Is there someone else that warrants more from you than I do? Everyone else thinks I am worth something—supe bait, you used to want me. What has changed?"

"There is a new king now, new risks. You can read my mind. We have a blood bond, one that could kill me if I get any closer to you. And you are supe bait. Bait that willingly falls in love with tigers when I am standing before her—when she claimed there was something there, something more. I will take this seriously; I will honor what you expect from me barring extensive circumstances and will protect you."

"You did not remember. I owed myself the happiness that you offered me when you were under Hallow's curse. You do not trust me in your head?"

"I have to."

"But you don't."

"No."

Sookie thought about that, about what he said he could give her right then.

"So as your property or whatever I am to Felipe, you would be obligated as my bonded as well, to assist me to be best prepared for tomorrow?"

"Of course, my lover."

He knew she had avoided some of the real issues that were upsetting her, but this was getting them back to his original intentions. He had been hoping for some wild sex: fast and hard; it seemed she was not in the mood for that, but he found that slow sex with Sookie could do it for him just as well.

"Then I need to rest without worrying about blocking you. It's giving me a headache."

He was thrown for a moment. He wasn't following the bond as carefully as he thought.

"I cannot and will not leave. We just talked about me protecting you, Sookie. Do you really think I would leave you—it's practically begging for your little fortune to come true?"

"Eric Northman, I am not crazy. Do not give me that crap about a traumatic event that only happened hours ago. You do not have to leave, but somehow you're going to have to deal with me not controlling my shields. I'm tired."

She already felt the tension bouncing through the bond. This is not what he had expected.

"Give me a moment."

She let him sort through what was no doubt a hard thing for him to accept. How many secrets did he hold in there? How many things must he have seen in his 1000 years?

"We could try you going into downtime; if you'd just sit with me until I fell asleep. That may work, and I wouldn't have to make you forfeit your trust."

"Yes, I could see that as being a better alternative. Shall we lie down?"

He gestured towards the bed and she was surprised he was going to handle himself in such close quarters to her. Her eyes dodged between the bed and him.

"Sookie, no one needs to be telepathic to know that you have other things on your mind. I am not a horny buffoon. Lay down, my lover. Hurry! I need you in tip top shape tomorrow."

He pulled back the corners and she scooted so she could angle her legs underneath them. He lay beside her; their arms touched so she decided it was okay to shift so her head was on his chest. He began to breathe, giving her a nice even rhythm. She looked up and smiled, meeting his eyes. And with that, she let her shields down. There was a quiet stream of thought of the innocent first night in her home after Hallow's curse, an image of a baby looking up—presumably at Eric's face, and finally a desperate wish to kiss her before his eyes fluttered to downtime and she bathed in the silent buzz of his mind.

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_A/N:_

_Thank you everyone for the reviews. I can't wait to check my email in the morning after I post a chapter, and I was excited to have some new readers, too! _


	16. Chapter 16

**Dead to Me:**** Chapter Sixteen**

He woke with just a strip of sheet covering his pelvis. Had he gone to bed naked? He couldn't remember. He could hear a tune acutely, and saw Sookie in the corner listening to an IPod. Who knew she would get herself one of those? Maybe it was a Christmas present. What was that emotion—guilt? … He hadn't been there—sent her anything—for Christmas. Granted it wasn't his holiday, but he knew it was important to her, especially considering how actively he knew she was struggling with her faith. The same song came on again.

_There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how_

Because maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now

The song played through—_catchy—_he thought. By the fourth time, he realized it was on repeat. How long had she been listening to this before he woke. He knew that she knew that he was awake. He sat up and looked around, reminded of the vision. Everything seemed to be where it was. There was something dreadfully sad about her.

"Sookie," he said. She looked up and pulled one of the cords out of her ear.

"You can keep your shields down, I'll try to let go," he offered like a parent would offer their child an ice cream sandwich to stop crying.

"Did you have children before you were turned?" she asked.

"Four."

"So many?"

He didn't feel the need to elaborate on the ones that did not make it out of their mother's stomachs. She could gather what she wanted to.

"With your wife?"

"No, three different women."

A pause held over and he wished he could have asked her what she was thinking. He was not dwelling on his history. That was too long ago to change now. He hadn't felt the need to go back and see what happened to his family. If his children made it or not. That could be tortuous for a man of his position.

"There was a surplus of women in my village."

She nodded, "And you wanted children?"

"We did not live a bohemian life, there were responsibilities. I was a strong man—it was my duty to provide my village with strong hands. Do you want children?"

She looked away from him. Sadness and regret filled the bond. "Yes, I did. Very much."

"You aren't going to die, Sookie. You have several fertile years ahead of you. It is possible."

"It amazes me how blinded you are. You actually believed what you said."

"I would not lie and say you were going to make it through this if you were not."

"You need to listen, actually listen to me—there won't be children. There won't be other lovers, husbands, grandchildren. I believe you, I will live through this weekend—but I love you. And this bond will be here forever. We have no doubts. It'd be one thing if we hadn't done what we did in Rhodes—and I'm not blaming you for that, I'm thankful. But we are tied; our souls will forever be interlocked. If I get to fall asleep with you once a year for the rest of my life—I will be happy. I probably could even deal with it without sex. That's how much I love you. I'm fucked, and I'm fine with it."

He moved towards her, trying to make sense of her words. He pressed pause on the metallic box and looked at her.

"Lover, if I have anything to say about it, there will be plenty of sex."

Her mouth tried to move upwards, to form a smile but it was stuck in this grim, frozen state. He was sure she was going through his mind, analyzing how he felt about all forms of her words. He tried not to think about falling asleep with her—that bothered him. Such a simple act said so much about lovers.

"Are you hungry? Alcide brought me something, so I'm okay if you are."

"Yes, but I can wait until later and just have a True Blood. You aren't here to be my meal."

"Don't be ridiculous. We both know you're not a martyr. Since when are you selfless?"

He laughed and nodded in agreement. He leaned towards her and kissed her, deepening it. She shook away his kiss and said, "no sex."

"I thought—"

"I know, but not now," she pulled away her collar and permeated the bond with assurance and pleasure. He returned peace so she was comfortable when he bit in the tender place he loved. Her mouth fell open to breathe. He knew how vulnerable she was at the moment and took advantage of it.

It took every ounce of Eric's control not to shift from feeding to fucking. It was the first time he had tasted her since he almost drained her. The thought of her dead, lifeless, even vampiric—gave him that nauseous feeling he had been encountering lately. Was that Sookie's reaction to his thoughts? He caught her eye, and could focus again.

"You have had another lover, Sookie. I can taste it on you. In you. I wasn't sure, but I am now."

Fear and embarrassment took over her body but she pushed it aside. _How ridiculous, he's had plenty of lovers, you did what you wanted to in that moment. And it was very worth it._

The resolve that infiltrated the bond made him want to read her mind. He was one of those men who always wanted the things that he could not have—and telepathy...he had hoped that would come through the bond eventually. He hadn't ever thought about the possibility of her reading him.

"I slept with a Were on Christmas Eve."

_Which were?_ He hadn't felt any strong urges or emotional moments during the meeting last night to give it away. He wanted to crush something, and again, was so angry with himself for not indulging the nagging part of his brain that told him to come see her on Christmas. He was sure he still had some trinket he had purchased for her, stashed away in his desk at Fangtasia. That was before he made the resolution for her to be nothing but property to him.

"Was that jealousy, I felt?"

She giggled, "and how many lovers have you had since Christmas, since we first slept together after new years?"

He didn't need to answer, she had seen the images. He never counted. It was a useless game for the young and low-self esteemed.

"Point taken," he said. He didn't want this to linger over them all evening and so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"There's a part of me that wants to be what you want. I want to love you."

"I know, but I also know it's not that simple. I can wait. We need to go, get dressed."

He felt as if he had been dismissed but knew that she was distracted. He pulled on a pair of khakis and then took them off somehow feeling like Bill. He chose denim to slide over his semi-hard gracious plenty.

"Oh and Eric."

"Yes, my lover?"

"I saw Sam die."

"Sam?"

"My boss—the shifter.. Sam Merlotte"

"I knew whom you were speaking of."

"It was another vision, but I'm so sure it was real. I called him—he's okay right now. I'm pretty sure it will happen at the contest."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"I will handle it. He won't die. Let's get going. I'm sure you'll need to read everyone before the events take place. That's what I heard happened with Herveaux at the last event."

"Yes. I guess we don't have a choice. The faster we get there the faster we can save, Sam."

"I suppose so, my lover, but if you think you need to change, we can delay our exit a few orgasms," Eric wiggled his eyebrows and she smacked him playfully. They hadn't walked ten yards before being stopped by Bill.

"Compton?"

Bill bowed his head before taking a long look at the two of them. Eric was leaning into Sookie similarly to the way he had before the witch war. This time his eyes were strong, but her smell and his was covered on each of their bodies. Eric was watching her body, for any form of a sign on what she would need at the drop of a hat. Bill was almost amazed by the situation, but by now, he wasn't surprised at what Sookie could get people to do. He was sure if her breathing broke a bit off of its usual pattern he would ignore Eric's presence and interfere.

"Compton?"

Eric's gruff voice interrupted the moment and Sookie looked up and didn't take a second to focus on Bill. She had eyes only for Eric. How could so much affection have existed a year and a half before and now—nothing. He couldn't find an inkling of interest in the little blood of hers that still flowed through his—veins?

"I wanted to inform you that I will be leaving tomorrow morning for Finland."

"And you are telling me because you have permission from someone else, Felipe?"

"Victor."

It was a blatant lie. Bill hadn't had a second since he formulated his plan to talk or think of anyone else but Sookie and what he need to do.

"You'll be close to my homeland. What will you be doing?"

"I have some contacts to add to the database."

"Very Well. Make sure to inform Pam of when you will be returning. You're excused, Compton."

"Thank you, Sheriff. Sookie."

He nodded towards the both of them and lingered on Sookie just long enough before he would be threatened by Eric. Yes, she could get under anyone's skin, that was for sure. If Eric had been thinking, and not lusting or being preoccupied over his _bonded_. (just the thought made him sick) He would have remembered that Bill had already been through all of the countries in Europe—even brought him back an artifact from Sweden a month before. He wouldn't call Pam—she was alert enough to do the job as sheriff while Eric chased tail.

Yes, the sheriff would certainly be on his knees, shortly. It seemed Bill didn't have to do as much as he anticipated bringing him down. Even his worries over dealing with Sookie seemed to be coming together just from the few minutes he stood before her, the idea started to cement. He would look forward to bringing her beside him, while Eric bowed before them.


	17. Chapter 17

_Thank you everyone for reading my story! The reviews have been so kind and honest. I know people are struggling with the characters and their personalities, but am hoping that they can still enjoy the story. _

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter 17**

"Look, Shifter, you're going to do what I say you're going to do because she will not live through you getting your furry ass killed," Sam made an effort to interject but Eric cut him off, "No, you'll listen to me. I can count on one hand who really cares about that girl besides me, and I cannot deal with anymore tears. She may seem tough, as if she doesn't give a damn, but you will not be the reason for another one of her silly little emotional breakdowns."

"You're telling me the one time I can make a difference in my community—that I will die, and therefore should just give up. If I can't do this, what should I do instead? Run a fucking bar like you? How will I ever make a difference?"

"What is it with humans always wanting to make a difference? Fucking mortality," Eric thought of something to distract Sam, to give Sookie a reason to keep going. It killed him to leave her alone during the middle of this high stress moment, "Children."

"Children?"

"Sookie wants children, and eventually she'll realize I'm not going to ever be that person for her or worth dismissing something she's always dreamed of. I'll make sure she turns to you."

Sam looked disgusted by the thought but Eric knew he was fantasizing about it, "She'll resent me for it. How could I have children with her when I know she wishes I was someone else? We all know that these visions don't come to fruitition. What is this, her second vision ever? And did the first come true?"

"That is not the point, shifter. You need to live through this, you owe me."

"We're even, Sheriff. I've kept my tabs for you. I will fight, and win."

* * *

Sookie watched Eric's fist curl as he tried to reason with Sam. She felt as if she should be doing it but he insisted he could convince "the shifter" so she let him. All she could think about was the vision, it seemed as if the were made eye contact with her before ripping apart Sam's jugular. She didn't know how she knew that was Sam, she just did. In her vision, Sam was a copper toned werewolf but the one that killed him was drenched with sweat making his chestnut colored fur almost black.

The scene was coming together before her eyes. She watched the men place the bars into cages. The lights to highlight each of the three boxes were being focused to the center of the ring. A bed was being made on a podium in the center of the room. Alcide leaned over the microphone, also attached to the front of the podium and did a sound check.

Suddenly, she could see herself running through the crowd, pushing people out of the way. She made it just in time to the cage; she tried to pry the bars open but her human strength was no match. "Sam," she screamed. "Give up Sam, please, it's not worth it."

His momentary distraction left his throat exposed. It was the perfect kill shot. The dark wolf looked at her and seemed to make sure she was watching before opening his mouth and pouncing. Sam's squeal seemed to tear her heart open and she could feel Eric trying to calm her down from outside of the vision. She heard the gooey noise and looked up to see a naked blood drenched Sam before her. "I should've listened to Eric, I'm so sorry, Sookie." This was new. Sookie became excited at seeing the vision change. If Eric's talk had become relevant this didn't have to happen. Eric startled her out of her thoughts.

"Sookie, I tried. The infantile shifter was too caught up with his mortality to be interested."

"I'll take care of it, Eric, something can still be done," she was still panting from the new vision but squeaked out her tale.

"That is good news my lover."

* * *

Alcide approached them and couldn't help but notice how tired Sookie looked. Her body was sagging in Eric's arms. He was mumbling into her ear and she was nodding, eyes closed.

"Sookie, are you ready? I'll brief you on the rules and then you can go in the back and make sure everyone's following regulations and prepped properly."

"Sure, Alcide, what's the deal?"

"Okay, there was a hunt a couple hours ago, and those that brought back their assignment has been authorized for the contest. That leaves us down to six: Sam, Quinn, Preston Pardloe, Candice Surley, Sheldon Catter, and I. The fights have been arranged: Preston Pardloe v. Quinn, Sam v. Sheldon Catter, and Candice v. Me. The only way out is to take yourself out or be taken out. When there has been a drop out, Dr. Ludwig will be available to work on the individual. If a shifter is going against a werewolf, they will shift to werewolf form if possible. Finally, we have three women available as reward to close the tournament."

"I didn't need to know that."

"Right, sorry, just sort of rehearsing before I have to go up there."

"So, I just need to make sure everybody has good intentions, and send them out there. I don't need to watch."

"No, actually neither you nor Eric will be allowed in the actual room of the event."

"Show us where you want us," Eric interjected. He was starting to realize that Sookie was drained from the visions. He wanted to get her out of here as soon as possible.

Alcide began to lead them to the back room that adjoined the warehouse space that the hotel used for business fairs or proms. Eric lifted Sookie into his arms even though she struggled for a moment but seemed to realize that he had reasoning behind his motives. She sunk into his grip and found a comfortable spot. When they arrived, he set her in a leather chair while he listened to Alcide give him the breakdown of everything: everyone needed to be separated, only the two of them, Dr. Ludwig, and competitors could be in the room. The fighters could only bring their clothes into the room, and must have a reading by Sookie before entering the floor. Alcide left them to do his opening speeches, and the first two competitors walked in to change.

"Eric, we could say that Sam was going to cheat. He'd forgive me eventually, if it kept him alive."

"No, this is up to him Sookie," he wished he wouldn't be the devil's advocate in this moment. If Sam died, she would hate him—since when did he care what she thought of him.

Suddenly, there was a tiger between them. He growled at Eric and then went to Sookie and licked her bare leg before reaching the hem of her white summer dress. She felt a bit out of season, but couldn't make the effort to change into anything tighter. Eric's chest puffed up and his fangs descended. He pushed the tiger a few yards away from his bonded and stared the brazen animal down.

"You should be focusing on other things, shouldn't you Quinn?"

Quinn looked away, and sat on his haunches, still prepared to lunge but seeing reason through Sookie's perspective.

"I should have a guide on who's fighting who—what if it was an imposter the entire time. And then that person had an unfair advantage."

"You should be able to hear that when you listen to them, weren't you paying attention, my lover?"

Sookie hadn't been paying attention. She was too worried about Sam. She was still waiting for him to come forward—to plead to him, to see reason. A coffee colored python wrapped himself around Sookie's ankle but was pulled loose before she could scream. Eric had flung the animal twenty or so feet, responding to her fear as if it was his own.

Sookie stood over Quinn while keeping her eye on the other competitor. Both's minds were clear, going through attack methods or fighting patterns. She okay'd them through the door and waited for the next team. She saw three Were's stretching and she looked away as a woman stripped in the center of the room. She didn't want to know if Eric was watching so she started putting together her little speech for Sam. Alcide approached the two of them; she assumed the Were following him, a pure white husky-like Were, was Candice. She would have to take a look at the woman if she survived the night. She wondered if she was as pretty in person as she was in her animal form. Sookie had an urge to pet the woman, but had a feeling that in this case the bite was worse than the bark. Sookie read the two of them, stemming with confidence, and she permitted them to enter their arena.

And then there was Sam. His copper fur surprised her, as she was so comfortable with the bloody clumps she had been running in her head over and over. She got down on her knees and wove her hands through his fur. The texture was coarse, and she struggled to keep eye contact as he darted his eyes sideways and upwards. "You stop that right now," she shouted and he finally focused on her. She felt her fears rise within' her and could feel Eric's presence behind her. A growl, not necessarily cruel, but warning nonetheless, alerted her to the Were in her periphery.

This Were, Sheldon Catter, was not the dark brown Were she had been fearing. He was almost exactly the same color as Sam. She looked up to see what Eric thought, but he was only thinking of ways to hurry her along. He didn't want this to become a scene. She read the two of them, wished them (Sam) luck and let them go. Could the vision still come true and just have a small flaw of the wrong colored competitor? This wasn't making sense.

"He wasn't dark brown."

"I'm aware. My eyes are better than yours, remember, Lover?"

"In my vision, he was dark chocolate—maybe even espresso colored."

"Then perhaps your dreams were just interfering because of your fears, and you had simply fallen asleep."

"No, I know what I saw. Something has changed; I just can't put my finger on it."

Sookie was flattened to the floor because of a swinging door knocking her down. She tried to breathe but the air had been pushed from her lungs. She struggled to her knees and coughed until she could catch her breath. Eric helped her up, and stood over her protectively as he watched the events taking place in the no longer empty room.

Sookie observed a naked ass, bent over, unashamedly. She noticed the scarring along the large body mounted on a makeshift table. Dr. Ludwig stood over Quinn, her body elevated by a cardboard box.

"He needs the antibody I gave Alcide. Do you have it? He only has a few minutes left before he goes into shock," the naked ass's voice carried into Sookie's head. Why was everything becoming so familiar? What had Alcide said? She had been distracted by her lazy mind thinking of Sam.

_Preston Pardloe. _

The thought had come from Eric's mind before she could reach the train of thought her brain was trying to bring her to. How had he known who Preston was? _A fairy._

That couldn't be right. She had slept with a were. She had risked her life to save him that night, and he had thanked her, several times. The blood rushed to her face, and wouldn't leave when she realized he was standing before her, full frontal.

"It's so good to see you, Sookie," he said as he leaned over and kissed her cheek while moving the strands of hair away from her face. He wasn't lying about being happy to see her; he was pressed against her. She was surprised Eric hadn't stepped between them yet. Thank god she had remembered Eric, because he was about to break Preston's neck, she tried to settle him down through the bond, making sure to be careful not to piss him off. He was definitely not stable right now.

"Eric, Preston and I need to catch up—could you give us a moment?"

He was furious that she had cast him in this submissive nature, but hung back. There was something off about the embrace between the two of them. Sookie would faint at the thought of hugging a naked man in public, but this, seemed natural. _Was Preston related to her?_

They walked out of earshot of Eric, and Preston pulled on a pair of sweatpants he had picked up while walking. He reached up and stroked her face again. She looked tired but still just as beautiful as he had left her.

"I'm bonded—you can't touch me like that."

"You were bonded when we came together that night."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Friends."

"Fairy friends," she asked in a harsh whisper.

"So you knew."

"Eric knew—I found out seconds ago. What the hell are you doing here if you're fairy—and what the fuck did you pull on me? Was that your idea of a sick joke? Let's see who I can trick into fucking. I'm surprised you didn't invite your little "Were" friends over to join us," she made quotation marks with her fingers to emphasize the word Were.

* * *

Eric observed them from afar, and considered finishing off Quinn while Sookie was distracted. One less ex for him to worry about. He did not need to have to chase her again—even though she promised him her interest would only always be with him.

The fairy touched her again, and he saw her lean in towards him. Her face softened as she listened to something serious he was telling her. The bond between them had shrunken, and he wanted to run up and pry them apart. They were not supposed to know eachother. What the hell was the fairy doing here anyways?

* * *

Preston had finished telling her of the arrangement made with Niall. She had ranted over becoming a charity case—and even bitched about whether or not he had enjoyed his prostitution adventures. If she had been a burden to fuck. He made sure to clear up the fact that she was the only thing he had thought of since the night in question. He had stayed away because that's what he was asked of by Niall, but her presence here had to be fate.

"Fate," she said in a negative tone. He knew that this was her way of calling his point of view, bullshit.

"I know you felt an attraction. We wanted each other, regardless of the way we met."

"I'm bonded. I love him. Another time, yes, I would pursue this—but I will always feel things and be felt by this man. There is no way that this could work. Not to mention you lied to me. I cannot tolerate another man in my life that lies to me."

"Eric does not lie to you?"

"There's a difference. I know when he is lying to me."

"If the bond is the problem—I know how to end a human/vampire bond."

He started explaining the fairy magic and the bloodletting that goes into ending this thing she thought was so permanent. She looked across the room to see Eric staring at the two of them. Preston's arm touched her face and brought it into a warm, wet, passionate kiss. She had missed this affection in her relationship with Eric. She forgot that things could feel this wonderful. Don't get her wrong, she could have orgasms with Eric—but the doubt, the way she held herself back, in no way infiltrated the environment altering kiss she had with Preston.

"You insult me by kissing another,"

Eric had Preston raised by the throat. This scene was so familiar.

"I was just making sure you still cared," Sookie lied.

"Well, now that you've made your point, perhaps, you should check on Sam, he won his round. He will be fighting your little friend, next."

"What color is your fur," Sookie demanded.

"Dark brown," Preston answered as if it was a normal question, similar to "how are you?"

"I will out you and what you really are if you do not bow out right now."

"How about we compromise? A kiss, and date next weekend and I'll be out of your sight in seconds."

Sookie thought about the kiss. The passionate kiss that had just made her knees buckle. They had made a connection—and if this is what she needed to do to save Sam, she would do it. It was all in the effort of saving another.

"Deal."

"Sookie, this is ridiculous. You committed to me. We are bonded."

"According to Preston, a bond like ours is not so difficult to end."

Eric wished that he hadn't let go of the fairy and put him back on his feet. He wanted to break the man's neck immediately.

"Ending a bond could be fatal."

"But it's possible."

"Yes," Eric answered begrudgingly.

"Preston, you promised you would be out of my sight in seconds. Pick me up in a week around seven? Off you go!"

Preston popped away, but not before pulling Sookie into a movie star kiss. She was dipped so low that her hair brushed the floor, and then thrown into Eric's arms to be steadied as the fairy disappeared. Her mouth involuntarily flexed into a smile. She was out of the room before she realized she was being carried. They were in the elevator and Eric's lips were pressing against her skin, trying to prove something.

"What about the contest?"

"Alcide bowed out and the female he was fighting was gravely injured—leaving your boss in charge."

"Sam has the position."

"Yes, and that means your unemployed."

"I guess it's a good thing I worked this weekend then."

"I will take care of you for now on—" Eric looked into her eyes making sure she knew he was serious. "—and we will talk about this date. Or maybe I should just convince you how many hours you would be wasting out of my grasp."

He went back to kissing her, opening their hotel room door before flinging her onto the bed.

"If you want to get any tonight, Eric Northman. You will do one thing, first," Sookie said as she took off her dress showing him her tan skin glowing against the white lace lingerie she was wearing.

"Anything."

"Get me out of this fucking room so I can concentrate on only you when we're fucking."

Without picking up their bags, or Sookie's clothes, he had a stack of dollar bills on the bedside table and her in his arms. She was in the corvette before he uttered the last words he would be saying for the rest of the evening, besides moaning her name.

"Done, Lover."

* * *

_A/N: I know we were eager for the first scene this weekend, but my timeline calls for the event to occur a little later! Sorry for the tease. Look forward to some lemony goodness later this week! Reviews make me very happy!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Dead to Me: ****Chapter 18**

She tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he carried her down the emergency stairs of the hotel. She was still only wearing a lacy, white bra and thong set.

"If you let anyone see me, I will stake you myself," she said laughing even though the threat seemed serious.

"I would not dare. I do not feel like fighting another admirer of yours tonight," he said.

"It was hardly a fight," she finished and for that, he smacked her ass and she yelped.

They made it to his corvette without hassle and he swung her to his hip so he could manage to unlock the door.

"Let me drive," she pleaded.

He thought about it, and looked at his pride and joy longingly.

"I'll let you do anything," she pressed her lips into a pout and his cock twitched.

"I'll make you my personal slave if you get as much as a scratch on it."

She jumped into the air and clapped her hands. She was thrilled—he could tell from the bond that she was a little turned on by his lust too.

They got in the car and she revved the engine a bit too hard, making him groan. She rolled her eyes. She pressed the gas pedal lightly, backing them up before shifting gears and peeling out.

"Sookie, I'm begging you. Give me mercy."

"Soon, baby, I promise," she winked at him.

Her legs were spread. He remembered she was barely dressed next to him. She could the ripple of her folds against the lace—and her scent was taking over the enclosed space.

She cranked up the music and he touched the outside of his jeans to arrange himself more comfortably. They tore down the highway—almost to Bon Temps.

She let down the windows, her hair fluttering behind her and he could inhale without danger of ravaging her. It wasn't like he had needed it, but it occasionally did make things in his old body more comfortable.

She slowed the car down, shifting into a lower gear. They were passing the sign welcoming them to the hometown that had bred this wild creature before him.

The driveway rippled underneath the corvette's tires. He could feel her satisfaction and pride flowed through the bond at knowing how something so simple had pleased her.

She parked—and a silence fell over the car. They were both tense; he was surprised the emotion bouncing between them had not manifested itself to something physical yet. She laid back into the seat. Her breasts were propped up into a perfect position. To his disappointment, she crossed her legs but the muscle in her calf bulged attractively.

"Kiss me," she said looking into his eyes expectantly. He cupped the fat on her thigh; it was slightly damp from the humid heat. She reminded him of the women of his time, the ones the warriors desired, healthy, large breasted.

He leaned in towards her; the gear shift dug into his flesh, adding weighted pressure to his torturously blood filled groin. The demand was simple but desperate. His mouth crushed into her, greedily. He sucked her tongue into his mouth and pressed harder, bringing his hand to the back of her head so he wouldn't have to work as hard. His other hand moved to her breast, running the pads over the uncovered flesh, searching for her nipples. Contact.

His excitement and haste to get laid allowed her to shake him off. "That's not what I meant," she said. He pulled back and closed his mouth; his tongue traced the wet tissue of the inside of his mouth, absorbing her taste. His mind wandered, "_I want to kiss you there too,"_ He couldn't control his lust but she scolded too quickly. He knew she had been following his thoughts. He wondered how they appeared to her, sometimes imagining it to be like glimpsing someone's soul, whispers of intentions floating around like weightless feathers.

"No," she scolded, "kiss me as if you meant it."

What had he been doing? He couldn't remember a time when he was more excited to kiss a woman than his first time, with his wife.

"As if you love me," she clarified.

The word brought a pressure to his shoulders as if a pile of bricks had been stacked richly on top of him. Some part of his cleverly quick mind reminded him that he was flaccid. He knew what she was asking of him. She wanted the physical but penetrated with all of the emotional their relationship lacked.

"It's not impossible; you've done it before. I've been waiting forever—when will you come around," she exclaimed angrily.

"You have never complained before, quite the opposite actually," he replied tersely.

"That's because I was trying to be patient. During Hallow's curse, you kissed me as if I was the only thing you would ever care about. What was that? Where is that? Now…" her voice choked, "Now, you act like a sixteen year old boy trying to get his fix so he can go brag about it later. You have your fangbanger whores for a reason, Eric."

"What is with you, woman? Can you not control yourself, I have never met someone so needy in my life. Aggressive, lusty, needy, depressed, angry, territorial. It is becoming ridiculous. What has brought about this revelation?"

"I have always been honest about what I needed from you."

"And you said it would come, and you would wait. What has changed?"

"I have no idea," she said, but the open bond flooded with guilt.

"Try it again."

"Maybe I'd be better off with kisses like those even though I didn't return the sentiment, than lying to myself about your shallow caresses."

"And who would be giving you these enamored kisses?"

She looked down at her hands, chipped away the clear polish. Suddenly, she looked up, and stared into his eyes as deeply as she could. He didn't see her lips move and couldn't hear her because he was too stuck in her gaze. It brought him to the moment when he was disoriented. When he had lost track of time and was unaware of Hallow's curse. He remembered her affectionate eyes and then horror when he asked if he were in her home.

Her eyes were expectant now, and a series of emotions along with a vision of emotional turbulence filled his brain. He was seeing her but seeing himself, kissing her, his eyes distorted in some unfamiliar depth when the scene suddenly changed. And he felt the remembrance of her shock—of the face of the fairy instead of his own—he realized he had delved into her memories, her imagination.

"Preston," he heard clearly flow from her mind into his soul, before she repeated the name aloud.


	19. Chapter 19

_"And who would be giving you these enamored kisses?"_

_She looked down at her hands, chipped away the clear polish. Suddenly, she looked up, and stared into his eyes as deeply as she could. He didn't see her lips move and couldn't hear her because he was too stuck in her gaze. It brought him to the moment when he was disoriented. When he had lost track of time and was unaware of Hallow's curse. He remembered her affectionate eyes and then horror when he asked if he were in her home. _

_Her eyes were expectant now, and a series of emotions along with a vision of emotional turbulence filled his brain. He was seeing her but seeing himself, kissing her, his eyes distorted in some unfamiliar depth when the scene suddenly changed. And he felt the remembrance of her shock—of the face of the fairy instead of his own—he realized he had delved into her memories, her imagination._

_"Preston," he heard clearly flow from her mind into his soul, before she repeated the name aloud. _

* * *

**Dead to Me: Chapter Nineteen**

The shock at touching into her mind absolved all of the anger that should have been taking him over. It was overwhelming to have all of those sensations flowing through him at once. He had thought that living with the bond was difficult but hearing and feeling all of those impulses, feelings, decisions, and thoughts were impossible. He couldn't focus on himself because he was so dedicated to her and that was a sensation he was unfamiliar with. He always came first.

Her thoughts were selfish but yet unselfish. Most were of him, where he would be when she died, who would care for him other than those that were obligated to, whether he would ever be able to relax and get away from politics, what dress she would wear to meet Preston this weekend, how Quinn was right, and it just kept going.

When he came to, he realized only seconds had passed. That was one benefit of being a vampire; thought processes were so much faster. _Preston_. The swirl of self-hate and doubt that had been bothering him after the memories resurfaced came again. Was he good enough her? Would he be able to live with her mortality? Could he deal with the jealousy if he did allow her to move on? Was this inkling to hug and cuddle with her what humans referred to as love? Would things be easier if he just killed her and ended everything?

The thought made everything stop. His will to live stopped as soon as her body ran cold in his thoughts. He screamed out, still trapped in his head and smashed the passenger window. The fresh blood seeping from his arm finally brought him back to reality. Her dead—the thing he had worked so hard lately to prevent, was driving him insane and for one moment, he let himself think about what it would be like. He looked at her, needing to see the blush in her cheeks. His body automatically calmed down just watching her, slightly cowered in the corner.

He leaned towards her and she flinched. She was terrified of his reaction but he couldn't tap into her head again. Was it the passionate tension that allowed him that brief glimpse? She was shaking.

He slowed the motion of his hands and whispered a noise meant to quiet her. His lips met hers, slow, prompting, unsure. He felt her breath fill his mouth and for a moment, he thought he was breathing—really breathing, as if he needed her carbon dioxide as his oxygen. The warm sensation flowing through the bond was so pleasant, as if he had just sipped from a drunken human---no, a fairy. He thought of the two of them, curled up, vulnerable, prompting her for information of who he was. She knew him before he ever knew himself.

_So this is what love feels like?_ He thought as he felt her push him away so she could breathe. She pulled him back into her just as quickly as she had sucked in fresh air, and he was glad because everything in him told him he wouldn't survive without her body within inches of his. He pulled her over the gearshift while watching for excess glass. Her body was still barely clothed and he couldn't find the best way to adjust himself before lifting the two of them out of the matchbox car. She wouldn't mind; he knew that. He shoved the door open, the last shards of glass fell by his feet. He carried her up the steps, still kissing her but more passionately now. He lowered her to her feet pushed her hair off of her face before saying, "Good night, dear one."

He kissed her forehead and turned around walking towards his Corvette. He couldn't help but realize the irony in the fact that he damaged his own car while had been terrified of her scratching the paint mere minutes before.

"You're not staying?"

Her voice made his spine twinge and he turned slowly, knowing he would have to pace himself or he would be coming in after her.

"No, I must get my rest; tomorrow is a big day, and I must make preparations because starting a new beginning is the most difficult part, wouldn't you agree?"

"The beginning of what exactly, Eric?"

Her voice was tart, obviously frustrated with him. He would even go as far to say it screamed sexually frustrated and confused, but those would all be put to right soon. He thought about the three date wait-- he never really had to follow that rule but it seemed it may be in play for their situation. His confident smirk spread across his face and he looked up into her face, making sure the moon caught the shimmer in his glowing blue eyes.

"Why our courtship, of course!"

He was always successful at getting the last word. He knew that. He pushed the corvette into gear and caught sight of her open mouth as he backed up on the smooth driveway he had give her. For the first time in months, he felt exhilarated and stress-free. As he thought hard on his drive back (anything to keep him distracted from turning around and fucking her silly), he couldn't remember one valid reason for denying his affection for Miss Sookie Stackhouse.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so first of all, I am sorry for the erradic posting, I've had a hard time getting them (Sookie and Eric) to their romantic stage. Also, I know this may seemed rushed (the romantic stage) but I really just couldn't wait to get to the story at hand, and I hope y'all feel the same way. I'm going to try and get out as much of the story as possible this week (although it is exam week) because I want it to be done before or within the week after Book 9. Finally, I know this chapter is super short, but again, I was struggling to get us there. Hopefully, this will get me to more interesting things on plotline writing for now on. Fingers crossed! Okay--- I lied--- another Finally, --- Finally, I really love y'alls reviews, even if they may get to be bad ones... so keep me informed.. even if its just a -- hey! I'm still reading your story!! or I had Mac 'n Cheese for dinner! --LOL. Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks! _

_Joynessdotcom_


	20. Chapter 20

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* * *

**

Just a heads up, it's been awhile so you might want to reread the last couple chapters. I have to apologize for all of the failed promises. I've just been having a hard time dealing with DAG, especially when writing a completely different story. Stick with me, the summer should give more routine updates, and I think I'm over my little phase of seriously frustrated fan reading a seriously underwhelming final novel. With so many great fanfics on here, its easy to be disappointed. Also, I received one completely frustrating (and rude) PM about my writing and yes, I do have some errors in my posts, which I try to avoid but things happen, so sorry about them. I hope you enjoy, and aren't too underwhelmed by this post. Again, reviews are welcome (as long as they are worded appropriately!) or just have details about what was for lunch to let me know I still have some faithful readers out there. Enjoy!

* * *

_"The beginning of what exactly, Eric?"_

_Her voice was tart, obviously frustrated with him. He would even go as far to say it screamed sexually frustrated and confused, but those would all be put to right soon. He thought about the three date wait-- he never really had to follow that rule but it seemed it may be in play for their situation. His confident smirk spread across his face and he looked up into her face, making sure the moon caught the shimmer in his glowing blue eyes._

_"Why our courtship, of course!"_

_He was always successful at getting the last word. He knew that. He pushed the corvette into gear and caught sight of her open mouth as he backed up on the smooth driveway he had give her. For the first time in months, he felt exhilarated and stress-free. As he thought hard on his drive back (anything to keep him distracted from turning around and fucking her silly), he couldn't remember one valid reason for denying his affection for Miss Sookie Stackhouse._

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

The florescent powders popped and shimmered into the air, making me sure that my second date outfit wasn't going to make it for another wear. I was aware of my heart pounding, resetting to the percussion beat in the background. It was odd, and for a slight moment, made me think of how conscious he had to be of my heart beat at all times. The dating extravaganza had progressed slowly. The first date, ice skating in the backyard of the house, I was sure wasn't his idea, and later proved right.

I was shocked that he could've put something together that quickly but I guess that's what money can do. I had asked him if this was significant to him in someway, but, no. "Pam put together a reel of scenes from romantic comedies, earlier this week."

Go figure. Things don't change overnight, now do they? I had tried to compartmentalize that factor and just remember that he had made the effort. The ice was thick enough to skate even though the weather couldn't be colder than 45. I had great coordination so mostly there were just scary slips before I found my balance again. Despite this fact, Eric always grabbed me and pulled me to him, seemingly afraid I was made of glass… or maybe just making sure he wouldn't have to deal with tears? I couldn't ignore the fact that that was part of why it was a great date. His hands snug around my body disappeared after an hour or so only to return seconds later. And then there was snow.

I couldn't help but laugh, and even now, didn't know if I wanted to be in this moment of the second date or in that one. "It's amazing what you humans can come up with when you're not thinking of yourselves," he had said. I chuckled before replying, "Well, if that isn't the biggest hypocritical piece of bull, I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"Oh really? The biggest?"

"The biggest," I confirmed. He moved close to me, mouth pursed to do some serious kissing.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wash my mouth out with…lye?"

"Soap," I corrected, "but before we do that, I need to do one thing." I moved in for the kill, and we were attached at the mouth. He broke off the kissing after a few seconds to ask me, "Are you happy?"

I searched the bond, and at the moment I knew I was but with everything on pause it was hard to not let the doubts creep in.

"You know I am. Are you looking for an ego boost?"

"No. Sometimes, I wonder if you're still filtering and just not telling me."

"It's too much work to do that,"

"And you aren't listening to me?"

"You know I'm not. We haven't exchanged in awhile so it's a lot harder."

"Is that for the best," he asked. I thought about it and decided that if I really trusted him it would be. Could I trust him yet? He'd done so much to hurt me and it's not like he could all of a sudden throw himself into loving me. As if to throw fuel into the fire, I lied.

"Of course it is."

He searched my eyes before returning to kissing me again. Moving slowly, and then his hands cupping my butt to pull me up to his waist for better leverage. I ground myself against him, forcing him to groan before teetering and rocking back and forth. Before I knew it, he was on the ice and I was on top of him.

"Pam always teased me for not being coordinated at this," he readjusted me so that I was pulled closer and over a certain bump below his waistline.

I pushed down before saying, "As if that wasn't on purpose, really, Eric, I thought we were planning on working on honesty."

"Then tell me something honest, Sookie," he said seriously.

"You're very coordinated at this," I said with my most sultry voice before I returned for some lip action.

He broke off with me to say something and I chased his lips. "Seriously, Sookie, we should discuss what we are trying to do here."

"Kissing," I asked before dodging his questions and returning to my mission of breaking the third date rule.

"What the hell are we? What are we trying to be? Last week you were passionate, needy Sookie, and this week you're horny, sexy Sookie. Honestly, I don't know what you want anymore, and I'm having a hard time following your erratic behavior."

"Needy," I repeated, my tone already conforming to my pissed off attitude.

"That was the wrong word," he backpedaled, "I'm just worried about us, about this; this is one of the few things I haven't had practice doing."

"Ice Skating? Pissing off women? You're going to have to clarify for me here, Eric."

"Dating," he clarified. "I'm going to screw up here, I promise. And no matter how bad it is, you have to promise to forgive me just once."

"Once?"

"Just once."

"As long as you get me inside and get me warm."

"I can do that, Lover."

"Well, then it's a deal."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth he had me off the ice and into the kitchen where he handed me a mug of warm cocoa.

"I know this isn't what you were thinking, but Pamela and I have discussed American dating norms, and that isn't one of them."

"Aren't we beyond that?"

"It will make our relationship more magical."

"Did she make you rehearse that line or did you come up with it yourself? You know this is just a way for her to get under your skin, don't you? Do you do everything your mommy tells you to," I challenged.

"Lover, I think you misinterpret my level of patience. My resolve is strong; we'll wait until the third date where we will also have a longer discussion of our status as a couple."

"Oh will we?"

"Yes, Lover, and please stop pouting, I'll start a fire and you can search the entertainment closet for something PS for us to do."

"It's PG, something PG for us to do."

"That's what I said," he said innocently. I giggled, nodded, and said, "Of course, you did, Eric," before sticking some extra marshmallows in my mug and heading towards the living room to search for a movie or game.

* * *

Preston found me at work, the Saturday after Eric and my first date. We sat down in a booth during my break, but decided to move outside after conversations started to slow down and people began to stare. Sookie Stackhouse, the slut, with a new man every day. Another outsider, nonetheless.

I apologized profusely before explaining that I would call him immediately after Eric and I decided our status together. He knew we were bonded, but reminded me to think about ending the bond. At least, to give Eric and me a more normal outlook on our relationship, so we could accurately assess how we felt about each other. I promised him that I would, and seriously considered it for the next few days. Things falling more on Preston's side as the days progressed.

* * *

And so here we were. A week and a half after our first date, I was frustrated that he hadn't followed up, and half worried, half thankful that this would be his mistake that I would have to forgive but it wasn't. Fully aware of my few days in a row off, and working with his schedule of meetings with Victor in New Orleans, a town car pulled into my driveway and escorted me to New Orleans.

"You could've called me, and given me a little heads up," I said as he surprised me by opening my car door to escort me into the newest vampire-friendly hotel in the city.

"I'm so happy to see you too, Lover," he said with a mix of an angelic and sexy smile pasted onto his face.

"Sorry, I've just been all over the map lately. Please don't tell me I'm here for business."

"Of course not, I've got two more meetings, I could just squeeze out to greet you, and then we'll meet in the lobby at 11:45?"

"Are we sharing a room? I thought you were practicing patience."

"We'll be getting in too late for that, but I like the way you think. Perhaps, we really are more alike then I have suspected."

I ignored his comment and took the room key he extended.

"Room 245."

He bent down to kiss me, "I've missed you," he said making me blush.

"Me too. What are we doing tonight?"

His head adjusted, tilted towards the ceiling, as if hearing something I couldn't hear which was highly likely.

"I have to go, Lover, and what kind of fun would it be if I revealed the surprise?"

"The kind that I could be dressed appropriately for."

"You're perfect, now don't wander. I'll see you here at 11:45."

He kissed my forehead and disappeared before I could confirm the time.

The room was fairly clean but I suspected that was due to the housekeepers and not Eric. I opened the small overnight bag I had packed and pressed the black slacks against me comparing them to the skirt I had already worn. I gave everything the sniff test and decided that it would just be less complicated to stay in the outfit I had chosen in the first place.

Checking the bedside alarm clock, I had three hours to burn, so I settled into the bed to watch some old music videos before finally surrendering to sleep. I woke up to the earth shaking, panting feeling I got before a premonition. I laid back trying to breathe and calm down before I was privy to this partial view of Eric's office as if I was behind a door. He was tilted backwards in the chair behind his desk, hair glowing on top of a dark green Fangtasia T-Shirt that I didn't recognize. The view became uninterrupted as I got closer to him; he just seemed to notice me and meet my eyes guiltily before I was shocked into being reintroduced to the dank hotel room.

I felt as if the air had been knocked from my chest. It took me two attempts to grab a full breath and finally get a grip on reality. I turned over and pressed my head into the pillow. The clock read 11:33.

"Fuck!"

I ran to the bathroom and quickly sucked in some mouthwash and started swishing while brushing my hair and pressed my face close to the mirror to check and see if I needed any concealer. Everything looked okay. No stains on the old blouse that I had finally squeezed into. I was ready to go.

Eric was already waiting downstairs with the car door open. I slipped in, somewhat self-conscious, but glad I had managed to not run into any lovely Nevada vampires while on my way. The car engine groaned as he pressed the accelerator a bit harder than he should have.

"Excited," I asked him.

"Yes, aren't you?"

"More nervous than excited. Slow down, I want to look out the window... please," I added.

We turned off of Canal and headed through the quarter making sure to avoid Bourbon. Pulling into a parking garage, he glamoured an attendant to put it somewhere safe so his baby wouldn't be marked and then took my hand. I made sure my look displayed my disappointment in his actions but didn't say anything. He shrugged his shoulders and pulled me so we were walking at a pace that I could barely follow.

"Where are we going," I called out but all I could make out was a murmur about being late.

I was about to make him stop so I could catch my breath but he slowed down after rounding a corner and we stopped before an old wooden door covered with graffiti that seemed boarded up. I could vaguely hear chanting, but was too distracted with watching him slide the door upwards and kneel down to pass into the building.

"They only do this twice a year in different locations. I found it six years after I moved into the state. According to Pam, part of dating is sharing, so I thought we would try sharing this experience."

"What is this, Eric?"

"Just come with me."

I held onto his fingers as I followed him through the dark hallway where I was blind. He stopped, turned around, picked me up, and then flew us upwards. The chanting got closer as we moved higher. He placed me on a ledge and then nudged me to walk forwards so he could stand too. We walked through the wide hallway side by side, turned left, and entered a room with eight or so people with only two humans in the group. I doubted they were only human though.

"Eric, Old Friend, Come! Come! And you must be Sookie, I'm glad you made it!"

It took me a second to take all of the man in. He was short and must have weighed three times what Eric did; however, his fat torso didn't seem to interfere with any of the objects in the room. His arm was wrapped around a red head that was strikingly beautiful but in a sad way. Upon closer inspection, she looked like a child. The man had appeared out of nowhere, the girl drifting in from behind his stance. My paranoia told me that he really did just pop out of the air. He handed Eric a vial full of dark blood while she extended a purple vial to me. A snake was wound her wrist so Eric, feeling my hesitation, accepted it for me. The round, smiling man held a lime green vial and the girl seemed to eye her own that matched his.

"Cheers!"

Eric nodded to me and I heard his murmur in my mind. _Trust me_.

I tilted the vial towards my mouth but he stopped me and we wrapped our arms around each other and clinked tubes and took the shot. It tasted like a mix of Bloody Mary and grape Coca Cola. There was a quick opportunity to glimpse into Eric's mind which revealed that I tasted Eric's too.

My body did a violent shake that reminded me of an orgasm and I smiled at Eric. He kissed me and pulled me in front of him so I could get a better view of the action. It was some form of Voodoo celebration. Feathers flew through the room but none seemed to ever touch the floor. The pair that approached us walked to the center of the room and held each other while the chanting of other individuals took over the room. The candle light flickered together, others gathered around the man and girl we met and started to dance and heave—some falling to the floor letting their bodies bounce and rock with an unseen force. Eric leaned over me and whispered the chant in my ear.

I knew he wanted me to follow him so I tried to echo the grunts and syllables. We rocked back and forward. The group in the center of the room picked up handfuls of colorful powders and threw them at the individuals surrounding them. Eric tilted us sideways allowing us to both be hit. My heart accelerated meeting the pattern of the drum beat. I felt sparks all over my body and we exchanged a deep, embarrassingly blush worthy kiss. The chanting continued though I could tell that none of the other couples in the room were mouthing the words.

We continued to rock back and forth, just enjoying our time together. Feeling our bodies vibrate, and sigh as they pressed against each other. Eric shook me and murmured that it was close to dawn. I must've fallen asleep dancing in his arms. The hefty man winked at us while kissing the happier, gorgeous girl. His face was ruddier from all the dancing and her snake had moved to coil around their waists, seeming to grow at least eight times larger.

He lifted me and we flew downwards, still carrying me, we exited the building where we only saw a few stragglers with beads and plastic hand grenades walking away from what must've been a really good night for them too. We walked back to the garage still leaning against each other and holding hands. I noticed my body splattered with lime green and purple dust. Checking to see if we matched, I was surprised to find him with red powder splotches mixed in with the lime green. _How is that possible?_

* * *

When we made it back to the hotel, the bond was buzzing stronger than ever. It bounced and fizzed, and I felt closer to him than ever before.

"What was that, Eric?"

"I guess you could call it a mix of Voodoo and magical celebration. It binds and repairs souls so they can be closer."

"As in, our souls?"

"Yes, I thought you would enjoy it even if you may not believe in that kind of thing. I thought this would be a good thing to do after you had said our souls were interlocked in the hotel room a couple weeks ago. You're not mad?"

"No. I feel closer to you."

"I do too. Though who knows, maybe we just needed time together."

"Eric, its okay, I know you believe in it, and I think I do too," and I certainly did, I felt drunk but instead of things getting blurrier they were getting clearer, "that couple was so odd, the man was so old and she was so young, he was so… and she was so gorgeous but for some reason I knew they were perfect for each other."

Eric was quiet for a moment; I was afraid that the sun had set but finally he moved the two of us so we could look at one another.

"Those were our souls, Sookie. I know that I don't have a soul, vampires aren't supposed to have souls, but what should be our life being or whatever one would call it, they rise during those events."

"But they didn't look anything like us. "

"Of course they did; mine was tarnished by years of age, exhaustion, bad actions, and over indulgence. Yours was pure, with only minor wear, while still clearly pained by your short lifespan."

I didn't know what to say so I just pulled myself closer to him. Sensing my disbelief and discomfort, he spoke quietly, "Sookie, you said it yourself, they were perfect for each other, and if your conviction of us as a couple already exists then it seems you were right all along because I seemed to agree with you."

I couldn't argue with that, "But Eric, seriously, I was a red head? And what was with the snake?"

"Red heads have fiery tempers and are quick-tempered which seems to fit you. They are sexual beings, and during Pam's generation they faced a lot of discrimination. Perhaps, it fits how you fight for those that usually face mistrust? I'm not sure, Sookie. The higher powers shaped your physical and spiritual being… I'll have to think more about the snake."

"They are evil in the bible; do you think I have something evil growing within me. What if it has to do with the premonitions?"

"If it was something dangerous it would have shrunken throughout the celebration. I must sleep now, Sookie. Do not worry, enjoy our closer connection."

I exhaled and moved myself so I could rest on his torso. His body went rigid beneath me and for a split second I thought about the premonition once more, but his sleep grabbed me and pulled me under with him before I could give it another thought.


	21. Chapter 21

"…_Do not worry, enjoy our closer connection."_

_I exhaled and moved myself so I could rest on his torso. His body went rigid beneath me and for a split second I thought about the premonition once more, but his sleep grabbed me and pulled me under with him before I could give it another thought._

**Dead To Me: Chapter 21**

I woke up around two, realizing that we were both a bit smelly. I was curled up against him, and would eagerly admit that I'm a woman that likes a manly man rubbing against her, but this was a bit much. I kissed his cheek before getting up to go shower, rubbing out the muscles from standing on my feet even off the work schedule!

We were waiting for date three and had made it through date two with lots of heavy petting but no Nookie. I was always a believer in sleeping with a man without having sex, it could really up the intimacy, but that's when you can wake up to cute kisses and pillow talk which with a vampire, you really can't do.

After stepping out of the shower, I sat down in the corner chair to wait. Of course, if you give a woman enough waiting time, nothing good can really come from it. So here sat Sookie Stackhouse with a wandering mind, trying to figure out what her life could mean, become, develop into, etc.

Mostly, I was just frustrated about waiting. Would I be sitting my whole life waiting for Eric to wakeup? Basically living two different lives, wanting him, and being with him while he was doing god knows what in Shreveport. What were we going to do about that? And so the wandering mind went. All I could do was sit subjected to my relationship worries, amping myself up for a huge blow up argument on the ride home. We were going home, weren't we?

Who knew? Because yet again, here sat Sookie Stackhouse, unaware of anything going on in her vampire's life. Did he have more meetings tonight? Was I supposed to find my own way home? Surely, not. To distract my mind, I started to do some maintenance work. I brushed my teeth, flossed, scrubbed my nails, drenched myself in lotion, and started picking at my split ends but as the clock rolled around to 4:30, unsurprisingly, no waking Eric, and nothing left to do but fry my brain with the television, or snuggle with my smelly beau which would only end up getting me gross with no guarantee of sex despite the fact.

So really, there was only one thing left to do. Snoop.

Flipping open his suitcase, I found a wide variety of Eric-like wear: two pairs of blue jeans, several Fangtasia t-shirts, one pair of crumpled khakis, a set of three ties to match the suit I had discovered in the closet only moments earlier, and no underwear. I wasn't surprised, only deciding that my Viking was wearing his silk boxers from the night before simply because he didn't want to risk me jumping him.

So his black, inconspicuous suitcase was rather boring with the few exceptions: a blue tracksuit, a dark wig (with hair dye to match). I searched my mind for an explanation of the two items that were so very un-Eric but couldn't seem to find a scenario that fit. Was there something dangerous that Eric was trying to keep under wraps?

I returned to my chair, leaning over the desk, searching for more or Eric's little clues. My leg made contact with soft leather. I pushed the chair back before getting on my knees to pull out a dark brown somewhat rusty colored briefcase. Sneaking a peak at my Viking, I made sure he was still asleep. Sunset wasn't for a good thirty-six minutes but I knew he wasn't always precise. Maybe all that good active soul work would keep him under for awhile.

I pulled open the briefcase and discovered lots of scraps of documents, a few floor plans, and lots of napkins with girl's phone numbers. Great! I thought. Go figure, he would keep something that I'm sure he gets hundreds of every day. Perhaps, they are the only ones he was thinking of calling back? Paranoia was definitely setting in. I pulled out a white, shiny photocopy of a dark green t-shirt that seemed to match the one of my premonition. I folded it up without thinking and stuck it in my jean pocket. The last compartment was tightly zipped, but well padded. An open, gold, lock was sitting at the bottom of the briefcase.

I took a deep breath, sneaked a look at Eric (still sleeping like a baby) and ripped it open thinking of ripping off a band-aid. Inside the pocket were two things: an envelope, and a black velvet box. I let down my shields to be aware of any inkling of Eric's mind. Of course any girl would open the box first. This is what we fantasized about. I closed my eyes, and opened it. With one eye still shot I peeked through my lashes to see it. There it was: a silver (white gold?) ring with a huge square diamond with two medium sized yellow topaz stones hugging it's sides, and two slightly smaller pink diamonds touching them. It was unbelievable, both in beauty and my estimated price. Considering I always underestimated things of great value, I doubled the numbers in my mind.

Marrying Eric? Was that a possibility? How long has he had this? And why is he carrying it around with him in New Orleans? I let myself relax and soak in the idea of a perfect relationship with my vampire, my bonded. Maybe this wasn't such a fairytale? This ring was definitely proof of Eric not fearing commitment. I tucked the box back into the briefcase compartment, then took it back out, looked at it one more time, and then put it back before he could catch me. Remembering the envelope, I picked it up from where I had thrown it carelessly on the desk in my eagerness.

On one side of the envelope were two signatures over the sealed closure, Pam and Eric's. I flipped it over and on the neat, clean white paper were the words, "The Last Will and Testament of Eric Northman, In The Event Of My Final Death." My mind couldn't catch up with my heart, a sudden lurch after beating so quickly after the discovery of the ring. I settled my breathing, and couldn't let go of this overwhelming emotion of loss. Was he expecting his death? Was he doing something dangerous that I hadn't been told about? That I hadn't even sensed through the bond or his mind?

I freaked. I stuffed the envelope into the pocket, slammed the zipper closed catching the white envelope in the metal teeth. I couldn't worry about that at the moment. I needed to get out. I didn't have the time to look for shoes, a purse, a sweater, I needed to get out, so I did what I've practiced so well, I left.


	22. Chapter 22

_On one side of the envelope were two signatures over the sealed closure, Pam and Eric's. I flipped it over and on the neat, clean white paper were the words, "The Last Will and Testament of Eric Northman, In The Event Of My Final Death." My mind couldn't catch up with my heart, a sudden lurch after beating so quickly after the discovery of the ring. I settled my breathing, and couldn't let go of this overwhelming emotion of loss. Was he expecting his death? Was he doing something dangerous that I hadn't been told about? That I hadn't even sensed through the bond or his mind?_

_I freaked. I stuffed the envelope into the pocket, slammed the zipper closed catching the white envelope in the metal teeth. I couldn't worry about that at the moment. I needed to get out. I didn't have the time to look for shoes, a purse, a sweater, I needed to get out, so I did what I've practiced so well, I left._

**Dead to Me: Chapter 22**

After turning the first corner towards the elevator, I realized how silly this was. I also realized that Eric, my bonded, was very much awake. I picked up the pace to get out of the building or at least inside the elevator before he found me in the blacked out, vampire safe, floor.

The ring was not very Eric, made with a flourish; it achieved the feminine look and only identified itself as belonging to him by the price range. But yellow topaz? I know beggars can't be choosers but was that what he thought I would like? Was that what he liked? And suddenly, I realized that I knew hardly anything about Eric Northman. The Viking went out of his way to get to know me, to pick out things I liked, to protect me, and we knew nothing of one another. I tried to push my mind to certain lines of thought, to get myself the hell out of there, but really, the only thing I could think of were three things:

1. A Promotion Poster: I had found a sheet of paper announcing the new Fangtasia shirt. It was a deep green and seemed to tie in some form of St. Patrick's Day and Blood-thirsty vampires. The significance in the product was not the attractive cut that would define the bleach white muscles of Eric Northman, but that it was one of the few things that identified one of my "future-seeing, dizzy-making, scare-the-living-shit-out-of-Sookie, dreams." So sometime, in the next two weeks, expecting that St. Patrick's Day was the anticipated date for this shirt to be sold, my Viking would be wearing it, and I would be seeing him in it, but the significance of that fact was still lost on me.

2. A ring: it could mean a proposal, from the man who had feared commitment and honesty with me, that said a lot. Could two dates make that much of a turn-a-round? Well, no, he had to have bought it before our second date. We both knew that he was a commitment-a-phobe. After being a bachelor for over a thousand years, could you really blame him? No.

3. A will: did Eric see something in the future that I couldn't? Did that mean that he was going to die…

I was whirled around to come face to face with him. He was animated and I realized this whole time I had been thinking about his dead, still body in bed. The air must have rubbed his face enough to warm it because he seemed almost flushed.

"Eric," I cried out and jumped into his arms kicking air to meet him at eye level and crush him with a kiss. I had forgotten all that had me running seconds earlier. He tolerated my heavy, thirsty kisses until we reached a bit of a standstill. He was obviously upset that he woke without me in the room, and I was almost shaking with realization of what his finding me meant. I would be 'fessing up sooner than expected, and to something that may not please Eric.

He tolerated a few more throaty kisses before interrupting us by opening our hotel room door. I hadn't noticed the movement, but there was no way to deny that we had moved from my last destination.

"Lover, are you going to tell me where you were going, or am I going to connect the clues myself,"

"Dots," I corrected, and then blushed because we both knew why I had left, but he wanted me to say it aloud.

" You then," he mused before making eye contact and smiling with satisfaction at arriving at his intended point in our conversation.

"Well… I… I was bored."

"If we weren't in the situation we are in, I'd agree with you, lover," he said with a leer and allowed his eyes to drag over every centimeter of my buffed, scrubbed, exfoliated, trimmed, smooth, and shiny body.

"Right, well, we could say this is your fault," he raised his eyebrows although I couldn't decipher whether that action meant _"don't go there," _or _"this is going to be a good one,"_ but I decided to go with sticking to my train of thought.

"Well, you know that I'm not the type of the woman to wait for my husband to come home from work or wake up or whatever. I'm not a woman that's meant to be sitting still for several hours, especially if I haven't been laid recently."

Eric raised his eyebrows but still didn't say anything. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his persistence to sticking with his goal of making me admit to why I ran. I had hoped that the husband comment would at least get him off track, but he seemed surprisingly disinterested.

"So I got to thinking about how I don't know anything about you, and so I decided to pry a bit."

He scanned the room, his gaze flickering over the briefcase and then returning to my face. He didn't seem to acknowledge that it had been moved or tampered with. Instead, he waited.

"I found your will," I blurted out before he could examine my shame any longer.

"And you had a problem with my allocations?"

"I didn't read it"

Well, at least that was the truth. I had to admit that I was like Eric in a way. I was strictly tell only when asked plainly or tell only so much while still allowing your ass to be covered. The ring, and the flyer stayed locked up tight. I stuck with self-denial in the factor that I couldn't be honest with Eric when I expected him to change for me.

"So you thought that the copy of this document, that I keep on my person at all times, was 'FILL IN EMOTION HERE' enough to leave me alone, vulnerable and exposed, during my daytime sleep," he snapped, sarcastically—his hands still lingering from air quotes.

I was always surprised by how quick Eric could be, pushing and prodding like a doctor, looking for the bullshit, but not necessarily ever calling me a liar or blaming me. He wouldn't want to be called out on his own shit.

"Did you find anything else in that bag that you would like to talk about, Sookie?"

I shook my head.

"So be it."

_That was it? So be it?_ We still stood chest to chest and I absently dragged my fingernails up and down his bicep while his hand stroked the center of my back. I started to recognize that we were more in sync. I couldn't help but think about how he had been the perfect boyfriend for the last week and a half. The calls came on time, the heavy kissing and petting but no tamale, the sweet nothings. I was waiting for the ball to drop, so he could keep his promise of messing up. I told myself that I would keep my promise of forgiving him.

Until that moment, I hadn't noticed the bond. It was thriving with emotions, and somehow, all of them were pleasant. I couldn't spot the difference between yesterday and today, but something made us feel melted together. As if the bond had changed from his and mine to ours.

"What time is it," I asked

"6:23"

"Let's go," I told him.

"Where are we going," he asked.

"Well, we have to get out of this room before I make you break your third date rule, and since I'm getting so impatient, I thought we could have our third date tonight."

"But I already have something planned for Thursday,"

"Do you really want to wait until Thursday to have sex," I asked him without thinking that he could be having sex, just not sex with me. I couldn't remember if we'd discussed the terms of this relationship. Were we exclusive? He couldn't be okay with me sleeping with someone else while we were doing whatever we were doing—but would it really be fair for him to fangbang his way through Fangtasia? Well, considering how patriarchal vampires could be—maybe so.

He seemed to sense my mood.

"Your mouth was saying one thing but your emotions were not along the same line," he established.

"That seems to be a fact."

I caught his annoyance.

"I don't want you to be so unsatisfied that you find comfort with someone else."

"Hmmm…" he tutted, "than let's go on your third date, lover."

He kissed the top of my head, before slinging his bag over his shoulder and pulling the handle on my little bag that I had seemed to forget about. It always shocked me when I saw him do something—human…domestic.

When we got in the car, I borrowed his phone to use the GPS, and gave him directions. Eric driving without knowing where he was going equaled a slower, but much more ticked off driver. When we got there, the humane society seemed closed; Eric knocked on the door and glamoured the attendant into letting us into the kennel.

"You aren't going to find anything pure and pretty here," Eric reminded me, looking down at boxes full of assortments of somewhat ugly dogs.

"Do I look like the pure and pretty kind of girl? Gosh, you sound like some of those white-power, Fellowship of the Sun people."

"Then what kind of girl are you?"

"This is what dates are for, Eric. To find out. We're going to find a dog we both like—I know we're supposed to start slow, but it never hurts to have a little extra company. Plus, we're doing something nice."

"Company to distract you from snooping. That sounds good my lover. I see. This is a form of glue---to share--- keep us together."

"If a dog is the only thing keeping us together than let me know—okay? Because, honestly, I try to not be in that much of denial."

He chuckled, and set off on his mission of finding me the perfect dog, and I looked for his. The cages were crowded and I tried not to think about how many dogs they had put down besides the ones they had shipped north after Katrina. There were a lot of pit bulls, one Great Dane, and a bunch of really thin, emaciated dogs that I didn't think would make it another couple months. I stopped at a Basset Hound. He was fat and reminded me of Eric's physical spirit. He was probably someone's pet. He didn't fit in here.

"I found the one that fits you," I echoed across the room, turning around and searching for Eric. He was bent over, fingers stuck between the gapes in the fence. _If that dog bites his fingers off… how long would it take for them to grow back? _I made myself swallow.

"I've got yours."

I walked to his side and examined the pup. He looked like a dirty Benji. Somehow, I just knew he would be a yappy dog. He did suit me though.

"He won't be much of a guard dog, though."

"Dogs are not supposed to be practical," I told him.

"Why can they not be both? Would you turn down a friend and someone to protect you?"

_Insert friend with lover here._

"Alright, well, let's go look at yours."

I led him over to the Basset Hound and he stared at him critically.

"He belongs to someone."

I was surprised by his statement, and hurt that he didn't seem to like the dog as I thought he would.

"Yes, I guess he does," I said not trying to hide my disappointment.

"I like him very much, but he does not suit you," he said before dipping down for a peck on the lips.

I felt a sense of relief. If I knew anything about dogs, I knew that that drool would not treat my grandmother's hard wood floors right.

"I think we should look together," he said while interlocking his fingers with mine. I tried to disregard the flashback to over a year ago. Falling asleep with him.

"That's a great idea," I said while thinking how nice and normal we could be. We walked down the hall, examining dirty, unhappy, and mean dogs. We did not have an easy time agreeing. Somehow protective equaled mean and ugly. I wanted something to cuddle with during the day.

Eric found him. _Theodore_. He was locked up in a corner, by himself which Eric had told me was a bad sign. He didn't get along with others. He was rather ordinary, so ordinary that I had to have passed him when I was looking for Eric's dog and not noticed. But when Eric put his fingers through the holes, Theodore licked up and down the lengths of his fingers. I made sure to point out that they had this in common. Eric had a thing for sucking fingers—one of the few sexual motifs that we did not agree on, but I never told him that. Theodore was a Airedale/Pit Bull mix and he was big. He seemed to listen to Eric, following whistles and a few firm pushes. _How were we going to get him in the 'vette?_

But we did. I asked Eric to run through a drivethrough on the way home. Teddy, as I called him (Eric refused), shared French fries while we made the Eric-short drive home. We stopped at Super Wal-Mart and got some pet supplies including a purple collar that would shine off his dark fur. I couldn't help but find it funny that two blond-haired, blue-eyed individuals, would have a dark haired, brown-eyed dog. _So much for dogs looking like their owners._

We got home around three and I sent Eric upstairs because he hadn't showered since at least before our date the night before. I took Teddy out and let him do a bit of searching on the property. Of course when I clapped, and hollered his name, Teddy didn't come. _I guess a leash would've been a great purchase._ A high-pitched whistle broke my chants and I turned to see Eric, half naked standing on the porch, and a galloping Teddy making his way to sit beneath Eric's feet.

We managed to get him fed and a bed of old blankets in a corner of the porch before heading upstairs.

"I didn't realize that Teddy would take away some of our time," Eric complained.

"We all have to make sacrifices."

"Says who? I thought sacrifices were in order for greater rewards in the long-run."

"Teddy will be the reward. We'll love him."

Some noise which I guessed expressed his doubt came from deep in his chest.

"Then maybe a reward now," I said with a quirky grin before licking my lips and pulling at the knot in the towel. Eric seemed to get the idea and his gracious plenty helped me loosen the towel while he allowed me to push him onto my bed.

We both moaned when he was free. I wrapped my hand around his girth, sizing it up, watching him watch me before dipping down to take a lick. I made a thorough examination of his gracious plenty, cupping his balls as I surrounded each side of his erection with my saliva before licking the underside of his head.

His cock was gorgeous – long and hard, the bulbous head dripping with pre cum. I could feel the blood pulsing through the thick vein that ran along his shaft, feeding his erection. I let go of him for a second, and nudged him to move higher on the bed so I could spread his legs giving me more access to his pelvis and making the position more comfortable than the wooden floor. He moaned as I held him again, as I leant over and licked him slowly from the root to the very tip, my tongue flicking away the bead of pre cum.

Eric watched as his cock disappeared into my mouth, my lips tight around him, his moans getting louder as I sucked on him, my head bobbing up and down. I released him to blow air onto the moist layer of saliva and precum forcing him to emit, "Sookie," and claw at the sheets. I smiled and brought my mouth back to cover him—warm him up, pausing until he found my eyes again. I sucked him deeper into my mouth, savouring the taste, the feel of him as his body began to tense as waves of pleasure rocked him. I reached down to cup and squeeze his balls, my other hand stroking up and down his cock.

As I felt his cum starting to rise, I stopped sucking and eased his cock out of my mouth, pushing it back against his body. I licked slowly along the edges of his pelvis, and then again, along his gracious plenty, onto his balls, and as deep as my probing tongue could reach. I lapped and sucked at his heavy balls, sucking them into my warm mouth.

Eric moaned out loud, and – reaching for my head – pulled me back onto his cock, pushing himself back into my willing mouth. He fucked my wet mouth, his hips bouncing up off the mattress as he held my head, his fingers entwined in my hair. I sucked on him, drawing him deeper into me with each thrust of his hips. I felt his balls tighten in my hand as his cum built up inside them, demanding release. I moaned as he fucked me harder, my hand stroking him in time with my sucking, in time with his thrusts.

I was surprised that I didn't mind this treatment. In some ways, it was erotic, and surprising, a twist and maybe even crack in the good boyfriend façade he had been keeping for the last couple of months. I released his balls so I could slip a hand down my black slacks and push both of our pleasures to another level. I had realized somewhere right after starting that Eric's pleasure was unlike any pleasure that the bond had given me before. It was our pleasure, and the idea of two mutual happy pre-orgasmic people together was forcing my hand down my panties. I reminded myself to breathe and I moaned on his head, making vibrations and a last thrust and accompanying gushes of liquid at the same moment I had made contact with my clit.

I slumped between his legs, panting from his experience of orgasm, and enjoyed his fingers running through my hair.

"I've never…"

"I know," I said. He sat up and I angled my head so I could look at him.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? I know we've never…"

I swallowed, and only felt a mild ache—nothing to complain about.

"Sookie Stackhouse," he said in a threatening tone.

"I was about to tell you no, Eric. You have to give me a second, humans don't recover as fast as vampires."

"Did I say that you could masturbate yourself without permission?" he said in the same tone. I suddenly realized that I was still rubbing my clit; my cheeks flushed. _So much for time for recovery._

While that thought was processing, I was thrown and twisted so I was in the center of the bed, and Eric jerked my slacks off my body. He tore the strings of my underwear and suddenly, my hands rubbing my open pussy were exposed. He groaned and said something in a language I couldn't understand. He didn't have any trouble physically responding as well. I pulled my hands away.

"Don't stop," he commanded. So I reluctantly put my hands back.

My breathing grew heavier as I watched him watch me. Occasionally, he would give himself a stroke but mostly his eyes darted between my splayed sex and my eyes. I knew my face was splotchy from my closeness.

"I'm realizing that this isn't fair," he said, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I was panting too loudly; I was so close.

Suddenly, my hand was removed from my sex and I whined, and considered begging for him to give it back. He was on his knees and pulled me towards him. I started to spread my legs, to give him a good angle so he could dip below me and enter, but he had a different idea.

He turned us so that we were facing the foot of the bed, and my dresser. My back was to his chest and his gracious plenty pulsed between our bodies. He sat back on his heels as he lifted me onto his thighs, spreading my body enough to mount me on his cock.

My head lulled backwards to lean on his shoulder as I tried to suck in air. It'd been weeks, and I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be empty again. He didn't thrust. Instead, he waited until I tried to look back at him, to tell him to get to it, but I couldn't see him in this position.

"Look forward, Sookie," he commanded.

I saw myself in the mirror above my dresser. My legs separated by his thighs so I could see myself exposed, his hand lingering above my clit while he thrust forward for the first time and I could watch him move into me. He moaned. I was reminded of how much a voyeur he was, and could feel myself getting wetter. _Obviously, I am too_.

He rolled my nipple between his thumb and index finger while tapping on my clit. I leaned back so he could go deeper making him pull accidentally on my nipple.

I screamed and came undone. He waited for my body to stop shivering and finally, when my mind came back to the moment, I realized the whole time we had kept eye contact.

"Please," I begged, "I need another,"

And so he complied---thrusting a bit harder, but massaging me slowly, making the orgasm build. I shouted his name urging him on. He stopped for a moment when I let my eyes wander to the ceiling. My neck was so tired, my body so weak from the need for another orgasm, but I made it back to his eyes---to watching the two of us fuck.

His thrusts became faster, and I pulled my neck away from him, having to tell him out loud that I trusted him to take my blood—more fairy enhanced than ever. It scared me how much I thought he would never hurt me.

He bit so smoothly that I knew it was intentional. He wanted me to cum with him this time. Only a few drags before licking the tear of blood that ran down my collar bone towards my nipple. He never made such a mistake. Bill ruined my sheets—not Eric. When he licked the trail off my chest and sweaty skin, I knew it was for my own voyeurism. I gasped and involuntarily shook. He smirked before confirming it with a wink.

"Your sweat is so sweet, my lover," he commented, before thrusting deeper and harder than ever before. I moved my body with his, trying to keep up. His eyes were still focused on mine even though they were dialated and his fangs still remained down. His mouth was slightly bloody. I couldn't help but groan. I didn't know how much longer my body would last. I took his wrist ignoring my mental battle of whether his blood would make the thoughts be any louder. I bit.

He jerked and let out a primitive grunt before slowing down. The fairy blood leaving some of his system. He gained his control and started to angle himself inside of me.

"Please Eric," I begged.

"You are mine, Sookie Stackhouse. You will belong to no other—You will cum on no other cock than mine. I was being stupid weeks ago, we both know that you belong on me, and to me. Tell me you're mine, Sookie."

My mind fought what any independent woman would, but he knew he would always have me when keeping my orgasm on a string out of reach. I could say it. _It really doesn't count when we're naked and he's inside of me, does it?_

"I'm yours."

"Whose?"

"I'm yours, Eric."

He moaned and started sucking on the flesh around my throat. I squealed as he hit a certain spot, but he backed off, stringing me along. I watched him, my eyes pleading.

"You can cum, now, Sookie,"

And as if the thread had been cut, my body swung back and forth as he let loose a stream inside of me and I bit my lip to hold back the throaty holler that had escaped. My breath could not stay in my lungs and I collapsed, still splayed on top of him.

His hands lightly stroked my chest and stomach trying to be soothing and calm me. It surprised me that it was working. I was slowly falling asleep on top of him. Right as sleep caught me, I realized that he had given me permission to orgasm, but I was too exhausted to be frightened about what that meant.

* * *

**_A/N: So I realize it has been a LONG time since I've updated. I've had several messages asking me to finish up. I've known where this has been going since the beginning--it's just that I don't want to rush it, so then the story never gets written. I finally came to terms that I needed to finish this up not only because I've read almost all Sookie/Eric stories on the SVM but also because I've been rereading ones that haven't been worked on in over six months waiting for some more words to be put down on my favorites. It's miserable. I'm sorry to do that to some of you. So here's a bit for those that found this to be a favorite. I appreciate your patience, and comments. I assume there will be some new readers considering the growth of the SVM world since TB Season 2 came out since I wrote my last chapter and all. I hope you enjoy what I've created as well. Hopefully, since I've gotten a jumpstart, I'll keep it rolling. _**

**_--Also for practical purposes:_**

**_1) This wasn't edited by anyone except for me, because I haven't found a Beta. If there are too many problems, let me know, and I'll think about hunting one down. _**

**_2) This is Charlaine's world, I'm just playing in it._**

**_3) Review, Review, Review. Thanks!_**


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